Monday, February 22, 2010

What Helps On A Bad Day? Tool, Motherfuckers

So before I get into my post about my love for Tool I'm going to talk a bit about my day. Not the entire day because honestly even though I was at work today it was decent. No huge problems, crisis situations, etc. I did get one bummer call about a volunteer and I can't lie- they may be volunteers but you get close with some of them and it's hard. And I'm working with seniors and my first funeral that I actually attended was for a volunteer. And I troll obits first thing in the morning.

BUT. My day was ok there. It was when I got home that it went to shit in a handbasket. I realized that we were having sandwiches because hi--I forgot to go grocery shopping. Ok, that's a lie, I just didn't want to go. So after eating a shittastic dinner and putting kids to bed, starting laundry, paying the bills online, balancing checkbook, planning meals for the next week, making a list, getting coupons, I set out. I was crabby. No lie. So I put in a Tool cd and rocked out on the way to store. I battled the losers at the store. I get all the way checked out ... no wallet. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! So I had to suspend my order, drive all the way home (which is of course on the other end of town), get my wallet, drive all the way back.

But they put my stuff away. So I had to re-shop. Go through the line. Again. I check out and was pumped to see I spent only $42.01 on a week of groceries (lunch/dinner for M-F and all three meals AND dessert for Saturday and Sunday). Bow down bitches.

So I put it all away real quick, change out of my work clothes, start my radio stream for Mr. O's radio show, get on fuckmill. Fuckmill kicked my ass. Hard. I haven't done it since Thursday because I was busy, gone, not here, walking my ass off at the mall (both Saturday and Sunday for three hours each...that counts for something), etc. I hardly even ate anything so that somehow balances out. Right?

Sure it does. But overall this was kind of a blah day. I didn't feel like I got anything done even though I was busy from 5 a.m. until now...8:27 p.m. I'm exhausted, I am starving, and now my legs hurt. *sigh*

Anyways. So Tool. I actually fell in love with Tool in 1997 and I first heard their Undertow record. I was like a freshman in high school and was introduced by someone who was blaring it on their Discman. I also love me some James Maynard Keenan. He's hot and has a really great voice. (hang on..I'm swooning)

Sober Vid:

In 1998 I "spent the night" with a friend for the weekend. Where I was actually at OzzFest in Someset, Wisconsin. I went specifically for Tool because I really wanted to see them, it was a fairly cheap ticket for me and I had older friends willing to go with me. So I had a friend (names not to be revealed..because they don't want to be famous. Whatevs, yo) who loved James as much as I did. So there was a pretty good break between the band before them so we run up like fucking idiots next to the stage.

The stage had a giant gong on it and I'm thinking, "Oh my god- we are so badass." People, hoards of people are coming at us. I was starting to get nervous, but I'm thinking I'm 16, rocking my appropriate hard rock chick wear, my ass kickin' boots, I'm fine.


When they opened with "Sober" friend and I were crushed up against the chain link fence. There are like big huge guys on the other side just watching as we are literally crushed against this fence. I'm trying to be cool and continue rocking out except my breathing is a little more labored. Me and my 5'3 (at the time) 120 pound frame is really no match for huge fucking guys in a mosh pit. But the bouncer guys were like, "wave if you can't breathe". Nice.

But it was ok because James was like RIGHT THERE, I could feel sweat, lambs. James' sweat. It was fine. I made it through their whole set without dying. I had bruises on my entire left side of my body and face of fence. Makeup does wonders, yall.

Fast forward to 2001 and they are touring for Lateralus. This time it's at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul. I buy Matt & I tickets for $90 a piece, this time? Balcony. This lambwhore leader? Learns new tricks.

Let me tell you something- if you ever get a chance to see Tool--- you must go. They are FABULOUS to see live. If you happen to be high, I've heard it's better. But I'm a good girl and I'll take the stoner's word for it. Matt was really freaked out at all of the violence in the pit but it was worth it. What I like about Tool is that even though James is the lead singer- you won't catch him at the front of the stage. He's on the side. Which I think is cool because it's like they all look like the lead.

