Now when you see these pictures you'll feel like signing up for a version of "Pimp My Ride" but for houses. And I would love that. Because at the moment? I am so pissed off at this laundry room. I am also angry at the fact that my super duper handy husband is able to do AMAZING things with other peoples houses but this is what I get. Really? I think I should be using the deluxe model but here I am. With a hoopty laundry room.
So let me start you with a little story. When we bought the house (5 years ago this May) this room did not look like this. For the most part. But one day I told Matt that one of the ceiling tiles looked weird. Like it was bubbled kind of. It's the cheapy things that interlock from Menards which we all know is the ghetto of all hardware and home improvement places. I hate Menards. And the guy we bought the house from worked at Menards so EVERYTHING he tried to fix was with Menards stuff. Not good. Ever the dutiful husband, Matt takes down the one tile. Then proceeded to rip off the entire fucking ceiling.
When I walk in I believe my exact response was, "Holy shit- what the fuck are you doing?! We have no money to replace this. I just wanted to know what was up with the one tile". His response? "It was hard to stop at one." WHAT?! It's not like you are taking a hit of crack here. It's a ceiling. *sigh* So this is my ceiling, 5 years later. Still. I can always tell when someone flushes the toilet upstairs since those are the plumbing things for it. Nice. (So if you come here and don't flush or wash your hands---I know)
But not so fast, lambs! The plumbing is fucked up proper. It has never been updated. So we're talking about shit that will fall apart when you try to do anything to it. Which means the pipes (that run under the house in the crawlspace) need to be replaced. Is it just me or do you think it's a reasonable assumption Matt will fuck this up? His track record with our house is not so great. If this were someone else's house, he'd do it up perfectly. AND make them a fabulous custom cupboard. No, I get shit. And possibly a plumbing bill in the thousands. Yay.
The floor is horrible peel and stick tile (side note- retailers? STOP SELLING THIS SHIT. It's awful.) and I know that I will get relegated to pulling it up which I am sure it will result in chemical burns on my arms from teh adhesive just like what happened with the kitchen floor. At least I get to use tools! Matt never lets me use tools. YAY!
So here it is. We're at a critical point. I need a functioning laundry room. My cats have decided they don't like and are now pissing on the wall. So I am cleaning the corner every hour. It's got to stop. My hands smell like bleach. People don't even ask anymore. (Weird fact- I have a very weird "thing" about smells. My house HAS to smell good. It's either fruity or cinnamon. I am a maniac when it comes to how my house smells. Which is why I'll never be on Hoarders.)
Would you like to donate? Help out? LET ME KNOW. :) HAHA!! (kinda serious, actually. ) :)
11 comments:
oh hon...feel better.
your sink kind of reminds me of a fish-cleaning station. maybe if you ever take up the hobby of fishing....
were i not about five billion miles away, i would totally help you out on re-flooring that (...so far i'm up to four rooms that i've done in hardwood...some of the knowledge stuck). on the upside(if you ignore the 100 year old plumbing), most of the damage looks like it's cosmetic), so it should be rather easy to fix. slap up some drywall, paint it to a non-piss related color, and it'll be beautiful. well...for a laundry room.
buttercup yellow, maybe?
I know all about the old house pos pain. My house could be really cute if someone actually cared (besides me). My laundry is out in the unattached garage that is pretty much missing the whole back wall and is now leaking in the middle. I should take some pictures...
Hey, wanted to say u r a woman I can relate too!!! Love this BLOG!! http://nikkizrants.blogspot.com/ come by anytime...
Yikes! Yep, you have definite cause for a rant. The basement of our house is finished, but plain and unused, and that drives me crazy - so I can see how you must be going insane with that setup!
I've gotta admit, though, as crappy and inoperable as your laundry sink may be ... it's kinda neat knowing it's an original to the house. Do you ever, like, imagine who used it back in the day, and what their life must have been like? I totally would. :)
What really sad is that I LOVE watching fixer upper home shows but I don't think I retain ANYTHING from them. The people on the show make it look SO EASY but I know if I tried to do anything they showed me I'd fail. Miserably.
@Nyx- YES! it'll be buttercup yellow with a light sage green accent and as a smaller accent- cobalt blue. Like my front porch. Which is now in shambles. Will post on that soon.
@Julie- anything leaking freaks me out.
@Nikki- will check out your blog!
@Rita- If the sink was in good condition and taken care of through the years I would have kept it. BUT..obviously I can't.
@Krysten- I love Color Splash with David Bromstad. It makes me wish I knew a gay to help me out. For real.
EEK! You need a new laundry room ASAP! I do like the sink, kinda cool. Tell him to get to cracking.
My ex husband was great at starting projects, and horrible at finishing them.
We bought this house in 1985 and there are still things that are not done that he started!
As for your cats, I have one that will pee outside the box if he gets mad at one of the other cats. I have found that Simple Solution works great, and even has a decent smell.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=simple+solution&x=0&y=0
Chin up!
SheilaC
(PS having only recently found your blog, just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh almost every day.... NOT that I am laughing at your home dis-repair! With that I am empathizing!)
take care
I was waiting for Ty Pennington to jump through the door on the pic with electric box saying that you guys were getting the extreme home makeover....lol....maybe you could crop him in the pic somehow.
Sounds like the plight of the contractor's wife - to always have the falling downest of all the houses.
At least that's how it was growing up at my place. That and living in all the remnants from my dad's jobs.
I'm thankful we don't have this Menards you speak of, because I'm sure we'd have lived amongst it during childhood otherwise.
See if Xzibit or whoever does Pimp My Ride can come do your laundry room. Even with hydraulics, it'd be an improvement.
;)
I HATE owning a house! I could live in an aparment for the rest of my life!
I could say that I am where you are. We have no money to fix anything and it seems our house is falling about as I type.
At least your husband can fix things (it sounds like he is lazy). Jeremy can't even hang a ceiling fan. When he does it takes 16 hours. No lie.
I would say be thankful that you have a laundry room...I have a closet. No lie.
Post a Comment