Monday, December 3, 2012

What your lambwhore leader wants for Christmas.

Believe it or not, I actually get some pretty awesome stuff in the mail from my blog readers. Sometimes you mail me things related to Robert Pattinson because you thought of me and those are awesome. Or sometimes you send me goat related things with a note saying Matt is a jerk for not letting me have a real one and those things are awesome too. (I will always love the Robert and goat items. Those are permanent fixtures on any list.)

And then sometimes my own family and friends have no idea what to get me and I can't fathom this because I am EASY to shop for. There must be at least five things every day that I say I want so times that by 365 days and you have no excuse. *cough* Matt *cough* But to alleviate stress from your shopping days I am giving you a list of stuff I would like for Christmas.

1. Black sequin Converse.  I'd like high tops, but I certainly wouldn't turn down the others either. I'm a size 8.

2. But if you were like, "Oh, but she might like a white pair, too", you would be right. These are what I'd like my summer shoe to be. Again, I'm a size 8.

3. A Coach Legacy Signature Stripe Swingpack. Don't judge me.

4. I legit need a new wallet and this would match my purse. Right?

5. For real though, I need a new Nook. The one I currently have has been dropped, it's forward button is about worn out and the poor battery is almost completely useless. Poor thing. So it's time for something new! Like maybe a tablet one! And shut up about Kindle. I fucking hate Amazon and I refuse to support such a shit company so you and your Kindle can skip along.
NOOK HD Smoke 16GB
6. Then I would obviously need a super cute case to put my Nook HD in, right? And what better place to look than on Etsy. I couldn't find a goat one, but I found a donkey with rainboots one and that's pretty fucking kick ass.
Nook HD Cover, Pink Donkeys Wearing Rain Boots
7. A Shark Plus Steam Pocket Mop. Dudes- I need this for my laminate flooring that I absolutely hate. I feel like if I don't get one, I may get homicidal.
Shark Plus Steam Pocket Mop
8. The I need a new vacuum that can actually pick up Batman's fur and isn't the heaviest mother fucker to carry while I clean the stairs. Like the Shark Professional Pet Navigator one.
Shark Professional Pet Navigator Lift Away Bagless Vacuum
9. My iPod is dead. Well, technically it turns on and will sometimes play what I want it to, but for the most part it's dying a painful death. I also need something HUGE. 8GB is a fucking joke when it comes to my music collection. I also don't want a touch. I don't know why, I just don't. Just give a me a classic any day.
iPod classic - Black
10. I want to keep my new car clean, so I need some super nice floor mats.

11. I need a new hair dryer. A super heavy duty one that not only blows hot air but is something made for chicks with unbelievably thick, wavy hair. To put it in perspective, the people at the salons who try to dry my hair even say it's unbelievable and they don't understand why I don't keep my hair short. Heavy duty, bitches.

12. I would like the Kinect for Xbox 360 because I want to do Zumba at home.

13. So then I would also need Zumba for Xbox.

14. I'd like the Paula Deen 15 piece cookware. Anybody who has seen my cookware would laugh. It's mix and match and everything sucks.

15. I'd also like square dishes. I need two sets, though.

16. Books I would like to have:
- The Soul Seekers Series by Alyson Noel
- The Colorado Mountain Man Series by Kristen Ashley
- On Dublin Street by Samantha Young
- Delirium by Lauren Oliver
- Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
- Anything by Shayla Black (I have Mine to Hold)
- Anything by Jamie McGuire (I have Beautiful Disaster)
-City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare

17. I'm always in the market for new nail polish and I like OPI and Essie the best.

18. I would also take gift certificates! I like to shop but can't always afford to. :)

19. Music! I am forever trying to buy new music.

20. A Christmas card. Seriously. I like hearing from people, I like seeing your pictures, I like knowing what you did over the year and what you hope to do next year. Sometimes it's just nice to know someone remembered me.

So, now that you know what I want for Christmas- what are you hoping to get?


Anonymous said...

I need to do a post like this. But I have to say....I am an amazon whore. (And NO...that does NOT mean I am a really tall, ginormous slut). My whole family has done amazon wish lists this year, so shopping for them (and me!) has been easy peasy.

I will say this: I am bound and determined to do Christmas cards this year. I have not done them for either two or three years and it makes me feel sad and dirty.

So maybe I can start them tonight.

PS: Great list, by the way. Mine is mainly scrapbooking shit and art supplies. But I LOVE the shoes you picked out!!

Ruth said...

Oh, the Shark steam mop is great. It gets stains that have been on the floor for years up. Say good-bye to that cat urine smell that you only thought you got rid of and yet just sunk into the linoleum. Plus, the floor feels great to walk on.

I'd like my daughter to do some things around the house for me.
I told my husband not to get me anything since he just got me a really nice curio cabinet that I didn't ask for. But, he is going to buy me something anyway.

Unknown said...

Do you have a wii?

Unknown said...

Do yoy have a Wii?

Lin said...

If Matt was ever going to read one of your posts this one would be it. For real, forward him the link haha.

I plan on buying my hubs the new Nook for Christmas. He bought me one last Christmas & promptly took it from me. Havent seen it or held it since :/ I thought about buying myself the new one but I figure I'll just do what he did & steal it after opening haha. Hope you get all this fantastic stuff!

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

You need the floormate hard floor cleaner. We got one last year and it is a LIFE CHANGER for hard floors.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

You want some pretty awesome things. I actually have (but have not read YET) Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. But I agree, someone should get you that, because Gillian Flynn is a fave of mine (read her first two books). I made a mini list of items I wanted one year on my blog and my sister actually got one or two from it, which was funny...yet awesome. :)

Tina said...

I would just like to do my Christmas shopping knowing that other shoppers have taken a small amount of time addressing basic hygiene before heading out.

Is it too much to ask that you wash your ass before heading out shopping. Maybe change your week old underwear? Have you heard of deodorant?

I so wish I could avoid Walmart completely right now :(

Yesterday was particularly "fragrant"

thewriterslife said...

This was so cute! Take my word for it, those square dishes are a pain in the ass to get in the microwave. And if you do get it in there, forget about it turning. Wish I could send you a goat, lol!