Friday, February 19, 2010

Anwers Part Two. (aka perverts are supreme)

Wow- who knew by leaving my actual email address in my last post would be the permission for the perverts of the world to come out of the woodwork. Bravo for not being afraid to let your personal freak flag fly. Now I got a few more questions sinve my last post and only one person asked things in my comments. (And I totally know the person listed as "anonymous" and it's a fellow blogger. And I knew about this and I personally challenged this person. I'm game for just about anything, yall).

1. How much do those suckers weigh? Yeah, you know what I mean. Together they are 4.1 pounds. But I had to weigh in an awkward position so I don't know how completely accurate this is. Thank you neighbor for letting me borrow you food scale thingie.

2. I just made a ham sandwich. If I asked you to pee on it, would you? I make pretend that it's a picnic and I'm drinking lemonade! It depends on how badly I have to pee. I actually don't eat ham so it's not like I would feel as if I were offending the ham. Ham offends me. And so do pigs for that matter. So sure- I'd pee on a ham sandwich for you. OR I could just pee in a cup if that saves you the step. I'm good at that.

3. How impressive is your gag reflex? Could it take a Country Farms summer sausage? ACTUALLY, I have a horrible gag reflex. I actually gagged drinking out of a straw once. But in certain situations, I'll deal. But I ain't swallowing. I'm a picky eater so yeah. If you drink, I'll drink. ;) I mean, fair is fair, right??

4. Have you ever put a pair of your underwear on a cactus? Do that and take a picture and staple it to my left foot while I sit on a carrot. I've never seen a real cactus. But I'll tell you what- I'll buy one from the store on payday, put my underwear on it and post a picture. Does that work? Do you have an underwear style preference, because I don't want to let you down. Just lube the carrot first. It helps a bit.

5. If somebody gave you 20 dollars, would you let a midget touch your love button? Is the midget hot? I don't discriminate on height yo, but I do have certain requirements on the level of hot. If the midget resembles Robert Pattinson- he can pretend to do Morse Code for all I care.

6. Tampons or pads? For real? You REALLY want to know this??? Dang. You are fucking disgusting. Whatevs. But I have to go pads which I hate. I?? Have a tippy uterus. I'll deal with the disgustingness of a pad because in my case, a tippy uterus means fun sexy times. FYI.

7. Ice or water? I hate to break this to you, but ice is water. So both, dumbass.

8. Has anyone said you are kind of like a bitch? Um, yeah. Daily. And I happen to like it. At least I'm a fun bitch with friends.

9. Do you shave every day? Shave what, exactly? Legs and armpits? Yes. Down there? No. I'm on a periodic maintenance plan. (Side note- are you the same person who asked about my sleeping arrangments and underwear?)

Ok lamb whores. That is all of the questions I've gotten via comments and/or email. I think what we've leared here is that we have some really fucked up people among us. We've also learned that they have taken a liking to me. I think it is also safe to assume that they may possibly need therapy. A lot of it. More than I can provide. And in conclusion I think you have learned that nothing phases me. You can ask or say anything to/about me and I don't care. I happen to like me because I am fabulous. I also don't get embarrassed easily.

Nice try, though. ;)


RN Mama said...

Hi there! I came over from MODG confessions. Do you think our MIL's could be dead together? I'm just wondering.

Christina said...

WOW. Did people really ask you these questions?

Too funny!

Andhari said...

LOL @ midget looking like Rob Pattinson. AYE to that!:)

Organic Meatbag said...

Wow!! The guy that asked these questions must be a real deviant with squirrels in his pants!! And you?? Depraved young woman...depraved!! I can't believe you actually weighed your fun bags!!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Wow, lol. What it must take to have someone ask these questions =-)

Eve.E.B. said...

lol this one is a bit weirder then the last one lol there are strange people out there lol
and yeah its the eve.e.b. girl
sorry my comments didn't work I fixed it... I think xP

keep up the blogging!its awesome lol

Chicken said...

I am so glad you weighed the ladies. I've always assumed that mine were at least 5lbs combined. But, thanks to you I can make a more educated assumption. Who knows maybe you'll be kidnapped one day and they'll say "If you can tell the weight of your boobs we'll let you go" You'd be home before dinner!

Rob said...

Wow, somem pretty graphic stuff. I hope this guy, if it's just one guy asking all those questions, gets the help he needs. Interesting post though. Sorry that guy has problems.

1 who has been changed said...

Well it is clear that men love darkness rather than light and even a quick glance at ?s reveals that. Such is the time we live in, people live as if this is it, but don't think about the ramifications of being wrong. God loves us & sent His son Jesus the Christ to die for our sins because there is judgment for sin to come. We have choice to believe it or not, however if we chose wrong we must not forget life is short but eternity is forever. We need to make informed choice, read Bible starting with book of John so at least know what is coming if wrong.

Another David said...

you are braver than me. if half those questions had shown up in my inbox i would have ignored them haha