Monday, August 16, 2010

Early Years of Sara. School Pictures.

So a few weeks ago I mentioned I had no idea what to do for posts. And one reader, Ann, suggested I vagina up and post school pictures from back in the day. OK, so she didn't say it like that exactly but I could tell from the undertone of her reply. OK, so there probably wasn't an undertone but I felt it was a challenge anyways.

Before we get into this, I don't have them all. My mom gave me what she had without digging through a million and three boxes. And I want you to note the following:

1. My mom did not have a lot of money so the fact that I don't look like a complete ass in *some* of these pictures is huge.
2. I apparently was always huge into accessories.

Let us begin.

ooh..the moody two face picture.! I remember this dress and LOVING the trim. And you can't see them well but I totally have two bright red barrettes holding my adorable pony tail in. Unnecessary to some but obviously necessary for me. What's WEIRD is that my profile? Looks EXACTLY like Jackson. But in Kindergarten I had Mrs. Moore. She was super fat. Like SUPER fat. My mom said she wasn't but I remember Mrs. Moore not being able to really move much. But our class was the Penguin class so everything in there was penguin related. We were next door to the Flamingos (the teacher had a flamingo tattoo on her foot and I'd just stare at it during movie time) and the Owls (where the bad kids were- they never got to come out from around the curtain.)

Grade 1:
Watch out- lasers, bitches! Kidding. I don't remember this dress but I DO remember my mom doing my hair that morning. Mostly because my hair was shoulder length and my mom pinned it so it looked shorter. And I remember that my hair was really thick, warranting the use of one of my mom's barrettes on the top. I had no front teeth and was totally aware of that. I don't know what the fuck happened to my top lip, yo. Where is it?! But I had Mrs. Hogan who I absolutely LOVED. She had these cool pens with stamps on the end that she'd stamp on your paper if you were cool. And it wasn't some regular stamp- it was a stamp of HER FACE! And it said, "Way to Go!". Oh god- I remember wanting to be a teacher just for a stamp like that.

Grade 2:
Look- I'm so smart I have beams of knowledge coming from my entire body! Ugh. I hated that year of school. I had Mrs. Daniels and she was really lame. I also sat next to a girl who wrote impossibly small and I wondered why she couldn't just use up the entire line like the rest of us. Also of importance was the fact that there were a LOT of black kids in my class. I remember being the only white kid in that half of the room. That was weird because I couldn't understand them and they couldn't understand me. And one boy would try to tell me I should color on myself. Whatever yo.

Grade 3:
Oh my god! Let me tell you about this! OK, so see that bracelet on my hand? Yeah. It's not a bracelet. It's a plastic shower curtain ring! I'm dead fucking serious. My mom would NOT let me wear jewelry that day and that's so oppressive. I wasn't having any of that. We had to make some kind of diorama for school and mine sucked because my parents had no money, so seeing as how my mom worked at a gas station I had to use anything from the gas station food area (you know- roller hot dog area) for it. So I took a shower curtain ring thinking I could maybe use that but it fell off my diorama (which I failed at because hello---you can't glue straws together using white glue and expect it to hold) and I used the ring as a bracelet. And didn't tell mom. Oh boy was she pissed to see that in my pictures! Fucking ingenious if you ask me. I was in 3 different schools in third grade but this was still in Florida. I hated the teacher, a Russian lady named Mrs. K. Ugh. But I had shoulder pads in my dress so that made everything ok.

Grade 4:
This was a horrible year. I was living in Cloquet, MN and the kids all hated me. I had a southern accent, I didn't know what the fuck "pop" was, and I didn't understand why they called school lunch "hot lunch". I pretty much had no friends until sixth grade and then I had one. I don't know- I just couldn't make friends that I didn't get annoyed with. But I hated this sweater. Straight from Pamida. Ugh. I remember my mom saying, "They look like snowflakes!" which apparently would be "adorable" for school. NOT SO MUCH, MOM. This sweater probably had something to do with my lack of friends.

