Monday, December 21, 2015

A break would be super great.

As we wind down 2015 and we're looking at 2016, I can't help but really wish for a break. Things feel like they've been pretty tough this year. I haven't worked much so financially that's not fun. Matt has, in turn, worked a lot more and found out that he's worked the number of hours of two normal people, if you don't count the hours he has put in December yet.

Matt and I came to some hard decisions this year about being done with some things and going forward with plans to make that actually true. But in true fashion, it's like the universe has to show us who is actually in charge so we have an even tougher year ahead of us in 2016. We find out in another week if it's like normal tough or if it's call-in-serious-reinforcements tough. It's frustrating to know that no matter what we do, the universe has ultimate say and here we are.

Then on top of that, I'm really struggling with depression, likely brought on by the stress. I've been sicker than hell every day. Some days I get up and think finally, it's passed me over but then no. It comes back and I've hardly gotten anything done. I feel like a complete useless sack, basically.

I'm trying to not let the stress of everything get me down because Christmas is my absolute FAVORITE season. I haven't done any baking yet. I don't have our Christmas dinner planned out yet. I can't even speak of the horrors that is my laundry pile. I also won't talk to you about how badly my house needs to be cleaned. I just... I just want a break.

I can see why a lot of people hate this time of year. I feel like nothing goes our way and I hate feeling that if we can just make it until tax time things will get better. We do so well every year and yet every year, the end of the year does us in no matter how well we plan.

I know it'll all work out and things will be fine but I can't help but think I must have really screwed up in a past life to get this one this time around.


Unknown said...

Oh my dear! Lots of positive vibes being sent your way. I hear ya on all of this. Its been a tough year and emotionally tough. Things will work and be better on the other side. I'm sure of it!

The Flynnigans said...

I hear you loud and clear. If it makes you feel any better, I've gotta wait til Thursday morning to finish the last of the shopping. Because=bills and shitty timing. I'm so tight for money this month I'm crunching numbers every time anything comes out of our bank account. 2016 will be a year of tackling debt, let's just say. I get almost sick knowing we have over $30k in debt. So there's that. You're not alone Hun.

Hang in there and I hope it gets a smidge easier for you next year. And good luck - I have a inkling I know what you're getting at!!!


Mattie @ Northwest Native said...

It seems like all of our big expenses hit us in the past few weeks. Seriously, we moved to save money...and then all this crap gets thrown at us now. Ugh.

I really hope 2016 is not call-in-serious-reinforcements tough. And I wish you could get a break.

Anna (herding cats-burning soup) said...

I hope things calm down for yall and you get some good news.