Thursday, April 8, 2010

$78 that Matt thought would be wasted. Again, I'm always right.

So about seven years ago, possibly eight I was shopping after work. Keep in mind I had just started my first REAL job after college (yes, I'm still there) and Matt and I had moved into an apartment we could barely afford. We lived literally pay check to pay check. We thought we were ballin with paychecks hitting $500 every two weeks. What bad asses we were!

But anyways. So I'm shopping at Younkers, pretty much the only place in Superior for decent clothes. It's expensive unless you get the senior discount and although you see all the yellow dot sales I'm completely incapable of doing math in my head so it's easier to just stay the hell away then try to figure out the price on something and be completely blindsided at the checkout.

I should also note that I am a polka dot whore. I love polka dots. It has dots- I must own it.

So I'm going through the racks and I see it. A black skirt with polka dots. Not regular dots but funky, brightly colored dots all over. I must have it. I see the skirt is a size 12 and I think "Fuck. Too small. AND it's $78. Ouch." So I walk away. But I don't really walk away, I do this thing when I shop where I compare it to what a shark would do with a human on a surf board with it's feet dangling in the water. I basically circle it. I make sure nobody comes near it while I am convincing myself that YES, this is a necessary purchase. YES, this is credit card worthy. (Meanwhile I'm calling the number on the back of my card to make sure I have an available balance and oh my god I have $90 left on my card! But then I think, "shit, have I bought other stuff and what the hell- how did I make that big of a payment?!")

I decided that in the end, I was going to buy it. It was too small by one size and I'll just lose the weight. I'll stop eating for two weeks and it'll be fine.

Well I never lost the weight. Instead I got bigger, ballooning to my heaviest at a size 16. Meanwhile, that skirt was in the bottom drawer of my dresser. With the tags still on. And every time we'd do the great purge and I'd get rid of stuff that no longer fit, I'd see that skirt and knew I had to keep it. It was too damn cute to throw away. I couldn't even give it away knowing I spent, literally, my last $78 on it back in the day when I had no business shopping anyway. But I just knew that eventually, whether through actual exercise and watching my diet, future probably cancer treatments, or picking up an eating disorder, that it would fit me. Eventually.

So yesterday I was getting dressed for work, had a cute top on and dreading the fact I'd have to iron some pants. I hate ironing and thank god Matt can do it without ruining stuff and does a semi-decent job because he does it all. Well, I forgot to set my pants out so I had to do it. But then I saw the skirt. And figured- what the hell. Let's try it.

That son of a bitch fit! I started jumping around and screaming which freaked not only the cats but my children out. I mean, it WAS only 6:03 in the morning.

So I wore the skirt that has eluded me for almost eight years. And I paired them with my favorite black heels- the mary jane wannabe's. My calves look ridiculous. My thighs are still bigger than I'd like, but they have gotten smaller and way more toned than before. And the my bubble of an ass is still there- which I'm OK with. I don't want to lose my ass. It brings the boys to the yard yo.

See the dots? Aren't they fabulous?! I saw that Target sells an umbrella with almost the same pattern and I have to have it. I don't care that it's $20. But I don't own an umbrella and I always am reminded of this when it's raining and I'm the only asshole without an umbrella. And then I get mad that I did my hair and makeup knowing full well I don't have an umbrella; therefore, this will all be a wasted effort as soon as I step outside.


Anyways. So I went to work in a GREAT mood feeling like the hot bitch that I really am and I'm strutting my ass to the door like it's nobody's business when I hear a whistle.

Now I'm sorry- but if a guy whistles at me, I'm flattered. I'm sucking that in like I'm a show dog in the championship. Then I look and realize it's a guy who was just let out of the county jail. Conveniently located across the street from where I work.


And when I got home from work- Matt noticed I had a skirt on, said I looked nice. But NEVER realized that it wasn't just any skirt. It was THE skirt that he yelled at me for blowing our grocery money. THE skirt I would never get rid of despite the fact a size 12 skirt size was as elusive to my ass as the loch ness monster in Lake Superior. It was THE skirt that I would take out once a year, try on, then cry, then ask does it look super obvious that it doesn't fit and then he would get so mad at me and tell me to buy something bigger. It was THE skirt that I fell in love with. I think it's one of a few things I can say makes me believe in love at first sight. Actually it was the skirt AND the shoes I was wearing in these pictures.

But the skirt now? My bitch.

But this also reaffirms that Sara is always right.


Julie H said...

Woohooo that's awesome!!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

First, I LOVE polka dots too. A lot. Possibly to an unhealthy extent.

Second: YAY! You are a ROCKSTAR!