Grade 7:
I had made one really awesome friend in seventh grade, and her name was Jessica. I'm still in touch with her from time to time but she made my 7th grade not suck. We used to twirl baton in her driveway every day in the summer. That was the year the show Friends made it big and Seal's "Kiss From A Rose" was huge. Oh god. Every time I hear that song or the theme from Friends I think of Jessica. But this picture was awful. Just a week before my mom wanted me to get my hair cut. I had no say in my hair and this is what happened. Look at that. I remember crying for HOURS that I looked like my Grandma Linda, who at the time, had hair JUST LIKE THIS. Seriously- it's like a fancy mullet. Ugh. I tried to make up for it with my peace earrings and my necklace you can't see.

Grade 8:
I got to use hairspray in 8th grade. My bangs took the worst of it. But I loved this shirt- it was a mock turtleneck short sleeve blue one. LOVED it. It made my boobs look awesome. Even in 8th grade I knew what was what. We had moved to Superior, WI the summer before 8th grade and once again, I started in a new town with no friends. And it never got better because if you don't live in Superior from birth- you don't really exist. Plus the girls at Central Junior High were AWFUL to me. I mean, truly. Had bullying been something people talked about back then I would have been a textbook case. Boys were fine- it was the girls. Nobody would talk to me, I remember having to have lunch by myself because nobody knew anything about me. I had moved around too much and my parents didn't know anybody elses parents, etc. Awful.

Grade 9
Senior High- baby. Oh good. I remember this was taken during orientation, which is called Spartan Camp here. My friend Allena and I went, I had spent the night before at her house. We spent all morning getting ready only to be greeted with huge gusts of wind the walk to the high school. So yeah- that's the best I could do with my long, thick, wavy hair in humidity back then. Oy. But my mom was starting to let me wear hoops so I totally did. Oh- and my necklace that had a hammered piece of silver with a Pisces sign on it. I miss that one.

Grade 10:
Oh my god. I loved, loved, loved this shirt. It was silky blue and had little squares with dots in the middle all over it. You can also see my bra through it. I was so bad ass. Allena still lived here (note my half of the ying yang necklace- we were BFF's, yo) so we went together again. I spent the night before again and I remember us JAMMING out to Smashing Pumpkins and then watching all the shows of Alternative Nation she was able to tape onto VHS from MTV. She had figured out how to get the music onto a cassette tape and made us the most kick ass mix tapes. Garbage, Bush, Prodigy, Radiohead, The Toadies, oh man. Good times. I was SURE 10th grade was going to be the best year ever. And it was in a lot respects, even after Allena moved to Texas.

OK- so that's what I've got. I'll post my grad pictures on Friday, in honor of my 10 year high school reunion.

Schedule for this week is as follows:
Tuesday- book review (please, please, please tune in for this. It's going to get personal up in here)
Wednesday- school stories
Thursday- another book review (this is also super good)
Friday- grad pictures (we're skipping DBF this week. Sorry.)

Yay! So which of my school pictures was your favorite?? It's weird to look back and think I haven't changed a whole bunch. :)


Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

You are a BRAVE woman Sara. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't post my school pictures on my blog even if I could find them. Some are just a little too embarrassing.

Jennifer Kay said...

Grade 8 fo sho! Despite the hair spray you look super pretty in that pic. Did you never rat your bangs so they stood pretty much straight up!?!?!?

____j said...

My favorite pic is definitely the first one. I LOVE that there is a silhouette of you being all serious and for some reason reminds me of anchor man? LOL.

Annah said...

Um Grade 1!!!! Cutest little chicken dumpling ever! :)

Ang said...

I think grade 1 is my favorite.. you look like a little angel. However... going forward from there they get pretty funny... especially with your commentary!
I may have to copy this idea.. it's pretty stellar!

Chicken said...

The further I scrolled down the better it got! School pictures are always a riot.

Morgan said...

Dude I wish I went to Central, or you went to East. I also moved to Soupy summer before 8th grade and had a choice to which one I went to since I lived just off of Hill. We would have been besties from out of town.

Have fun this weekend - sure wish I was coming!

Sadako said...

Aw, so freaking cute!

Julie H said...

This is a cute idea! I like your 8th grade picture, it's really cute :)

Anonymous said...

Love the school pictures!! Hey, they were a lot better than mine. I looked like an alien in most of mine.

Another David said...

things that are totally rad about this post:
1) those beams of light that every motherfucking picture had in the 90s.
2) SHOWER CURTAIN RING/BRACELET??? straight up ballaaaaa
3) you look exactly the same now as you do in the 8th grade picture