Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Let's talk about what drives Sara.... bananas.

First off, I don't like the word "bananas" but I find myself saying it a lot. I don't know why, I just am. It's weird.

Anyways. So I don't know if it's because I've boycotted my anti depressant medication (actually, first I was too broke to get it and then that just morphed into being too lazy to go to the drug store and get it... so I'm going without. Matt's thrilled.) or if I'm maybe just getting cranky with age but living with other people is getting to me. Specifically, Matt.

I know one of the tough things about a marriage is not killing each other over time. It will never be all awesome and wonderful and I believe that anyone who told me it would be is not only a liar, but they are probably so far gone there is no hope. Matt and I have lived together for nine years, married for seven of those. And I have to be honest, none of his things bothered me before but they are now. No, scratch that. Some of them bothered me, we've talked about, I felt like we came to an agreement yet nothing changes. Let's go through some examples.

1. His laundry. Folks- I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how angry I am about his laundry. We have two laundry baskets in our house. One is upstairs in the closet NEXT to the bathroom. The other is right next to HIS dresser. It's next to his dresser (despite it being an eyesore and a constant reminder of more housework I need to do) because we agreed that if it was there he'd have no excuse. I also accept laundry to be left in the laundry sink since sometimes he's filthy and just undresses by the back door. Seriously. Call before coming over, people. Anyways. Every single mother fucking day, there is laundry on the bathroom floor, all over our bedroom floor and sometimes, he just leaves it on the laundry room floor. Seriously? How fucking HARD IS IT to just put it in a laundry receptacle? Huh? How hard? So I've taken to no longer picking it up. If it's not in the hamper, it's not getting washed. Do you think Matt cares he's going to work with filthy clothes? No. But it still makes me stabby.

2. His lunchbox. Every single fucking day (that he remembers to pack his own lunch like a big boy and bring it to work) he comes home and leave the fucking thing on the counter. No. I am not a maid. I will not empty out your dirty containers and put your stuff away. No. I'm not doing it. You know why? Because he leaves it RIGHT ABOVE the lower cupboard it goes in. He can't even go two inches further and put the damn thing away.

3. Jokes. I hate jokes. I really, really, really hate jokes. I hate when someone's like, "Oh- here's a good one for ya" because at that very moment I want to stab that person. I have told Matt this easily 7201 times yet he continues to come home with stupid fucking jokes that are never funny then gets mad at me because I don't think they're funny. They aren't. They suck and I'm stabby.

4. Wanting to have sex when I'm drop dead tired. He always, ALWAYS initiates when he knows I'm so effing tired that I can't say no. Which is kind of lame. Because then I can't even enjoy it. So the other night I was like, "Matt- I'm so tired. Seriously. I can't even think right now I'm that tired." His response? "It's OK- you'll fall asleep eventually." Whatta guy. I have a real gentleman, ladies. But on the other hand I'm like, go for it, because I'm too tired to care.

5. He is NOTORIOUS for eating the last of whatever I buy for myself. So, I only like the sour cream & onion Pringles but buy him multiple cans of his favorites, yet he opens and finishes my can first. Or if I buy my favorite ice cream, he will always eat most of the container and then save me literally, a 1/2 cup. What kind of shit is that? I have NEVER  infringed on his snacks. Or desserts. Or anything that I know he would really enjoy eating. Nope.

6. He won't let me get a goat. Or a sheep. I don't think I have to explain how upsetting this is.

7. I also can't get a functioning laundry sink despite him yelling at me for doing laundry which clogs up the existing laundry sink resulting in both of us yelling and scooping out shit from the drain. We do it every three loads, people. Every three loads for SIX YEARS. Trust me when I say I am on the edge of finding the DIY instructions and starting it on my own.

8. When I am cleaning the house like a maniac, I really get pissed off when I get a "Hey- keep up the good work" or an "Atta girl!" from him. Seriously, asshole? I'm about to shove this mop up your asshole and let's see if I can still get an atta girl. If I'm busting my ass, I just don't think it's a lot to ask for someone to you know, do something.

9. For example, if you see I've been cleaning the floors on my knees to make sure I get even streaks (because I'm OCD and I can't help it) please don't walk on the floors until they are dry. Please don't traipse through my kitchen with your muddy shoes covered in grass clippings. I cannot and will not be held accountable for my actions.

10. I also hate when I'm told we're out of something, and it's so very clearly right there where it belongs. Where it has been for the last six years.

So, for those of you who have been married for awhile (or at least living with your partner for awhile) what do they do that drives you nuts? Do you think you do anything that drives them nuts in return? (For Matt, I would say my constant OCD cleaning drives him insane. Or having to have things put away precisely.)


Kitty said...

RAWR. That would indeed make me stabbity. I was brought up to take my shoes off at the door.

Oh if only men would learn to clean up after themselves. -shakes head- I think their women would be a lot less willing to bust a cap in their asses.

Jennifer Kay said...

It's like when I spent too much time together with a girlfriend in high school...we would get along so well if I spent the night but if we spent the entire weekend together, we were at eachother's throats.

Don't think you are alone. Jon's bedroom (and I call it that because I merely sleep there) is a laundry pit. Piles upon piles and I refuse to wash anything that isn't down in the basement by the washer. He'll wear underwear two days and socks for a week. GROSS.

These fuckers are nasty and if I didn't think that vagina's were ugly and disgusting, I would totally be a lesbian. And I would marry somebody who actually knew what a laundry hamper was used for.

Unknown said...

Haha, I hear ya loud and clear. Actually I just finished doing a post about something similar (http://t.co/QCgalH7) on a different blog.

