Sunday, August 24, 2014

Two jobs kind of stinks.

I tell the story often that back when I was in college, I had three jobs. I was full time in school, I had a full time job at a fast food restaurant, I had a part time office support job and I was part time as a telemarketer during third shift. I was getting maybe five hours of sleep, if I was lucky, each night and at least part of the week I slept in my car in the school parking lot. 

So every time I hear college students say they can't possibly work AND go to school, my eye twitches and I want to slap them. Because it is doable, and though it sucks, your bills still come and no creditor cares what your situation is or that you are sleeping in a 1998 Chevy Lumina in a parking lot during the winter. 

Fast forward to adulthood when I remember having one full time job and feeling like it was a total breeze. I felt like I had won the lottery not needing a second job and man, why are adults always bitching about this? This is AWESOME! 

But now we're in a situation where we really need to have more income coming in, even if only temporarily, and it's on me to do it. And I hate it. I hate that life feels like it has come full circle in some sick joke. 

So as of last week I have been working almost 60 hours between my two jobs. Thankfully, my inlaws has my kids for the whole week and it was just Matt and I. Well, mostly Matt. Poor Matt got kind of bored. But he did do cleaning around the house and managed to find food for himself. This week will be a different story. This is the first week where I basically won't see my kids all day except for an hour in the morning. 

And I hate it. 

I hate that I won't get to smell them after shower time, I won't get to tuck them into bed or read stories, get bed time kisses and snuggles, or hear about their day over dinner. 

Instead, I'll be going from one job to the next. For at least the next six months. 

I have to make some fairly large decisions career wise, pretty soon. I'm adult enough to be honest and say I'm completely avoiding doing that, because it's true. I also start school on September 2 and I'm kind of scared. I'm scared I won't do well and I'll be stuck with the enormous bill and have nothing to show for it, and I am scared I won't be able to do fun things with my kids. 

The plan was always to use one job to pay off things faster and use my other job to be our grocery money, pay my car payment, cover dental visits and extra activities for the kids. Then once all of the extra things are paid off, I'd quit one job and hopefully by then I'd be pregnant or giving birth soon, and it would all work out. 

Do I see that happening? I don't know. I really don't know. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep all of this stuff up either because I'm not a super woman and I'm older. Lots of friends were like, "You did more in college, you'll be fine!". Which, true, I did. But I'm also a good 13 years older, I'm tired, and I have kids. Things are different for me now. So we'll see. But for those who have emailed me encouragement this last week- thank you. Seriously. I maybe haven't replied but I got it, and I needed it. 


Unknown said...

I say you quit all jobs, stay in school and just become a stripper. It seems like easy money, the men can't touch you or they'll get thrown out and you got a booty that'll bring in dem dollas.

Just saying. :)

Kattrina said...

Adult life sucks. Too many serious and hard decisions, too much stress, and too much responsibility. Boo. I'm sending you lots of encouragement. And I'll be thinking of you on 2 Sept because I go back to school that day too. I just took out a $20k loan from Wells Fargo. I better be an amazing nurse or I'm gonna be pissed. You will do amazing and we can bitch and groan together.

Nicole Pyles said...

Ooooo more than one job is ROUGH goings, lady. I hope you have an end in sight, that way it doesn't feel like it's just stretching on forever.