Monday, April 19, 2010

Am I an astrological failure or winner?

So this is a post I wanted to do around my birthday but things got in the way and well- I'm a busy chick, yo.

I think we all remember my birthday and every day I remind you of my awesomeness so I think it's safe to say that your Lamb Whore and Goat Slut leader is a Pisces. And people always think I'm an Aries which bleh. No offense, but I know a few Aries peeps and I think I'm cooler than them. But how do I compare to other Pisces? If I can't succeed at marriage then I hope I can succeed at being a Pisces. Because technically I shouldn't have to do any work. This shit should come naturally.

After doing approximately 37 seconds of research on Google I found a really comprehensive profile of a Pisces woman. Let's compare, shall we?

Pisces Strength Keywords: Compassionate, Adaptable, Accepting, Devoted, Imaginative
Pisces Weakness Keywords: Oversensitive, Indecisive, Self-pitying, Lazy, Escapist

OK so I think the strength ones are pretty spot on. I mean I'm compassionate, I go with the flow, and once I am your friend I'm stuck you like fungus. In a good way. My weakness? OK- I will admit to being oversensitive, indecisive, and escapist. But there is no way in hell I'm lazy or self pitying. I am probably the most productive person I know and I don't self pity. I just don't understand why my parade is always the one to be shit on.

Pisces and Independence:Pisces needs a dominant partner of role model in their life or they will very easily fall into a pit of self-pity and self-undoing. When they are independent and inspired by life's events, their creativity comes shining through but they are unable to be on their own for long before they start dreaming in their imaginary world of happy people and happy endings. They need other people to keep them grounded and on the right track.

Hmm..I would prefer to have a dominant partner, actually. Matt is pretty quiet, submissive and will never tell me if I'm pissing him off even though I know I am. And I will agree that I suck at being single. In fact I was only single for a few weeks between my only 3 boyfriends (JR-John-Matt). I am much better in a relationship. Thank god I have some kick ass friends.

Pisces and Friendship:Pisces will go out of their way to help a friend. They are extremely sensitive and loyal. They will take a friend's problem and make it their own and suffer with them. This is the weak spot of Pisces but any friend of this zodiac sign should know that although they are attracted to people with severe problems who desperately need help, this actually does more harm them good. They need a strong positive friend to make them strong. Pisces like adventure, new situation and social events. A Pisces friend will always have something exciting in mind and it is a very fulfilling, long lasting friendship.

Totally agree. All of my friends have issues, and I like to help out in any way I can. I will go broke if I think my friends can use money more than me. I will pay people's way even if I can't afford it- I make it work. I think my friends will agree that I can make any situation fun, I'm a very kick ass and awesome friend, and I always have a story to tell.

Pisces and Business: Pisces does not take well to a position of leadership or high business person, they are too sensitive and lacking in self-discipline and lacking self-confidence for a positions such as that. What they are good at is is writing, acting, poetry, or being musicians. They are extremely creative and can use their skills of creativity and their understanding of people to inspire others. Unfortunately, most Pisces take the easy way out in life and never attain the degree of fame that they possibly could, they have to stop self-doubting themselves because they are capable of being good role models and leaders to others, people do look up to them.

Oh fo' sho', bitches. I'm creative and I'm good at a lot of things. I have a lot of interests and I could never narrow down my career path to one field, it was always a mix of writer-singer (I can't sing worth shit but not for lack of trying)-geologist-astronomer-professional organizer-etc. My problem is I am always doubting myself.

Pisces Deep Inside: Pisces have an intuitive and psychic ability more then any other zodiac signs. They trust their gut feelings and if they do not, they quickly learn to because they realize that their hunches are usually correct. Pisces downfall is their sensitivity and their inability to reject another person. They do not like rejection and they try to treat others the way they want to be treated so they will rarely say no to a person for fear of hurting their feelings. They will help another person with their problems and like to do so because making others feel good in turn makes them feel good. Pisces is the zodiac sign of self-undoing. People born under this zodiac sign are not susceptible to bad luck and unfortunate events, they bring them on themselves by overindulging, laziness and a knack for picking poorly suited partners and friends. The inner conflict of Pisces is extremes of temperament and conflicting emotions. They are trying to pinpoint themselves on the real world while their spiritual world can cloud their vision, they will try to escape or avoid a situation instead of confronting it.

Hilariously and fucking creepily accurate.

Pisces Erogenous Zone:The feet are the most sensitive spot for Pisces. Massaging the feet and sucking on toes are usually Pisces favorite and will get them steamed up and ready for action.

Please god don't ever suck my toes. This grosses me out to no end. Massage? Yes, please. But the spot that gets me almost instantly ready? The side of my stomach.

Sex With Pisces: Sex with Pisces is an emotional and physical experience, and if you allow it, it will be a spiritual experience as well. They like to seduce. Pisces likes risque encounters and offbeat activities. A very fun partner for those who like different encounters and physical sex.