Short of tying him up and bludgeoning him, do you think letting him know would work? Or am I still too naive and young in my relationship where I believe communication solves all the problems?

Too bad you don't drink. A glass of wine sounds good right about now, and I'm only READING the bs, not living it!

Shirley said...

The thing that has been driving me nuts over the summer is that on Thursdays when I get home I realize that everything is right where I left it on Sunday. Chris hasn't been cleaning a damn thing! And while I appreciate that he works hard and takes great care of my kids I don't want the living in filth that has accumulated over the week! Thursday evening are always spent hardcore cleaning for me!

AmberLaShell said...

I have to say, that makes me so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so happy i no longer live with anyone... Hopefully you can stab something that won't get you into trouble soon.

Oilfield Trash said...

I hear you loud and clear.

I am happy to report to you that I am a man who cleans, cooks, and does not leave laundry all over the place.

On a side note, yesterday I said you sounded like me. Today you sound like my ex-wife. lol

Steff said...

I feel like my reply should be an entire blog post, because I am RIGHT THERE with you. I've been living with my man for only 3 years, but it seems like forever!

1) We have our laundry basket right next to the bed because that's the only place to put it, and he STILL takes his clothes off before he gets into bed and just kicks them in the direction of the basket. Is it seriously that hard to just pick them and and take the literally one extra step?!

4) Before I go to bed everynight, I like to read to clear my mind. I tend to read for about a half hour or hour until I am REALLY tired and can just go to sleep. When i'm done, I'll turn off the side lamp and get comfy, and go to sleep. Ten or fifteen minutes after I turn off the light, he'll try and half sex. I am usually half asleep at that point, and want to rip his head off. I've been up for an hour and he didn't try and make a move, and once I've been laying down for a while he tries?! Aghh! He always says, 'Well, I didn't want to interrupt your reading time.' Ya, whatever.

5) He eats leftovers and then puts the container back with just a little bit left so that he doesn't have to take care of the container.

6) If I had the means to get a goat or a sheep and was denied? I'd be furious.

8) Every time I clean a lot, he says in a sad tone, 'You're going to ask for a backrub tonight, right?' Ummm ya, when I do all the cleaning and you sit on your ass, damn right I'm going to ask for a backrub. Which leads me to number 9...

9) He thinks that because he gives me a backrub, he doesn't have to clean up after himself. I'll clean on an afternoon I have off, he'll come home from work, and within an hour it's messy again. And he will ALWAYS make the comment of, 'Wow, it looked so good earlier! That got dirty fast!' FUCK. YOU.

Man, good post. Thanks for letting me vent as well. =D

Ruth said...

Oh, I know my moods drive my husband nuts.
His complaining over and over about the same thing drives me nuts.
He talks to me like I am a little kid sometimes.
He is always using the debit card and then forgets to write it all down so I have to do it when I find it on the statement.
The chore thing totally sucks. When I worked FT and he was going to college, I still had to come home and clean everything.

middle child said...

YES! YES! and YES! Starting a project and never finishing it. Destroying and not repairing. Swearing that goes above and beyond the call of duty. ADHD anyone? Hogging my kitchen. Talking bad about me to everyone. Not delaying his hunting trip to go to my dad's funeral with me. So yeah. That gives you the very briefest of brief as to why mommy takes pills.

Anonymous said...

LOL you are more than welcome to come to my place for a wknd if you need to get away ;) In fact, PLEASE come. I'm so bored here lately.

Julie H said...

I think Scott and Matt are long lost brothers. The laundry thing. That's him to a T.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Oh my between the laughing and nodding I was thinking of things that Tim does that really pisses me off, such as he will complain about stuff being on the lounge but it is his stuff he will come home from work and sit his work bag on the lounge along with his jacket and then complain about the stuff being on the lounge...

So I know how you feel and you have only been with Matt nine years wait till you get to 26 yrs which is how long me and Tim have been together.

Ang said...

Steve mostly laughs at my need to have things put away or done a certain way... i try to laugh it off too... keyword: try.

and I agree about the cleaning thing - we shouldn't have to ask for them to do something - if we are cleaning... they should just start helping. We're not doing it for our health!

Maybe it's a diet tactic when he eats your special foods/treats - do you really NEED them yourself? LOL ;)

thotlady said...

Funny you should post about this. On Sunday, I was out busting my butt picking up leftover fall leaves and the numerous branches that fall from our trees because we live in the woods. My husband is inside lying on the couch reading and watching t.v. As I walk in and out getting another rake, garbage bags, etc. I am fuming. Sweaty and very tired. I have raked and filled up six bags. I get the wheel barrow to start hauling them to the curb, as I am making my second trip I look over at our neighbors deck and there is my husband sitting getting his hair cut by my neighbor. (She cuts his hair regularly). I am busting my hump and he is relaxing shooting the breeze with her. I don't mind that he is getting his hair cut, but come on, he should have helped me with the lawn first. He lives here too. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I was so sore and tired when I finished, I am still feeling my muscles screaming at me today.

And they don't even feel guilty about this shit.

Jandy xx said...

you just made my situation a whole lot easier :)

Unknown said...

ugh we have issues too. like your goat problem the hubs refuses to agree to future foster tiger cubs. i'm like wtf we give them back before they're lethal. oy. lol

Dana said...

Frustrating! My BF of almost 7 years puts his clothes on the floor too despite there being a basket around. He's only vacuumed once since we've lived together and he leaves all his papers on the counter all the time. The kitchen is not a place for you to empty your pockets every day! Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when he uses the microwave but doesn't use the full time he typed in so when he's done he leaves time left on the display instead of the clock and it drives me nuts! Just clear out the time after you've taken out your food!