Sunday, June 10, 2012

The end.

HA! I bet you all had a dramatic intake of breath thinking I had officially lost my fucking mind and decided to quit blogging! But you'd all be wrong and I'm ashamed that you'd think such a thing.

No, instead I'm talking about the end of the school year. This year for Olivia was full of fun, excitement, friend making, bullying from kids who can't keep their damn hands to themselves, and most of all- growing. This girl is a totally different kid from when she started school back in September. Back then I would describe her as very timid, shy, soft spoken, a little fearful of new things, and had a hard time relating to other kids. Now? This girl is sassy, confident, makes friends pretty easily, likes to be the leader of the class, ended up being the mother hen to lots of kids in the class and smart. Holy fucking shit is she smart. Like freaky smart.

And I'm not going to lie- this year flew by in a flash. It seriously feels like we just started and here we are, the end of the year. *sigh*
 Olivia doing her end-of-year pose on our ghetto porch. My hope is that next year? She will stand on a non ghetto porch!
 My big girl. All fashionable and picking out her outfits because apparently I don't do it right.

But on their last day she got to meet her new teacher for next year and see who's in her class. I was coming to her school that afternoon to volunteer during the end-of-year party they do for the kids which included three bounce house and a DJ. To say every kid in that school had an incredible time is an understatement. It was so fun to watch the kids and Olivia was hysterical. And so like me.
 This girl? Knew the macarena already. This right here is proof that knowing the macarena has evolved into genetics and DNA, people.
 She kind of rocked it.
 And they did the train!
Complete with the toot toot part! God damn I felt really old in that moment.

But let's talk about once we got home, because that's where it gets sad. Literally, as soon as we got home and put our stuff away, Olivia BURST into tears. And I'm talking full on tears to the point where I thought she seriously hurt herself and I'm checking for injuries. As it turns out, she has NOT ONE FRIEND in her first grade class. Let me repeat that, NOT ONE FRIEND in her class. Now, they are going from three Kindergarten classes and being separated into four first grade classes. Her class alone had 24 kids in it last year and she's going to class with 15, so that's part of it. What I don't get is how with her five friends in Kindergarten that are her go-to buddies at lunch time, she got NOBODY in her class. Oh wait. She gets the loud mouthed girl Olivia doesn't like because she's kind of too much to handle and then the boy who cries 24/7 for pretty much no reason.

She really likes the teacher and said the classroom looks really fun with lots of new stuff, but she is pretty much devastated that she has not one friend in her class. Now, part of me wants to be mama bear and go to the school and be like, really? You really think this is the best thing for her considering how many problems we had this year getting her to make a friend and not be a total bully target? Then the other part of me is waving the "this is life and life isn't fair" flag. I'm pretty much torn on what to do.

In preparation for the end of the school year, I told Olivia she could have her first ever sleepover. Only two of the three girls we invited could come which ended up being OK because it was crazy town up in here for two days. Her friend Grace and Ivy came over on Friday and none of the girls had ever been to or had a sleepover so this was new for everyone. We played HARD on Friday, we ate junk, we watched movies and  by midnight I could not stay up any longer. I heard them still talking past midnight but I just couldn't do it. I actually have no idea when or if they ever went to bed.

 But the girls camped out on Olivia's floor and none of them would let me take pictures of them during the day. I only got this one because the door was cracked open and I snuck in to take it. I did hear Olivia scream, "MOM! Are you serious right now? Go away!". Um, yeah. Six people. She's six.

The next day we were bummed that Ivy had to leave earlier than planned but she was going to her family's cabin on a lake which I'm sure was awesome since we had great weather. But my other treat for the girls was a little girl spa day. There is a salon in Hermantown, MN that does a little spa thing just for little girls which is too damn cool. So they were super excited.
 Olivia and Grace waiting like little ladies to be called. Neither had ever done this but were both super excited.
 Once they got back there, they got to wear robes and tiaras and pick out the colors for the manicures and pedicures.
 The funny part was that these girls were talking NON STOP together for the entire time of our sleepover, through our lunch date, through the mall (where I got them some clearance goodies from Claires and some cheap-o sunglasses from The Children's Place), and the entire car ride. I'm talking non stop where I had wished that I brought headphones. But once we got to the salon? Not a damn peep out of either of them. It was hilarious.
Not to mention the fact that proof that they got little to no sleep? Was that they were both dozing off during the leg massages!

This turned out to be a little more expensive than I thought, but it was absolutely worth it because those girls had a fabulous time and talked about how great it was the entire way home.

After Grace left, Olivia and I cleaned up her room and put stuff away and you know what she says to me? She says, "Mom- thanks for letting me have a party with my friends. I just wish I was going to have friends next year." Um, break my fucking heart. *sigh*

So, what do you think I do? Do I talk to the school or do I let it go and hope for the best? I hate feeling torn but I also don't want to be that annoying parent that pisses off the teachers thinking I know more about child social development than they do, you know?


middle child said...

Only in Wisconsin! We just got home today from going to Fall Creek for a High School graduation party. They too had a Bounce House. A pink princess covered Bounce house. Only two little kids there for a wee bit of time. Did I mentions this was a High School graduation for two boys???

I think I would just reassure Olivia that she will make new friends and probably see her old friends at times. BUT. If this bully shit starts up again...go right to the principal and straighten her/him out!

Tiffany said...

When it comes to the school thing, unless you want to set the precedent that you're going to do this every year, I would not go up to the school.

Being in a class with all new people will give Olivia a chance to make some new friends. I know that is really, really hard but honestly the ability to form new friendships is extremely important throughout life, not just in school.

That said - DEFINITELY go up to the school ASAP if the bullying issues pop back up. That is a whole other issue.

Kattrina said...

First - you are going to go broke having such top-of-the-line sleep overs! You put all the other moms to shame!

Second, I'd have to agree with middle child. I think you should just let it go. I'm sure that Olivia will make new friends and that's part of growing up. Whose to say that she remains friends with those same people if they are in the same class anyway? I moved around all the time as a kid and was always the new girl with no friends and it was tough but I always met new people. And she can still hang out with the other girls even if they are not in the same class. She'll adjust and make new friends!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

my oldest had none of his friends in his 3rd grade class, but he saw two of them when they separated for reading groups 4 days a week and all of them at lunch & recess. It was hard on him at first but within a month he had new friends in his classroom. I'd leave it be, this can happen every year all 12 years & it'll probably be easier to get used to it now.