Monday, May 11, 2009

Dear David

Dear Uncle David,
I know that you can't read this, but if you were to be able to, these are the things I wish I could have told you before you left us.

I am sorry that I didn't write to you every day like I promised I would. I was only 9 at the time, and didn't realize how hard that would be. I want you to know that even though I didn't write every day, I missed you every day. I am sorry that I didn't come to see you when you were dying. I know you would have wanted me to spend my money on college rather than coming down. I kind of glad I didn't because I want to keep the picture I have of you in my head. I want to remember you with your flannel shirt and jeans, even when it was too damn hot to be wearing them! I didn't want it to be replaced with death. I want you to know that I love you. I always have and I always will.

I am sorry that you didn't get to see me get married. You were missed that day and the milestones that have passed since then make us miss you more. That hole can never be replaced. I am sorry that you will never meet my children. Mom says Jackson is a combination of you and Danny.

I want you to know that I remember playing with you when I was little. Travis misses you terribly too. We're sad that we never got to see you as we grew up but know that you understand. We remember playing at your house when you lived down the street, and Travis vividly remembers you and Danny tossing him like a ball. :) Danny took Matt & I to see your tree (it's huge and beautiful now) when we came down for our honeymoon. I remember talking to you on the phone once and you laughed because you said I lost my southern accent and sound like a valley girl. I try to incorporate my "yall" into conversations just for you. :) I didn't forget where I came from- it's always with me.

I want you to know my mom misses you every day. It's easier now, but she still isn't the same. A little piece of her left when you left. It makes me sad because I know there isn't anything I can do for her and I wish I could. We know that you watch out for us and we're thankful for that. I know she feels guilty and feels that she could have done more to help you. I wish there was some way that you could reassure her that she was a great sister to you.

Oh David, nothing is the same. We aren't a complete family without you. We are so sad you've left us, but we know you are in a much better place. I hope you're there holding the door open for us when we see you next. Watch out for us until then, and know that no matter how much time passes until then, we love you and we miss you terribly. It's been a long seven years without you.

Love, Sara

1 comment:

The Treadler said...

That was beautiful Sara!