But here is another Tool video. :)

So how do these two seemingly random things tie together? Because when I have a bad day I listen to Tool. I pull my cd's out, turn them up loudly and jump around. I have my own little one person mosh pit in my room. It kind of freaks the cats out but them humping blankets freak me out so I figure it's a wash. And while grocery shopping I had Tool pumping on the iPod and when I finally made it through the line for the second time, the checkout kid, some kid named Walter was like, "Props on rocking out to 'Hooker with a Penis'." The first person to EVER name the song and actually like it. So I'm like, "No- props to you checkout guy with cool glasses and excellent musical tastes". (Anybody else have the theme song to that beer commerical "Real American Heroes"?)


Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Hmm... I've never actually listened to Tool. I had an ex who does but he's also the type of guy that's all "bigger, faster stronger" and a huge meathead. Why did I date him? Anyway, maybe I'll give them a shot.

And you need to teach me how to grocery shop. Seriously.

Jandy xx said...

Dude! I LOVE me some Tool!, and some Rage against the Machine for that matter! Under this sweet innocent exterior is a bad ass- somewhere!!! I can.not.stop. laughing at youtr "prps to you" convo with the checkout boy!!! hope youre day gets better sweet pea xx

Steph said...

Have you heard the Tool CD that's an orchestra? It's pretty awesome.

Organic Meatbag said...

I honestly don't know much about tool and I don't know any of their music but I know Danny Carey is a good drummer, because I've heard him play with other people... you see, I'm dead set in my ways of sticking with my 70's and 80's music... by all rights, I should have died in 1987 or so...

Anonymous said...

Tool is the awesomest......I have had a secret one sided love affair with Maynard James Keenan since about 1994. I had Undertow on TAPE and played it so much that the words came off the tape. I am currently on my third Undertow CD because they eventually just stop working in my CD player.

Funny....I did a whole "10 favorite artists/bands list on my personal blog and I listed Maynard James as #10 as an individual because I also love Perfect Circle. Check it out if you get a chance:

Love your blog and always look forward to your posts!

Sara Strand said...

@Krysten- a post is coming about the shopping and what my weekly menu looks like. ;)

@jprp- jandy!! Even more reason to love you!

@Steph- YES! I have heard it, but don't have it. Loves it.

@Meatbag- Danny Carey is also hot. Hot=Good Drummer.

@Amber- Undertow is an amazing cd. I love your list as well but I do have to say I don't really care for Primus. I just could never really get into them. But I do love A Perfect Circle. The song 3libras is so hauntingly perfect. I "got" the lyrics the first time I heard it and it actually brought a tear to my eye because I could identify with it. I could go on forever about both bands. HAHA!

Chicken said...

I do love me some Tool. You know how a song can bring you back to a momment in time? Whenever I hear Stinkfist it reminds me of being stuck in the car with 4 other girls lost on our way to Lilith Fair. The one time I was in the pit (not during lilith fair) some drunk dude landed on my head, got up and started cursing at me for not catching him...nevermind you he outweighed me by well over 100lbs...dumbass.

Anonymous said...

so the other day i'm at the grocery store buying some sugar cookie mix and a giant bottle of wine. i have brought exactly one twenty-dollar bill and car keys with me. OF COURSE this is the one time they ask for my id. i say, i don't have it with me, but i live LITERALLY five minutes away, i'll be right back...

... when i get back? no sugar cookie mix. no wine. nothing's waiting for me.

would it have killed them to wait fifteen minutes before deciding i was some underage kid who got busted without an id to restock my treasures? i don't think so.

allena said...

**sigh... Maynard James Keenan... Yes, I whole-heartedly agree with you on your sentiments regarding this amazing man. Anyway, I have seen Tool twice as well. The most recent being after 10,000 Days came out, and I was rockin in the balcony 6 months pregnant! Yes, my youngest son has technicallly been to a Tool concert. (Maybe he will brag about that someday... Maybe he'll be embarassed- time will tell.) I have so many memories that are directly linked to various Tool songs. And a lot of mine actually were from while I was high- lol! (And the stoners didn't lie, btw, haha.)

Gini said...

The one and only time I was crushed against a chain link like that was at Rockfest...where I saw Kid Rock. Please do not underestimate my shame at this. I went up there bc I was drunk and met a random cute guy and also I wanted to see if I could touch the midget's hand. I instead nearly got my ribcage smashed. But the midget was funny.