Um, I am totally not going to go into THIS a whole bunch but I think it's safe to say this is totally accurate. I actually enjoy having sex, a lot, but I don't need it. I'd like to have lots but I'm ok if I don't. Case in point: 4 months. We'll leave it at that. ;)

What it's Like to Date a Pisces Woman: Pisces women are very captivating and fascinating. She makes a man feel like a man because of her need for a protector and leader. She is charming, soft and feminine. The ultimate enchantress. She can see right through a man and she is not easy to fool, so any man better be straight with her and not lead her on, because instead of confronting him, she will simply disappear. She needs to nurture and will give the man orders, but only for his own good. She will make sure he is eating properly and getting enough sleep, sort of like a mother nurturing a child. What she needs in return is a man to protect and cherish her, make her feel like she is needed and loved. She might almost be clingy and dependent but never overbearingly. Her partner will become of better half. She needs patience and sympathy and you have to be gentle with her. Don't poke fun or tease and definitely do not reject her harshly because she can't stand rejection. She is extremely romantic and will lose herself in the relationship. The Pisces woman is the ultra feminine nurturer, the ideal woman for the right man.

OK- I agree with almost all of this. But in no way am I clingy. No way. Do I like to spend time with my man? Absolutely. Am I heartbroken if he has friends and chooses to see them? No. In fact I like to have my space and if the guy has friends and needs to get out? THANK YOU. Because I don't like a clingy guy.

I think overall I am an astrological winner. I am pretty spot on with what a Pisces should be. So how would you compare to this? Are we similar or way different??


Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Oh my gosh... I am a TOTAL virgo. Like, down to the last letter. It's actually creepy.

My aunt actually gave me 3 great books on astrology and love signs and if you and your partner matches up. I should actually see about Dustin and me, lol.

Jandy xx said...

awesome post! where did you get the info... i wanna play too!

Ann said...

So, first off, I'm an with it. :P Although we are quite different, I still think we'd get along well.

Here's what my 10 seconds of Googling got me:
Strengths: Independent, Generous, Optimistic, Enthusiastic, Courageous
Weaknesses: Moody, Short tempered, Self-involved, Impulsive, Impatient

I agree with most of those, except optimistic, self-involved, and impatient (I've worked really hard on that one and have gained TONS more patience in over a decade of teaching).

Caity said...

Wow, it's pretty crazy just how spot on astrology can be sometimes. This post was super interesting! I am a Taurus. I should look it up sometime.

Danielle said...

This was awesome! I really enjoyed reading it! I think you got the "good" qualities of a pisces so good for you! Some of them I was reading and thinking, damn that doesn't sound like my girl Sara but I was happy you felt the same! hhahaha! I agree with jprp I want to play too! Do share where you got this info! :) Have a great day girl! xoxo

Another David said...

I don't know, Sara, those things are pretty vague. Compare how you match up to that with some other Zodiac, you might be surprised.

Blue Disastrous said...

Okay, everything about your Pisces-ness describes me almost completely. And I'm a Cancer. Let's Google "research" Cancers (which I apparently cannot spell today).

Cancer Positive Traits:
Loving and Emotional
Shrewd and cautious
Sensitive and nurturing
Intuitive as well as imaginative
Sympathetic and Protective

Cancer Negative Traits:
Indecisive and moody
Over-emotional and sensitive
Clinging and possessive

All very true. And okay, I just spent twenty minutes reading a HUGE long page and everything is so true. WHAA?! I thought I tried to live to be different.. Apparently not. Hehe.
And unfortunately, everything under the title of "Worst Match for Cancer: Aries" is true. D:
Oh dear.

Chicken said...

Did I ever tell you that your toes look like little olives just waiting to be picked and licked?

Sara said...

LOL at Chicken's comment. That was one worthy of letting thru. hahahah!

I'm an Aries married to a Scorpio. It's amazing we even mesh. Astrologically I'm pretty spot on with an Aries. Stubborn is my middle name, but it seems I have some characteristics of a Pisces. Interesting.

Nikolett said...

That comment above just made me LOL to no end, as did your post. Definitely thing you're creative, non-clingy, and a person who appreciates massages but no toe-sucking :D I'm a Virgo but I was born 10 days over my due date so I should have been a Leo ... I find myself maybe a combination of both? Because I might be a perfectionist, I am definitely NOT modest or shy, at all.

By the way, I sent you a much overdue e-mail with a lamb and a goat on it ;)

Katie McCoach said...

haha it's alot of fun to compare yourself with these things. its weird how spot on they can be. have you checked out your chinese year animal one? I'm a dragon and its 100% me. now your post has made me want to go check out what mine says haha

Katie McCoach said...

i lied. im a snake. which is awesome. go here...

THAT will at least tell you which animal you are.

good luck! im curious if it matches!