Wednesday, August 18, 2010

School Memories. Oh yes- I'm going there.

So on Monday we took a little job down memory lane with my school pictures and I promised some stories. And to be honest, I have loads. I have a lot of really not so happy moments from school and I could make this an entire week long process. But I won't.

Because my insurance doesn't cover therapy.

And so I'm going to just go off the top of my head. These will be in no order, I'll just type them as they pop into my head. Grab some popcorn and a 40 O.E and let's go.

1. 7th grade: This is the year I got my period. It was a horrible experience. I heard rumors that some girls got it in sixth grade and they even carried tampons in their pockets and wore sweat pants to school. I thought FOR SURE it won't happen to me. Maybe I don't have ovaries and this is all just a bad dreams. Clearly girls were lying when they told me about it. Um, no. Very much not lying. It started off in homeroom- which happened to be in a band room for me. I had sharp, stabbing pain and thought I was dying. I knew my mom would not let me come home because unless I was throwing up more than once an hour- my ass was in school. Two hours later I went to the bathroom and my underwear was totally brown. I was pretty sure I didn't shit myself, but my underwear is telling me SOMETHING has happened. I made hourly visits and it just got worse and worse. I got home and panicked. What was I going to tell my mom? Her 13 year old is shitting herself?! So I finally sucked it up and told her I had "an issue". She saw my problem and promptly showed me where "the supplies" were and told me their were instructions. Mortifying. Because I had to go to school for the week and guess what week it was? Swim week. Obviously. Because my body hates me. Let's just say there was a moment when the string was visible. And I'm leaving it at that.

2. 10th grade. The time I broke my nose in gym class. Everybody in every class thought this was hilarious. For three months.

3. In third or fourth grade we lived way out in the country in Cloquet, MN. I had to ride the bus for almost an hour by the time they got to our stop so it really sucked. But I remember once I was getting off the bus so you have to walk all the way down from the back to the front- where the high school kids sat. And one boy, who I don't remember, pulled my pants AND underwear down. I was mortified, OBVIOUSLY. I remember running down the dirt road just crying my eyes out, and my dad would not let me go to my room and die until I told him what happened. So eventually he went to the school to bitch them out about the bus driver not doing anything. I can't remember if I ever saw that kid again.

4. Kindergarten. Oh man. So in Kindergarten we played a whole bunch of games that I sucked at. I seriously suck at all games, all sports, pretty much anything organized- I suck at it. This means school was often a shameful experience for me because I sucked at everything. Except for Pickleball in high school gym class. THAT I could do. Anyways. In Kindergarten there was this game where you'd sit on a chair in the front of the class and hold this big, lamenated poster up and put your head through the hole. You could ask yes or no questions and the class would answer you, but ultimately you had to guess what you were. Because the poster had a picutre of something. I remember one time I was grapes and I couldn't figure it out. And every kid, and the teacher, told me I was basically stupid. I cried and that was the last day I had a lunch buddy in Kindergarten. It was awful.

5. 7th grade- Sex Ed class. I actually loved sex ed. I thought it was the best class out of the whole day. I knew I'd like sex someday but my favorite part was the secret question box. Because obviously, immature 13 year old's don't have the balls to ask questions, so we had the super secret box that you could put your question in and the teacher would answer. I remember someone asking if having a baby was like pooping. And I dont' know what the answer was but that question stayed with me my whole life. And I remember, while having Olivia, thinking- yes! Having a baby IS like pooping! Only bigger and more painful! That kid is probably an OB/GYN now.

6. 8th Grade. I had just moved to Superior, and I immediately hated Central Junior High. On the first day a boy named Willy was flirting with me. Without using my brain I blurt out, "I have a dog named Willie." Willy never talked to me again. I still feel bad about that, but I think he's a drug dealer now so I made the right choice there. 

So that's all for tonight. I'll try to think of more for Friday's post. :) I have had a migraine coming on for three days and it's finally here. YAY. So I"m going to take my shower, take a pill, grab an ice pack and hit the bed. Here's hoping tomorrow I'm feeling better. I work at 8 in the morning and I'm not used to waking up before 7. Let's hope I'm not in a drug haze when I wake up, huh??


Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Ugh. I do not miss those days AT ALL. I got my period the summer before 7th grade and I remember in 7th grade I wrote a note to a friend telling her I did and she LOST THE NOTE (who the F does that?) and some jerk boys found it and teased me FOREVER. Such jerks.

The Insatiable Host said...

Grade school I got made fun of for having lynx running shoes. Also for crappingy pants in grade school but just recently that haunted me. From the till now nothing. In middleschool I was a virgin like most 12 year olds were but I got made fun of. Then I lost the v-gangster and was popular. In highschool I dated an uncool guy whoade friends with all my friends then caught him cheating on me with my best friend (who I lived with at the time) a d wasade fun of for that

what I am trying to say. Is that I should have go e into the wit ess protection plan or somethig. Maybe evn turned to drugs cuz for being a nice person;good friend it gets you no whew in this world

love the memory lane. Also sorry for spelling errors I'm learning to use my iPod to type

Asha said...

lol...I'm glad you can laugh about all of the asshole-ish things kids did to you. Those kids probably grew up to live in some trailer park with cankles and/or beerguts.

Ang said...

It's easy to say you have a great memory, but I think most of us remember all the bad things anyways.

Hopefully life is better for you now :)

Jandy xx said...

oh wow, i could so do a post like this, I remember once, lining up for lunch and the boy behind me set my pony tail on fire! ohh god, so many stories!

Chicken said...

What?! Hahaha I don't even know which one to comment on!

Anonymous said...

"I have a dog named Willie"

I want that shit on a fucking t-shirt, dude.

Stacey said...

You were amazing at pickleball! Best partner ever!

Julie H said...

UGH sounds like your school years sucked :(

Another David said...

Sounds like pretty standard embarrassing experiences for a girl. guys always have that one time when they had an awkward boner but had to stand up for some reason. yep. it sucks.

i hope one day you tell olivia that when you were giving birth you realized that it is, in fact, like pooping. thus comparing your daughter to shit.