Thursday, December 24, 2009

For your anal pleasure & home project #1 of 2010

Wow- I bet you thought I was going to go somewhere naughty there? What might be disturbing is the number of you who wanted me to go there. Perverts.

Anyways. So I was perusing one of my favorite blogs, FinnyKnits, the other day when I read this post about her reorganzing her under the sink cabinets. So I commented that yay! Mine are already organized.
And then I was challenged. She wanted me to post a picture. And I don't back down from challenges.
Welcome to my retro-ghetto kitchen. Things to note: The awesomness we call cabinets are original to the house. They are painted hunter green which is the most recent of colors but let me assure you- there was some pink on there at one point. This house is 100+ years old and nothing is aligned anymore.

Ta-da! Baskets organize all of my cleaning stuff. The left one is like every day messes, the right is like heavy duty. Then I have my blender (rarely used), my Rachel Ray dutch oven (used a lot) and an extra roll of paper towel.

Ignore the mess on my counters. I'm in a Xmas Eve frenzy. But notice the green? Notice the door doesn't shut. That's as close as it gets.

Yay! My uppers. But I'm short, so I need a chair to get to the tops. The doors are as closed as I can get them.

Ew- the grossest built in cutting board ever. I have never used it because it smells so bad. It's falling apart, but pulls out like a drawer. I'm 99% sure there is decayed stuff behind the cupboards.

But guess what Finny? When opening my cupboards today I'm like "Fucking gross- what the hell is this shit?!" and I cleaned them (notice the towel in picture one). Well guess what? My fucking pipes or whatever they are leak. Like bad. So I had standing water in there. So I call Matt in to you know- investigate when he informs me that the one pipe thingie that goes into the floor or wherever is cracked in half. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Matt and Jackson inspecting the problem. Jackson works better with his hand down his pants while holding a spray bottle and towel. I think Matt does too but he was busy with a flashlight.
So Merry effing Christmas to us. Thank god we didn't buy each other anything. Well we did, but just 2 small crappy things. Because now instead of buying my treadmill on payday, or buying more new cabinets to replace the pieces of shit currently in my kitchen, we'll be replacing plumbing. Matt assures me we're ok for awhile since he's using some good ole duct tape on the pipe thingie.
So Finny? If you'd like to donate to this cause, LET.ME.KNOW. :)


Mr O said...

i love the picture of the men investigating the scene, haha, good stuff.

Good luck with your household cause

Jessica said...

I hope the pipes at your house are now okay. Don't worry much, there's still next Christmas to buy awesome gifts for yourself. Merry Christmas, Sara! :)

Sebastian Anthony said...

Just reiterating what I said on 20sb: I want my money back!

But no, as far as I'm led to believe, anal pleasure for women isn't all that... pleasurable. I think it CAN be, but it's a bit hit-and-miss.

You have an old house for the States!

Sara said...

Great challenge! Bummer you found a problem with the plumbing.

What do you cook in the dutch oven?

Sara Strand said...

@Mr.O- the men are always investigating something. Matt has taught Jackson, 20 months, how to hold his junk. Jack is trying to say junk now. It's great.

@Jessica- I'm totally blowing my next paycheck on fun stuff. Bills be damned!

@Seb- er..I'll email you or something! I think a girl (maybe more?) have lied to you! No, my house is actually "average" because around here we don't have many apartments or those cookie cutter development houses. Nope- we've got houses that fall apart regularly. The American Dream, right?

@Sara- SPAGHETTI is absolutely at it's finest in my dutch oven if you bake it for at least 2 hours. But I also cook just about anything I can in that thing in my oven. If I could only bring one kitchen item with me to hell, I'd bring this.

Lindsey said...

I hear that a dutch oven is good for just about anything, too (but I don't have one so send it on!). We have a house that's only about 10 years old but we keep discovering things about it, too. Example: leaking from the pouring rain into our attic-ish space above the master bedroom. Drip Drip Drip was all I heard Christmas Eve!

Good luck hon!

Julie H said...

Holy crap that sucks. I think you should soak your cutting board in bleach. Please!!

FinnyKnits said...

Oh sadness. Isn't that always how it goes - look too closely at something in an old house (ours is around 100 years old as well)and it falls apart. That's what's happened when we looked too close at the pillars of our front porch, the connections for the washer/dryer, the "mystery" wall in our kitchen and so on.
Our To Do list is dictated by the mood of our house. Which is to say that our house is cranky.

I am still very impressed at the organization of your sink cabinet and that your son has already mastered the crucial skills of any contractor.


Anonymous said...

Haven't been online much (obviously if you've noticed my lack of blogging)... but just have to say: Love that picture of Jackson! So funny!

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