Thursday, August 9, 2012

Domestic Bitch Queen

OK, so our kids have been spending the week with my in-laws since Saturday and they will be there until Saturday or Sunday this week. With them being gone for an entire week I suddenly feel the cleaning bug climb to a firm position in my ass and when that happens, Matt tries to hide before I get too carried away. Unfortunately for him, he's not a fast runner and I made him get involved and pretend to be happy about it.

The laundry room is still in progress and at this very moment, the second coat of Lemon Ice paint (a really faint yellow) is going up in there so that we can hang up one of the new cupboards up tomorrow and put up window trim. As it turns out, our laundry room has turned into a giant abyss of a money hole because everything needs to be replaced. So far this winter we need to buy a new exterior door that goes to the back porch (because the back porch is not insulated at all and the exterior door will keep the house from freezing), new dry wall on the wall the door goes, a new ceiling, two sets of cabinets for storage and then flooring. But to keep myself from being overwhelmed by the costs, I just run the water in my new laundry sink and I've hugged it. Twice. It's just really nice to have a sink that doesn't smell, has running water that isn't orange, and drains.

It really is the little things.

But while shit was happening in the laundry room, I got busy all over the rest of the house. Let's just start with some pictures.

First up, I have to reveal something super embarrassing. Anyone who knows me knows I am an obsessive cleaner. My house smells like candles, Bath & Body Wallflower plug ins or bleach. I sweep my floors daily, mop once a week, vacuum daily, constantly wiping things down, and I'm overly organized. But this weekend I decided that we were going to re-utilize my microwave cart as craft storage and use my book cases (replaced by shelving.. details coming soon) as kitchen storage. Which, sounds crazy, but I actually love it. So while Matt was moving all of this around I decided we should clean the floors really well behind where that stuff was and the oven. Which, I can't move my oven easily because the gas line is literally right there and I'm not about to be fucking around with a gas line. And quite frankly- I'm appalled.

 This is five years of cat toys, kid toys, and dust under there. FIVE YEARS. It's been five years since that has been moved because that's when we put the flooring in and yeah. Five years of filth. I obviously threw it all away and we scrubbed that floor clean. But still, it was a low point. It's so fucking gross and quite frankly- I'm afraid to move the refrigerator because it's been five years since that bitch has been moved. Maybe next weekend. *sigh*
 But here's what the bookshelves look like. Finally all of my favorite cookbooks are together and it just looks cleaner. And it actually fits better than the microwave table did so we have some more room to get through to the ghetto, in-progress laundry room.

Then once I did that, I decided that I had to re-organize my craft closet because I was going to re-purpose my old microwave table thing. I didn't take a before picture because I didn't think of it, but I purged a LOT out of here. To give you perspective? You couldn't see my desktop. The shelves were shoved full of stuff and it's just nice to get it back to being able to find stuff.
And here is where I'm storing my weirdo supplies and my favorite stamp sets. I got rid of a lot and I'll probably yard sale them? Next year. By then I'll probably decide to get rid of a bunch more too. Who knows. But I am much happier with this and it just looks nicer in my dining room.
And then.. I cleaned out Jackson's room which was a god damn NIGHTMARE. I hate to acknowledge that both of my kids appear to be hoarders and that my upstairs will be on that show someday. I also know that when I throw out all of their crap it probably just makes it worse but honestly- it was taking over his room. He was hiding stuff under his bed, under his mattress like a god damn drug dealer, in his window sill, under the dresser, in containers shoved to the bottom of the toy box, etc. I mean, he's creative for a four year old- I'll give him that. So I ended up bringing up the rolling carts I used for crafts to be used for toys and little guys and cars and crap. Olivia's room.. let's just say I worked on it for an hour and gave up. I was at my limit for one day of cleaning. I'll finish it up tomorrow night.

Yes, I did all of this in one afternoon.

Bow down, bitches.


Stacia said...

Seriously...thanks for the laugh. Fucking cat toys. I have the same problem.

You are awesome:)

____j said...

I wish I had 1/4 of the motivation that you have to clean.

Zoƫ said...

I'm all inspired now! the only probably is, I don't have an apartment yet (moving into the new one on the 19th). But I actually spent 3 hours yesterday scrubbing my mom's fridge, and I don't even live there, so that's my cleaning cred for the week.

Jen Mc said...

Would you like to vacation in northern Illinois? ;)
Great job!
Hope you are enjoying you kid free time.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I moved my fridge before I moved out of my apartment because I thought there MIGHT be some cat toys under there. The shit I found made me gag. So freaking gross.

Kattrina said...

I am scared to move my fridge and oven because I'm terrified there are mouse living back there. Or other gross things. Too scary to think about. If you think five years is bad - I doubt my oven has been moved in 20 years and there have been some nasty people living in there. Gross-a-roni.

Do you want to come to my house and finish unpacking and organize the baby room? :-)

Life Love & High Heels said...

Cleaning under appliances is the WORST. Every apt I've lived in (including the one from college) made it part of the move out process to clean under the oven/fridge. It's always gross no matter how long since you've last cleaned. But at least now it's done?

Yay for cleaning! That's what my wknd is going to be spent doing!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...


My kids were bitching about cleaning out their shit so I made them watch 2 episodes of Hoarders: Buried Alive and told them "this is what happens when you don't get rid of stuff" and suddenly they felt like purging their toys.

My mud room money pit is still sucking us down the hole.

middle child said...

You KNOW I am bowing down. So low I can see underneath my stove. Oh-Oh!