Leanne said...

Fantastic! Love the skirt - love the story - love it all. Thanks for sharing it. I have a "skirt" in the bottom of my drawer, too. Not quite ready to try it on, but you have given me hope. Love that!

Another David said...

Hahaha, if I were Matt, I'd probably have been pretty pissed, too. But the skirt does look good.

Danielle said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That's awesome! You go girlfriend! HA!

Blue Disastrous said...

Ahh! Congratulations!! It does look awesome on you, WITH the shoes. Obviously it was destiny. And that is why you HAD to buy it. And now you look great and feel fabulous, which is always wonderful! ^_^

Karls said...

Gotta love when that shit happens! There is no better feeling! You go girl!

Lin said...

Yay to fitting into the skirt! You look fab :)

Unknown said...

Yay! This blog was strangely inspiring and it made me smile :) Great job! Keep up the good work!

____j said...

You look great, Sara! I can totally see why you fell in love with the skirt....super cute :)

Jandy xx said...

aww,you look amazing woman, you'd def get a wolf whistle from me!!! and i havent just got out of jail, bonus!!!

hey, i just saw what you wrote on karlys page, youre beautiful, i think you would have made her day xx

Shanel said...

Oh girl I know the feeling... I've been working really hard to loose weight and fit back into my 12s.... I have about 10 lbs to loose and I think I'll be there... congrats because I know how awesome it is to fit back into clothes that you haven't worn.... I'm doing that as we speak.... so yeah be a hot chick today and everyday... it feels good:)

Snoozie said...

That skirt is way cute and you rock it girl!!! congrat's for fitting into it, I know how that feels and it is the best feeling. You do own it, it is your bitch. But what happens if it doesn't fit because you loose even more???

Anonymous said...

I know and appreciate the feeling of getting into a smaller size - not that it has happened to me lately, but I vaguely remember it happening many moons ago.

Keep up the weight loss girl!!

SpiritPhoenix said...

I LOVE that you did it. I'm guilty of this at times too. Though usually, I give up. Or it fit like 5 years ago, but I can't part with it.


Gini said...

AWESOME!!! What an effing sweet side benefit to weight loss! You do look like a hawt bitch. NICE!

Green Stone said...

Awesome!!! It is such a cute skirt and you look fantastic in it!

Amber said...

Yay!!! Adorable skirt/shoes combo!!!! I'm still in that barely-surviving paycheck-to-paycheck (my husband's, because I skipped college and can't find a fucking job)mode, so I have never spent close to that amount on anything for my wardrobe. I can honestly say that at LEAST 85% of my clothes and shoes came from Goodwill or a garage sale. I dream of having a day when I can buy nice polka dots!

This time last year I was in a size 12, and a few months before that, a 14. Today I wear a 7. And if I can do it, ANYONE can. And I mean ANYONE, because I am the laziest bitch with the most ridiculous sugar addiction you've ever seen.

So YAY for you....once you've gotten a good start on it all, it's all downhill from there!

Jeezis....sorry about writing an autobiography in your comments!

Chicken said... one sexy bitch. It's amazing the attention you can get by just putting on a skirt. Skirts are what I call "easy access" one stiff breeze and your lady parts are out there and up for grabs.

Unknown said...

Nice skirt! You look great, Ma! Congrats! I collect knee high socks and the polka dot ones are the best! Word.

Morgan said...

A. You are an amazing story teller.
B. I miss Younkers! I worked there for ages and was the QUEEN of Yellow Dot! Truck day would come and I'd eye up all the new pieces, and then, since I conveniently worked in Juniors, I would strategically shuffle, stash, hide my faves until yellow dot came around!
C. You look hot. Nice work!

Proof that clothing is meant to be and that we must always save our skinny clothes!

Anonymous said...

That is freakin' great! And we have definately been separated at birth or something b/c I am obsessed with polka dots too! They would call me 'dottie' until I told them the next day they needed something more clever.

Ashley said...

That's so awesome!!! You look amazing. :)

I have a cute pair of boyfriend pants that I bought 4 years ago when I started college. I was able to wear them for a few months before they no longer fit because I started gaining my college weight. I SO want to be able to wear them again. :(

Sam said...

The fuckmill is obviously doing its job, you look great. Cute skirt, make sure to rub it in Matt's face every time you wear it, or start telling him he needs to go buy a bigger size shirt or something mean.

Maybe the guy was just visiting a friend in jail? Or he was next door at the police station, registering his new address because he's some creepy sex offender...we may never know!

AaronBillyMacHarlan said...

ok this post is funnier than the car with the carpet sticking out of the window... laughed my ass off several times!