Thursday, May 13, 2010

Domestic Bitch Friday. Episode Four. And then an update on me. Because some of you care.

Welcome back, bitches. I'm getting a *little* nervous because these posts aren't getting much love. Whore them out because I said so. So Mel is awesome and running the show for us on this. I like to play with boys and girls and so I play with Mel. Mel rocks. Anyways. So we do a freebie, food, and a project.

I have to start with the freebies. Because I found some fun ones, yall.

Homemade Soap- HERE

  • SOS Night Fever Hangover Relief (in time for the weekend!)- HERE

  • Body Heat Patches (for if you get super drunk and then fall and hurt yourself)- HERE (this one asks for you to say which magazine you read...just pick one)

  • Edge Shaving Gel- HERE (click on the drop down menu on the top right, click on "free stuff". If nothing else- you can watch the three pretty ladies talk to you in sexy voices on repeat.)

  • Colon Cancer Screening Kit- HERE (shut up, you know you think you have weird stuff wrong with you, too)

  • Dunkin Donuts Coffee Sample- HERE (it may not be as good as the store making it for you...but here you can get a free sample. Love ya Danielle!!)

  • Free Dairy Queen Blizzard- HERE (seriously. My favorite is a special mix with peanuts, chocolate, and brownie pieces. You'll thank me later.)

So my recipe is a throw back to my Dairy Queen days. I learned how to make home made Buster Bars and since then have played with different recipes using the same technique.

Behold- Sara's Super Fabulous Pudding Pops. (It's so easy even a caveman can do it.)

Make one package of chocolate pudding as directed (or any kind of pudding, really). Once that's done, mix in about 1/2 to 1 cup of cool whip. Mix together gently. Line up some Dixie cups, fill with pudding mixture. Put a popsicle stick in it, freeze.

Once they are frozen you get to eat them. To be a talentless loser you could peel the Dixie cup away and eat. If you want to be awesome like your leader- run the Dixie cup under hot water for a few seconds, then kind of squeeze and pull the cup- the pop should come right out. Enjoy in the taste and delight of being awesome like me. You could also get fancy and add some nuts, crushed cookies, etc to the pudding mixture but whatevs. I like mine like this.

My project is lame. Sorry. Basically I rid my house of baby items. I'm sad. No joke. I'll post about it in depth (you know how I roll) next week some time. But I got rid of the bottles, finished taking baby stuff out of Jackson's room, cleaned linen closets of baby stuff. Big SADS. BUT, it is super nice to have room to put other stuff.

OK- so that's my Domestic Bitch post. Now on to the heavy stuff.

I may be spotty with posting although you know I will do my absolute best to post nightly anyways. There are only a few things that prevent me from doing that: brain tumors, migraines, lack of internet access, and death. And all three of those feel like death so you'll see how I come full circle. Anyways.

I am going on a trip next weekend, and I have made some pretty heavy decisions about my life that I will fill you all in as soon the time is right. I feel like I am moving in a positive direction but I will tell you all again: I'm not pregnant, I'm not dying, I'm not getting divorced, I'm not homeless, I haven't killed anyone, I'm not really a man, I have not been contacted by aliens, and my midget neighbor still doesn't want to be my friend. In fact I think she moved out. But trust me when I tell you to keep your panties together...I will explain very soon.

And I will be honest- I have been wishy washy this entire week about it and then last night it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like the decision was made for me, and I just am going to go with it. It might be a mistake, I might regret it in a month, but then...maybe I won't. We'll see. The time has come my friends- this bitch is moving to greener pastures. Or at least some with less shit to walk around. Stay tuned... ;)


The Insatiable Host said...

hey luvs. ok, so it's killing me to read these posts..I really thought you were going to say that you and the midget next door are lesbian lovers now...i guess we'll have to wait and see how you come out of the "closet" you are in...

good luck with this weekend and i really hope to god it's a good one for ya!!!!!



Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Dear Sara,

Thank you for the free DQ Blizzard. You obviously know the way to my heart.

However this posts are making me want to gouge my eyes out with a spork.

You're killing me!

Love, puppies and kittens,

Anonymous said...

Ohmygosh, I have a little person neighbor, too! At least I think I do, but I haven't met her yet...I think I'll take her some pudding pops as a welcome present...

Pins and needles awaiting your news...

Alpha Za said...

Have a good weekend, and we're all looking forward to the great reveal!

where you heading?

Shanel said...

yeah i log on right before bed just to see what's up with you...we want to know the biz... I'm wondering if it's a new job or something or if you're increasing your etsy business or something... anyhow... you haven't lost me... I still LOVE your blog.

Sam said...

I STILL LOVE YOUR BLOG!! I will admit I have fallen behind, and when I caught up on the last few posts, I got super nervous...

Have you ever thought what it would really feel like to get hit with an actual ton of bricks? I figure kinda like being hit by a bus, either way, its going to hurt, and you will probably fall.

What's life if you don't take risks, i'm 99.9% positive things will work out for the best, and if not, i'm sure a lot of people will back me up when I say that you have so many places to turn for help. :) Sorry about the lack of blog love, i'm getting back into the swing of things.

NikkiAnn said...

Are you getting a new job? Or thinking of getting a new job? Or thinking about going to school?

Have a good weekend!

Miranda said...

I'm anxiously awaiting your news... so I'm gonna settle my nerves with a frickin DQ Blizzard. Props for that.

I'm sure that whatever decision you've made is a brilliant one because well.... you're kinda kick ass. Mad love momma! (not like angry love with whips and chains but like... super love).

Jandy xx said...

I'm missing your sexy self around these blog parts lover! am holding my breath waiting for this news! rather than babies, or moving to Aus, I'm now thinking youve decided to be a stay at home mom??? yeah, they call me nancy drew, I'm good like that! ;) whatever it is, i'm hoping its good, and will bring you back as my favorite blogging bitch very very soon! thinking of you, as always!

Another David said...

Well that was pretty vague, haha. Looking forward to hearing about it? I guess? Hope it's a good change?

Veronica M. D. said...

UM, you better tell us what is going on soon or I will KILL YOU.