Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Ten Things.

This week is obscenely busy as it almost always is so I don't know why I'm continually surprised that I can only do so much in the span of 24 hours. But in spirit of Ten Things on Tuesday, here are ten totally random ass things that are on my mind today:

1. I'm starting to question the point of vacation. Quite frankly, the stress of saving up enough money so we can eat and do fun stuff for our entire week in Florida is getting to me. I feel like whoring myself for Disney tickets because two days is around $700. Happiest place on Earth, my ass.

2. And in the TMI department, is it just me or is it totally normal to go to the bathroom a lot more when you have your period? It's like, as soon as my ovaries decide to kick an egg off the island, my bladder and intestine get angry and it's horrible for the entire week. It's really weird and I just never remember to ask a doctor and WebMD said I have colon cancer, so I don't know what to think.

3. I've gotten the itch to move. Not from the city we live in, but to a different house. I feel extreme anxiety about this but I feel like it's the best move for us as a family. I love my house. Sure, it's a little ghetto and a lot of memories are here. It's our first house, we had both of our kids while living here, just a lot of attachment to this house. And god knows we've put in a LOT of work into this house. It's not reached it's full potential but we're just at the point where... do we put more money into it and stay, or do we upgrade to something bigger and let someone else put their mark on this house? So in the next few months we are going to finish trim in our bedroom, painting in the kitchen, figure out something for the cabinets in the kitchen, fix the front porch, and finish the laundry room. Oh, and put a new front porch on that matches the back deck. It's a LOT of work. I'm kind of scared. We're just going to move forward and hope for the best.

4. And by "hope for the best", I mean, "hope my dream house I see listed is still on there when our house sells" along with, "I hope our house sells fast because it's cute and a great starter home". Cross your fingers, bitches.

5. I literally just read something about this AND had a conversation with someone about this and yet this morning... I'm faced with it. Gun violence? No. Women's reproductive rights? No. Organic foods? No. I'm upset about the lack of pronunciation in the English language. When someone is like, "Can I axe you something?", I feel like punching them. It's ASK, it has an "s" in it, and not an "x". It's pretty clear. Sound it out, people. SOUND IT OUT. To be totally racist because I live in northern Wisconsin where to be honest, our African American population isn't high, for years my rage of this has been limited to what I saw on TV on shows like Judge Joe Brown and such. But honest to God, more and more people are failing to sound out their words and saying "axe" instead of "ask" and it's really pissing me off. And it's white people now. We need to tell people they sound like morons when they do this. Because I encountered a lady who was like, "Hey- I wanna axe you where you got yo shoes" this morning. I replied with, "You mean 'ask'? Because I don't know that 'axe' fits into the context of that sentence. Also? It's 'your' instead of 'yo'?" She looked like I was speaking a foreign language.

6. And on that subject? I also want to punch people who have "good ideers". It's IDEA, not 'ideers'.

7. I haven't started running yet. Or walking for that matter. Feel free to shame me.

8. Matt and I are thinking about doing a short family road trip later this summer. But I'll be honest, Matt is a terrible driver. And every time I think about him driving us, this is what I think of:
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9. Have you seen the commercials for those crazy ass eyeliners and eye shadows that could be from Crayola? Because I'm going to be honest- you should never, ever wear a shade of any of this that could be mistaken as a Crayola factory make over. I don't care what any fashion magazine tells you, nobody ever thinks you look good.
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10. Facebook is making me angry. It's also making me painfully aware of how many clueless Republican crazies I have in my friends list. I swear, the memes I see about politics make me consider suicide by bashing my head into my desk. Please, for the love of everything awesome, read the newspaper. Don't get your "news" from Fox or the 3 second snippets running along the bottom of whatever network you're watching. Read. Please just read. And read from multiple points of view before you go crazy and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about when I think it's only common sense to let a woman decide what to do with her body. Your penis is clueless and dirty.
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justme5686 said...

Not that you want to move out of your town but move closer to me! We'd have all the fun in the world! It'd be the Happiest Place on Earth.

devilishdelish said...

If you do Disney, I recommend doing a Magic Your Way Plus Dining package. It is the most affordable way to do Disney. Still not cheap, but the most affordable way to do it.

Martha Hokenson said...

#10 alone is enough reason for me to follow you. <3 I hope you can sort out vacay. I'm trying not to spend money right now so I can have a fun vacay this summer and sometimes it SO does not feel worth it!!

Ruth said...

Cost is why we never vacation. Once you figure out the cost of doing anything, it is insane.
Totally normal to go to the bathroom more. I do and so does my daughter so I'd say it's a common thing.
I am with you on the grammar. How bout excape? WTH people? When the Saints won the superbowl a few years back and everyone started saying true dat, I thought I was going to scream.
It's too cold to go running.

Nikki Brown said...

2. I hear ya in the TMI department. My bowels torture me when I'm on my period.

5. Thank you!!! I can't stand "axe"!!!! Ugh! I want to punch every person that says that to me. Especially in my line of work, I always get people coming up to me and saying, "Yo, lemme axe you a "qesshun"". Please, let me karate kick you in the throat.

8. My husband sucks as a driver as well. He tends to drive toward the direction he looks so if he sees something out of his side window, the wheel tends to go that way too.

10. Thank you. I never realized how many clueless Repubs I have on my newsfeed as well.

kimberrleigh said...

I live in the South and all I fucking hear is "Imma axe u a queztion". I hate it. I can deal with the southern drawl, actually I've grown 100% use to it. But the uneducated speech? NOPE. GTFO people...

carelessly graceful

Lin said...

1. Disneyland is fun but it's a fucking rip off. We live about 40 mins from Disneyland and as much as we've wanted to go, we just cant afford the $65 tickets.

Dude, I thought I was the only person that had to deal with shit (pun not totally intended) while aunt flo's in town. Ugh, I cannot stand it when people say things like "axe" instead of ask.

My husbands a horrid driver, makes me sick every time I get in the car with him. Hence why I'm the only one that drives if we're both going somewhere.

Unknown said...

'Idear' comes from the British pronunciation. I only know this because my mother is from Boston and says it, and drives me NUTS. I correct her all the time.

Why don't you come out here and drive for a week? You'd have a year's worth of blog fodder, so not joking.

I keep thinking we'll move, but now we have a friend that wants to move into the basement, and pay us...which is, literally, the answer to my prayers.

Tamara said...

#7. I say 'ideers' but only because I like to make fun of my own redneck tendencies.

#8. SHAME.