Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Random bits of Sara's crazy.

My brain is full of random observations and thoughts that need to come out. So let's talk about them.

1. Why don't you ever see moose in zoos? I just realized I have never seen a real moose ever and I don't know why zoos don't have them. It can't be their weight- zoos have hippos and elephants. It can't be their height- they have giraffes. Why are we discriminating against moose? Bastards.

2. I think my cat Batman has a butt problem. Specifically, when he jumps, poop falls out. He also gets nervous and poops. I think Lillian is effecting his butt hole and I'm concerned. He's also losing chunks of fur when the flashing lights gets a little crazy. Some days it looks like I've shaved the poor cat with the amount of fur on the floor.

3. I'm kind of annoyed at my neighbors. I am over the top friendly and say hello every time I see them and that bitch doesn't say a word. I am only going to feel bad calling her a bitch if it turns out she's deaf.

4. Why is it when Matt does dishes everything is greasy and he doesn't notice? How do you not notice when you pick up a "clean" dish and it's completely covered in grease and your hand just slides over it? It's gross. And it makes me stabby when I put stuff away only to realize that most of it needs to be re-washed.

5. People who are cross eyed or have a lazy eye freak me out. I don't know where to look and I know I look like a moron trying to figure out where to look. So I try to look at their nose or something but that feels weird too.

6. I mentioned this on Facebook, but what the fuck is up with men with long fingernails? I am seeing so many guys with long fingernails and it's all I can do not to say that's disgusting to their face. Admittedly, most of these people look questionable like they are probably using some kind of drugs but still. That's fucking disgusting. As women, we need to put our foot down on hygiene.

7. Can I just ask why women date men who look like pimps or drug dealers? They walk around town and look ridiculous. Who would willingly date a person who is a drug dealer? I mean, that would be a deal breaker for me. If some guy was like, "yeah, I deal drugs a little" , I'd be like NO THANKS. Nothing good has ever come from dating a drug dealer.

8. What the hell is up with people getting tattoos on their face and neck? Or women with boob/chest tattoos? Not once have I ever seen one of these on anybody and thought they looked good. Women of America- it is trashy to have tattoos all up on your boobs.

9. Does baby fever get better? Or is my uterus going to hurt every time I see a baby? Some times it's not so bad an other times I want a baby so much it physically hurts. Matt is adamant we aren't having any more and for the most part.. I've accepted that. But give me a baby and I want one. Bad.

10. What the fuck is wrong with Kristen Stewart? God DAMN. First off, she's like the luckiest bitch in the world to be banging Robert Pattinson and she decides to start screwing around with a married man with children? I hate her even more than I did before for her obviously lack of emotions and speech impediment and what I believe to be Turrets. Nobody flips their hair that much and constantly pulling at their hands than a liar or someone with Turrets.

11. Which brings me to this one- if you ever think that you are going to cheat, ever think about it or whatever, you need to tell your partner and just break up. A person would rather be broken up with than cheated on any day, hands down. I don't know how people think that their situation would get any better if they just had one indiscretion. Come on now, don't be dumb.

12. Why are people suing the movie studio over the shooting in Colorado? Really? How is any of this their fault? There is something really fucking wrong with a person who would sue just because they are able to when this was clearly a freak thing. Because one nut job decides he's going to make an obviously bad decision, does not give you the right to sue. That would be like suing Nike because your sneakers didn't help you run fast enough.

13. Will I ever stop craving french fries every day? Because I'm pretty sure this is what crack heads looking for a fix feel like. I want them and I want them NOW.


Shirley said...

Is Batman the cat Matt violated with a Q-tip? Possibly related?

Kristen Stewart is just a moron. It's bad enough that she has absolutely zero acting ability but she just became the most hated woman in America. Robert just needs to start banging sluts left and right. I'll volunteer because it's my duty to America.

Life Love & High Heels said...

maybe it's because i have a slight buzz going on, but I totally laughed out loud at #3. And now I wanna know if she's really deaf. lmao.

And I agree with all your points here. Basically- wtf is wrong with people. Honestly- I'm so tired of people lately. Like, legit. The general public... SO TIRED of it all.

Also- fries from restaurants are generally soaked in a sugar water before being flash frozen and shipped to restaurants. Sugar has been studied in rats and can be more addicting than cocaine. So pretty much- crack is whack and give up the sugar ;)

Ang said...

some very good thoughts here.
As for Matt doing dishes, it's easy to say 'just be happy he's doing them' but I totally get what you're talking about, in a different manner. Steve tries (and I try to appreciate it) to clean the bathrooms, specifically when I bitch about how much I clean, but for some reason he doesn't sweep before he washes the floor... GROSS. I have long hair, and it comes out a lot. Not sweeping it up just allows it to stay there, thus defeating the purpose of doing anything to the floor DUDE! ugh. end rant. sorry.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

1. The drive thru safari zoo here has a moose.
2. Batman has issues. They're probably Lillian's fault.
3. I feel the same way about my neighbors. Assholes.
4. Andy is over the top about the dishes. I'm probably the one who leaves them greasy.
5. I can make myself have a lazy eye. But it's not there usually.
6. I dated a guy in high school that claimed he needed long fingernails on one hand to play the guitar. Ew.
7. I agree with you. It is not sexy.
8. My aunt got a tattoo of a rose on her boob when she was like 20. it looks like shit on her now.
9. Watch this and have your baby fever abated:
10. I can't talk about this. It makes me too upset.
11. One time I cheated to break up with the person because we got back together too many times. I'm not proud.
12. That is ridiculous. I hadn't heard that yet.
13. The answer is no. I crave french fries 24/7.

Jill said...

There are moose at the Minnesota Zoo! They are kind of tricky to spot though because they lie down in the shade during the summer. I do love their dopey faces though!

Julie H said...

1. No idea 2. Gross 3. Guessing the neighbor doesn't like you 4. My husband CANNOT wipe down the counter. Drives me crazy. 5. My friend has a lazy eye but I always forget which one to look at lol. 6. Icky 7. They do drugs too 8. I've seen a few on the clavical area that I like. They are growing on me. 9. Have some teenagers, you'll never want a baby again. 10. He's fine 11. I think it's the game of being wanted. 12. People sue for everything. Still hoping we don't get sued for the accident my husband was in. 13. I don't really crave french fries but I really want a baconater after seeing a bunch of commercials.

Wawee said...

Once again thanks for making me laugh! The Suamico Zoo has a moose and baby moose - they are pretty cute. You know what one of my issues is? Besides my intense hatred of feet (unless they are baby or little kid feet). Long toenails. On anyone. Yuck! Long fingernails on men are really nasty too!

Ryan Adair said...

Omg. Rob is doing the dishes right now, and my first thought was..." Ugh, I'm probably goons have to rewash all those. "

I pray to god the neighbor kid doesn't talk to us.

And I have a neck tattoo, but no one notices it, and when they do they think its pretty. But face and boobs I don't get. I also hate it when chicks get really masculine tats, like flaming sculls.

Kristin Stewart.... Ew. Infact, he is Ew too. So they can be Ew together.

And....I don't remember what else you bitched about, so goodnight ily. ;)