Thursday, November 12, 2009

Black Friday Countdown

Almost all of my friends refuse to shop on Black Friday. I only know a small handful of people who do shop on Black Friday yet the stores are mobbed. I love it. I love getting all of my shopping down in matter of 5 hours. Because that means I have the entire Christmas season to sit back and eat all of the baked goods I keep making for no reason and ponder the reason I can't lose weight.

Moving on...

I get a lot of leaked Black Friday ads online and kind of decide from those what people are getting. And in the past Matt and I used to go all out and get everyone lots of cool stuff but in recent years I've given up on that. I just buy for the kids and I get our siblings like a small thing or gift card because it gets too expensive. And nobody ever really wants what you get them unless it's really a big thing but who can do that? I know people who spend $800 or more on gifts and that to me is insane. Like you really don't have anything else to spend $800 on? Our banner year of spending was $500. Last year I got us right under $300. I am hoping to do that again this year, but we'll see. The kids last year got nice toys and games and I think I ended up getting them 7 things each. But I got them things I knew they'd love, thigns we could play together and let's be honest- things they could only play alone.

Last year Mom and I ventured out at 3 a.m. and went to Kohl's and Walmart. Target's ad sucked monkeys last year, but this year...looks better. SO, the plan is Kohl's at 3 a.m, Walmart at 5, and Target at 6. We go in, we get out. We know what we are looking for and tag team and help each other out. Someone waits in line while the other person shops. Easy cheesy peasy, man.

But what really gets me are:
  • the psychotic soccer moms who are out for blood on Black Friday. I mean really- they are just legos. And no, your child does not need the Xbox 360. He's probably overweight and ADD already- put that money toward some exercise equipment or meds. I mean jesus, people.

  • Then you have the people behind you in line who bitch about the lines. What did you expect? I guess if you are a BF virgin, but jeez- watch the news.

  • You have the people who get up to the checkout insisting they get the $5 gift card with the purchase even though the sign clearly states you don't, but because they are so fucking stupid and ignorant they continue to embarrass themselves over $5.

  • There are the people who use their cart to block an aisle off so they can look at everything at once. Really? Did it occur to you that MAYBE you should know what you are here for first instead of making people angry at you.

  • Let's not discount the violent people who run (while wearing heeled mules no less) through the store. RELAX. The last time I checked, toys don't get up and move around.

  • Oh, and my favorite- the eager eBay seller who thinks it's wise to buy every PlayDoh set on sale for $6 to turn a profit only. Guess what bitch? I? Am taking some of the shit out of your cart. Otherwise you can explain to my children why Santa was out of motherfucking playdoh.

So gear up folks! Stop paying your bills now so you can stimulate the economy by spending! Negotiate for higher balances on your credit cards so you can rack up more. And then have a nervous breakdown when you get your bills in January and realize that not only do you not remember what you got everyone but now you owe a lot and you have late fees. :) Thankfully, I won't have to do any of that because I? Have cash this year! Which actually means people will get less than last year, but that's ok. We'll survive. And maybe it's good to remember what Christmas is about rather than if you can outspend your relative.


Cristina said...

I hate Black Friday--HATE IT. Waking up at 4 a.m. to deal with crowds of a-holes? No thanks! I've done it a few times and it's never worth it for me because the one thing I'm at the store for is what everyone else is there for and the store only has like 2 of them as if they want to incite riots. I'll just stay home where it's safe and shop online. But, if you have the patience to do it you can score some really good deals.

Elbow someone in the stomach for me ...but you know, only if s/he is being a dick and totally deserves it ...add that to the reasons why I don't do Black Friday--my propensity for violence when people are being asses :-)

Jen Mc said...

You are MUCH braver than I! I avoid it like the plague!

Enjoy your shopping!