Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Oh a campin' we will go...

... or try to go.

Last week I mentioned to you that over the course of last weekend I'd be crossing the canoeing and camping portion of my 30/30 list off. Well because the canoe rental joint in Brule, Wisconsin is ungodly popular they were out of boats. In a larger tourist area I would have reserved one ahead of time, but I figured not many people chose Brule as a vacation destination. What with it's seedy looking hotel (singular), random bars (plural) and few things other than that on the one road through town. But obviously I'm an idiot and underestimate people's desire to do things in the wilderness.

Since canoeing was no longer an option, it didn't really make sense to drive to Brule only to sit in the woods with only Matt for more than 24 hours. Together. I think it's safe to say only one of us would have made it out and my money would be on myself since hey- I can run now! (And I fight dirty, so I automatically get more points.)

A really terrible plan B was to pick our kids up early and camp with them in our yard. Laugh all you want, but we get wildlife in our yard. My garbage can has evidence that a bear bitch slapped it so you just shut up. It's kind of like nature. And we have a tent, sleeping bags, AND we were under a tree. It counts.

 And because this was all totally impromptu and I was too lazy from being kid-free for the week we decided we were just going to 'que it up in this bitch.

And then because I'm an awesome parent, I let my kids try sparklers again. We only did this once when Olivia was three who totally burned herself and has reminded us ever since. But she was totally interested this time.
 And then Jackson had to show off to her because he's three and declared he wasn't a baby.
 So after sparklers we were going to do smores. But I kid you not the minute I pulled the crackers out, it started to rain. And by "rain" I mean "pour". So we hauled ass into the tent. At 6:50 p.m. I don't know if you're familiar with small kids, but they kind of don't love bed time. I'm a big fan of them having doors on their bedrooms so I can just shut the door at bedtime. They are trained (except Olivia on her insomnia months, yes I said "months") to stay in their room unless they have to pee, are being kidnapped or the house is on fire. But all that aside, I want you to know that those kids didn't fall asleep until 10:30. I was exhausted but clearly couldn't sleep because you KNOW those kids would have been out of that tent playing in the sandbox all night. We also had some trips to the potty where Matt ran across the yard, in the rain, carrying a toddler so they didn't pee in the tent. Then I made him get me more pillows because hello- our yard is really hard.
 So finally, I snuggled next to Jackson (who clearly doesn't look tired here in his Batman pajamas and CARS sleeping bag) and Matt was next to Olivia.
The other downside to camping in the summer is that it was hot as FUCK in that tent. And it was raining, fairly windy and a ton of thunder/lightening. Oh- have I mentioned that neither of my kids like storms?

Overall it went OK. I couldn't sleep with shit because a twin size sleeping bag is not do-able for me. I had to unzip it I just couldn't be crammed up like that. Then I was too cold. Then the ground was too hard. My back was killing me. Around 2 am I really wanted to go inside but I didn't.

Did I encounter wildlife? Why as a matter of fact, I did. At some point I could see a couple of deer coming through my yard. Like idiots, we put the tent under the apple tree and the deer raid our yard for apples all of the time. So here were deer having a buffet near us. Then one came super close to the tent and basically sniffed right next to my head. I had visions of being kicked in the head, but I wasn't. Then a little while later as Jackson is thrashing and talking in his sleep I smell it. A god damn skunk. We get skunks a LOT near our house and almost every morning the yard smells like a skunk died. So I'm thinking, "Oh shit- please do not get freaked out and spray the tent" because hello- that would totally gas us. So I saw it do it's stupid skunk wiggle walk through the yard not even two feet from the tent but he didn't appear to care that Jackson was thrashing like a wild man causing the entire tent to shake. And then right before the kids got up, a bunch of bunnies hopped next to my head. Because by this point, I got pushed to the far corner of the tent and had water dripping on me from the zippered window thingie.

Overall, I was proud of myself for not being a baby and going into the house halfway through. But I am determined to canoe yet before winter. It's pretty much fall at this point here, you can tell that summer is officially over with the temperatures.. so the water is going to be cold. There's no doubt about that. But in September Matt and I are going on a couples camping/canoeing trip with some friends. They are going to kayak while we canoe since we all know Matt and I can't kayak together. Every time I think back to that horrendous trip I think that if nothing else, the rest of the people on that trip have a great story about a really incapatible couple that they once kayaked with. Just another little service I provide.


Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY think you can cross off camping on your list. You had ANIMALS! And you stuck it out even thought it was raining. I don't think I could've managed that. I laughed multiple times through this post. Hilarious. And is Olivia's hair getting darker? I thought it looked lighter the last time you posted pics.

Anyways- glad you made it out alive with all the wildlife running through your yard :)

Julie H said...

That's more wildlife than we saw when we actually went camping.

If you are going to tent camp again I suggest getting an air mattress. We have a twin size for each family member (and now an extra) and a pump you plug into the car. It makes it WAYYY better.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

If you are sleeping in a tent in the rain then it's camping whether you are in your back yard or out in the wilderness, it's still camping......

Shirley said...

Olivia looks so grown up in the second picture. Good for you for sticking it out.

Ryan Adair said...

Hahaha! Omg.

My boyfriend and I are really into camping; Our friends always want to go with us (because we have all the sweet gear, and we are awesome) but I flat out refuse to go camping somewhere with a bathroom, so they usually bail out. (Whats the point if you cant poop in the woods?)

Sounds like you guys had fun despite underestimating the popularity of canoeing.

We bought to Kayaks a couple of years ago; It was weird at first, but I prefer it over canoeing now. But we have our own boats.. Which is the main reason we got kayaks-- I am a WAY better canoer than my love (he thinks differently) so when we canoe together, it usually results in some sort of break down, where we fight about something that happened 7 years ago. sighs.

whoa that was long! ALSO, in response to you comment.. I really hate christmas; I think I love thanksgiving because it usually involves bday cake in my honor and mashed potatoes.....mmmmm.... and green bean casserole.. and turkey! BUT I am a huge BAH HUMBUG. :P

Ryan @ Thismustbetheplaceryan

Kattrina said...

That is so cute - camping in your backyard! I used to do that in high school all the time with my friends. We pretty much got no sleep whatsoever because it was completely uncomfortable. It's better than nothing though and you get extra bonus points for not canceling when it started raining!

Ruth said...

My husband has always wanted to go camping as a family. He did it a lot growing up. I have slept in tents on the hard ground and I am not doing it again. I have to have one of those blow-up mattresses. It's the only way.

Dana said...

What an adventure!