Monday, September 21, 2020

September Check In

First off, I can't remember everything we did in September so far, but I feel like it has been a lot but also nothing at all, if that makes sense? When I list it out it seems like a lot but when I think back day to day, we've kind of done nothing? I've taken naps. That happened. Anyways. Let's talk about some things I vaguely remember because I have found sticky notes reminding me to write about them. Thank you, past Sara. 

School started September 1 and I know it is different and weird, but so far, so good. Lucy is in 4K (basically preschool) but she only gets to go two full days a week. I think she's the one most bummed about this, she would go every day if she could. I try to do school stuff with her when Penelope is at school but apparently, I am not as fun as her teachers. 
Penelope is in kindergarten this year and she was SO ready. Last year she was so shy and reluctant to go into the building, she'd cry on the playground, but this year? See ya, mom! She is a big kid and wants no help. Which is so great! She gets to go to school four days a week but have some work to do on the day they are off, which is just fine. She gets a school assigned tablet and she is all about it. She really took great pride showing us how to turn it on, log in, find her things on it, I was so impressed. 
Jackson is still at the middle school for seventh grade. I feel like it has been a bit of a bumpy start. He only goes two days a week as well but most of his friends are on the opposite days so having to find new people to hang out with, while maintaining good friendships, plus learning and adapting to a new way of school is hard. 
Olivia is in high school this year, a freshman. It feels so weird to say I have a high schooler, but I couldn't be more proud. She also goes two days a week, she's in Upward Bound and has mandatory tutoring sessions on Wednesdays but also a once a month Saturday thing, she works M-W in the mornings, she's in dance, she's just a little whirlwind. She's juggling it all really well, and soon she will have to start the ninth grade portion of her senior project. 
I haven't posted a whole lot lately but I'm still doing the weight loss thing. I am so close to hitting my goal of 160. I am crediting 10% of it to my walking routine and 90% of it to having a digestive system that isn't functioning well and nobody knows why. I can hardly eat. Right now I know I should eat, the thought of doing so makes me want to throw up. Honestly, if I start looking in the fridge for food I'll start to gag and maybe even throw up. It's horrible. I almost never feel hungry, and when I do eat I try to get protein in because I know I need it. I used to really like making my own salad but if you've never thrown up romaine lettuce within minutes of eating, consider yourself lucky, because it is awful. I haven't eaten a salad in at least two months because of it. My gastro doctor has essentially given up and is now sending me to pain management. The pain in my abdomen area does hurt, but I feel like the not eating but also non stop diarrhea (despite not eating, you'd think it would stop but SURPRISE, it does not) is more of an issue. What the heck do I know? 

I do know that I am now a size 12, which is where I was at when I got married so I honestly think I could fit into my wedding dress if I had to! This picture is me trying on jeans and not crying in a changing room. It was very exciting. 
I finished my last kit that I bought early quarantine! I don't love it, but it is cute enough to go on my wall! I am thinking about hand making Christmas cards again this year, I don't know if I have the ability to organize that like I used to, though. 
Oh yes, Olivia turned 15. She turned 15, I'm trying to figure out the cost of driver's ed so I can pay for that at some point. She's doing so much at her age and I am so stinking proud of her. Matt and I could not be more thrilled with how she's growing up. As our oldest she's kind of the test kid (sorry, babe!) so we're basically winging it, thankfully she takes it in stride. 
Oh yes, Penelope wants me to show you her cool mask and that she likes using baking sheets at school. Did I mention she's already doing math? This weekend she showed me how she does math on her fingers and I was like, dang! She's so smart and she knows it. She's also just the sweetest and some days when I get her she says, "I was thinking about you, I bet you knew that!" and I just want to squeeze her guts. 

Other than that, I can't think of anything? I've firmly settled into a depression low so I've ignored my phone mostly and taken naps because I don't feel like I'm mentally awake enough to engage with people. Does that make sense? I keep saying it feels like when you're on the verge of sleep, or you wake up in the middle of the night but are still half asleep? That's how I feel everyday. Last week I had an appointment with neurology and I didn't feel safe to drive at all because I was in that half asleep phase. Matt had to leave work to take me. I'm lucky he can do that, but I'm also grateful that I'm at least cognizant enough to know I shouldn't be driving. 

Alright. Happy Monday. I paid bills (even though I woke up in the middle of the night because I thought FOR SURE I've paid things on the wrong days and I really have to make two car payments today, turns out I'm just nuts) so we're broke (yay for consistency). Trying to pay down debt is so hard. 


Why Girls Are Weird said...

I cannot believe how grown up all your kids are. You are doing such a wonderful job with them.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

You do look amazing, but I hate that they can't figure out your whole digestive issues. That's awful you can barely eat, and throwing up certain foods is the WORST! omg.

I'm glad school is going well for the little ones. Penelope's mask is adorable, and she sounds so super smart. That's awesome. Sorry Lucy is bummed about only going to school a couple days, but I'm glad she's enjoying. That really sucks for Jackson though - not having friends the days he goes. I hope it gets better for him. And Olivia is just awesome. That's great she's doing so well and keeping busy!!

It's so weird that it's almost October now. Hopefully you have a good end of September!!