Sunday, June 20, 2010

Toddlers Gone Wild

Undeniably, I have super duper adorable kids. They make me super happy (most of the time) and I don't regret becoming a mommy even though my life has changed ten fold. While there are some days where I'm so happy to be a mom I can barely stand it....
...there are also some days where I think, "What the fuck was I thinking and what have my loins produced?!"

Friday was one of those days. Most days my kids get up at 6:30 in the morning and they seriously operate like clockwork. It's disgusting. They also haven't figured out the joys of sleeping in, but whatever. Usually I can wake up, get them cereal/milk and turn on Jack's Big Music Show and get another hour of sleep on the couch.

On Friday I woke up to Jackson standing next to my bed saying "water". Obviously I'm annoyed he's up this early but I don't understand why he wants water instead of his milk. So he's saying "water" repeatedly and grabbing my hand and saying "come". (Which he does all of the time so this was not unusual.) What WAS unusual was seeing water dripping on the top stair which is carpeted. And the casually noticing that the entire hallway is covered in water, there's a towel on the floor, Olivia is in her room acting like she's clueless about the flood and the bathroom sink is overflowing.

Because SOMEBODY (*cough* Olivia *cough*) put her Smurfette in the sink and SURPRISE! It will cause a sink to overflow. So I asked Olivia why she didn't just turn the water off and I got the response "Because we couldn't get to it." Obviously- because while it wasn't quite ankle deep it did cover my foot and I could easily swish water around. The water got into their rooms and it took me an entire hour to clean it up.

Needless to say, I was pissed. I could have killed. Normally it's no big deal because it's just water, BUT the sink base cabinet? Water leaked into it and the inside bottom? Bubbling up. Nice. Matt was thrilled to see our sink cabinet, only 4 years old or so, is ruined on the inside. *sigh*

Oh-- but that's not all.

Once they realized a flood was happening and they couldn't fix it, they decided to pass their time coloring.

On my mother fucking dining room walls.
I saw this masterpiece at approximately 8 am, only 5 minutes after getting off the phone with Matt who calls us on his break to see how we're doing. He didn't like to hear the water story, but after I got off the phone with him and saw THIS? I texted him with, "Hi. You need to come home at one. I may kill your children otherwise." He then called me on his lunch to ask what was going on and when I told him to get excited to paint?

Matt was not happy.

I can honestly say at the very moment that I was recuperating from the flood and then seeing this I know what causes mothers to kill their kids. The vision went through my head and when Olivia asked, "Mommy? Are you going to cry?" I replied with, "Yes. Yes, Mommy is going to cry and you should be in your room because anything mommy might say while crying will be bad words."

Needless to say, my kids were in their room for the rest of the morning while I tried every method I could find online to clean the wall. No such luck. Nothing worked. We are going to have to paint the walls again. Yes, I said walls. Because when I showed Matt the wall when he came home? I noticed that the red wall has artwork as well. Lovely.


Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Ugh Sara, that SUCKS!

I remember when I was a kid I was playing around in my parents bedroom and somehow managed to overflow their bathroom sink. I didn't realize it was overflowing till it was all over the bathroom floor and seeping into their bedroom. So little me tried cleaning it all up and I somehow knocked my dad's razor off the sink and managed to cut myself.

Looking back, I feel SO bad for my mom! There she was freaking out over her flooded bathroom AND a bleeding, most likely screaming bloody murder child.

It's lucky my parents survived me.

Ashley said...

Have you tried a Mr Clean Magic eraser?

Annah said...

Ayyyy :( That is horrible my friend. I know there's no comparison at all here but sometimes my dogs make me feel like this. Whenever there's thunder and they start barking and crying and howling all at the same time or whenever they pee or vomit on my bed (yesterday) and I have to sleep without covers and pay $10.00 for dry cleaning or whenever I have a friend over and Mikey barks like hell or tries to bite someone. Ugh! I call those the drowning moments. I'm like "What in the f*ck possessed me to rescue THREE dogs and why would it be a such a bad thing if I drowned one, or two?" lol. Those are my rock bottom moments. I do a nice breathing exercise and then go back to loving them. Ahhhhh. I tell you.

____j said...

I never flooded a room, but I definitely expressed myself artistically on my walls. Ooooops :)

Annah said...

p.s. YOU DO have beautiful children.

Ruth said...

OMG, I am so glad my one and only is 13. I can sleep without fearing the worst. When they are little, you have to sleep with one ear and one eye open.

Chicken said...

I know you're upset right now, and you've probably cooled down just enough that I can leave my comment without fear of a crazied mommy hunting me down and running me over with her car.

My comment:


Thanks for the laugh ;)

Sadako said...

Aww! But your kids are still too cute.

AaronBillyMacHarlan said...

If it makes you feel any better Craig and I have already flooded our new garage twice and we've only been moved in to our new place for three weeks (the first time was our fault, the second was due to a leak in the washing machine hose). And so twice we have had to bust ass hauling all our crap out into the back patio and leaving it out all day to dry. Luckily nothing was damaged and our neighbor who's garage is connected to ours is super laid back and wasn't worried about his things getting wet too.

Jenn said...

Oh goodness! Well, if it makes you feel any better, my sister and I have flooded my Mom's house and I had to clean marker off the wall and sauce off the chairs after the last visit from the kids. I would also suggest a Mr. Clean magic eraser, it worked for me. Good Luck!

Jeanette said...

That is terrible lol but yeah, I second that Mr. Clean, magic eraser.

Jen said...

Wow, what a crapola week for you. I feel your pain. Hope the nachos, at least, were yum!

LaraLev said...

I hear it's harder to kid's to draw on walls and overflow sinks when they're in handcuffs.

Anonymous said...

It is hard to contain my laughter right now, because I don't want to see your head explode. I will just continue to snicker behind my hand.

My husband is a twin. He was the good twin, and his brother was the bad twin. When his brother was four, he got up in the middle of the night and painted all the kitchen cabinets and appliances from where he could reach to the floor. (They were renovating the house and he had seen his father open a paint can.) Imagine everything from about four feet high to the floor being robin's egg blue.

Fucking sucks and t is illegal to kill them.

Sometimes there is just no justice.

Another David said...

When I was three, my friend and I decided our stuffed animals needed a bath. You can imagine how that turned out hahaha

I say don't repaint the walls. Wait til the kids are old enough to do it themselves and then make them.

Anonymous said...

Laughing. This was such an entertaining visual! You have quite a way with words.

Sam said...

I have only ever been the victim of an overflowing toilet. Thanks to the person before that used three and a half rolls to wipe with, I don't know why, but a toilet overflowing or threateningly close to it scares the shit out of me. What you said in response to Olivia asking if you were going to cry was hilarious. :)