Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Let's Educate Ourselves/Dear Drivers

I'm all for learning something new every day:

(this photo was jacked from

Dear Drivers:
On my daily commute to work each day I struggle with road rage. I struggle because you, the assclown who is driving 27 mph in a 35mph area where everyone else is doing at least 45mph. Do you realize that by being under the posted speed limit, and dangerously under the rest of us that you are a road hazard?

I am also asking that those of you driving semi-trucks or other vehicles that can't "go" at a green light to please get in the lane farthest to the right? Yah- because you are in my way and I am likely late for work. And really? You being slow prevents me from stopping to get my daily orange juice and jumbo chocolate chip muffin and NOBODY will want to deal with me if I don't get my breakfast. Because I am chunky and hungry.

If you are one of those drivers that drive with your music super loud with the windows down- mor power to you, I do it myself. BUT, if you are going to do that, at least have some mother fucking cred and listen to something cool. Michael Bolton blasting out? Not so cool. That makes you a loser. Instead, when you see me pull up in my mom-mobile minivan, shut your shit off so you don't interrupt my music. Because really? Xhibit trumps Bolton. Period. In the words of Snoop Dogg, "Bitch please, you must have a mental disease".

And green lights? Green means go. The gas pedal is on the right please just use it. Um, thanks.

1 comment:

Sony said...

Hi Sara,

I think you may enjoy this article. Cheers to the novel.


Sony :)