Friday, November 5, 2010

I was going to blow your mind...

...but I went on a date with my sister in law to see the movie Due Date instead. Sorry.

But if it makes you feel any better the movie was so god damn fantastic. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Except for when I watched The Hangover the first time but I kind of feel like this one took it even further. If you don't go and see this movie your life will suck and I might not be your friend.

Anyways. The trip TO and FROM the theatre was fun. On the way there I had to stop at the ATM to get cash because you have to pay to park but you get your money back when you buy a ticket so I don't know why we're paying to park, but ANYWAYS. I'm at the ATM and this guy starts walking up to me so I'm like, "Listen, asshole- if you think you're getting my $5-because that's all I have in my account-you can have it but know I'll have your balls." And the guy was all, "Fuck you whore! I just wanted to see if you have a lighter." OK mister sketchy mcsketch. I totally saw him smoking when I pulled up, so he had a lighter. Anyways. He kept walking and my $5 wasn't even needed to park because they had no attendant. So my wasn't-really-but-could-have-been-potential-mugging wasn't even warranted.

The dumbest part is I totally forgot to tell Kate about that. But when I got to the theatre there was a HUGE line of people-like 50- buying tickets for Due Date, so instead of chancing it- I bought her ticket and mine and just waited for her.

After the movie, I had to walk across the parking lot to get to the van and I saw a bunch of weirdos standing in the darkest part of the lot pointing at people. Which I'm sorry, but for someone who is terrified of the dark anyways, doesn't help. So I ran like a girl and locked my doors. Then I tried texting my buddy Matt about the movie which was fun because I was so cold my kidneys were convulsing. I had to wait for awhile to get out obviously, which was ok. It's hard to drive when you're shaking really hard. You pretty much look like a drunk driver which I kind of want to avoid.

So once I get going I take a shortcut to the bridge (because this was in Duluth and I live in Superior- you cross over one of two main bridges to get back and forth over the state line) on Railroad Street. Which is really dark, full of railroad tracks and it's basically factories you're driving by. So once I get down there and take the ramp to get to Wisconsin, I see a bunch of deer. Not strange since they hang out by the roads like fucking idiots but you know- I just haven't seen one by an on ramp. I've see fox and wolves, but never deer. Anyways. So I'm driving up the ramp, doing 55 and once I get on the bridge, I get into the left lane so I can do my 70 mph in a 55 and out of NOWHERE on the middle of the bridge I see a fucking deer galloping. On the bridge. No grass around- it's a fucking bridge above Lake Superior. It's galloping in the right lane so I slow down thinking I'm going to freak it out and it'll try to turn and then I'll hit it and maybe die. No- the fucking deer looks at me like, " Sup, bitch?" and continues galloping. I honk, nothing. Looks at me like I'm the jackass. So I basically floor it and from behind me I hear brakes squealing, horns blaring, etc because of the deer. I'm sure there is now a dead deer on the bridge but I'm not about to go back and check it out. But it scared the shit out of me. I've never seen a deer on the bridge.

Ok- so I get back into Superior and it's no big blood pressure has gone back to normal and I'm warming up now that the heat has kicked in. I'm driving down Tower, which is one of the main drags in town, and when I get into South Superior I see a crowd of maybe 20 drunks playing in the road. Honestly- it would have been fun to play chicken with them but I had to turn to my house before I seen them. But as I pulled in front of my house I could hear horns blaring. I haven't heard sirens so nobody is dead. I think.

But I'm home now and I'm tired. I have a birthday party for my friend's son tomorrow and I'm going to help set up and clean up. I need to get started on cleaning my house in the morning so I need to get some sleep. I finished a GREAT book last night so I'm going to do some book reviews for you tomorrow so I can put these books back on the shelf since I stack 'em on my desk until I review them. :)

Ta ta to your tata's lambwhores!


Unknown said...

I effing hate deer so friggin much. I live in B.F.E so it's like dodging squirrels some days. Except you know, more deadly.

after reading your review, i may actually spend the money and see due date in the theaters. especially after comparing it to the hangover. now my hopes are high.

Julie H said...

Wow that was quite the adventure! Sounds like kind of a scary place to live lol.

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I love how even a night that should be perfectly normal totally turns into a great story for you.

And that is why we are friends.

Unknown said...

What a ride that was and so many sightings of weird, drunk, night creatures. Glad you made it home safely. Will have to make sure I see the movie soon. We have a lot of deer here in NC as well and mostly I use the interstate since there are less of them than on the back roads when it's dark. I have been lucky so far. Hope you have an awesome weekend and hope the party goes real well.

Anonymous said...

Haha....."Sup bitch"..

Fucking classic.

Jean Has Been Shopping said...

Adding Due Date to my list of must see movies.
Glad you avoided the wayward deer!

DLK said...

Freekin' deer on bridges!!! Loved the post :)

Lost said...

Sounds like an interesting night. So you have now seen a fox, wolves, and deer. But have you ever seen a KIWI? No way! You know why? They are way too freakin' awesome to be seen, that's why ;)

____j said...

Never a dull moment in the life of Sara.

Ang said...

first, I hate deer. period end of story, stop talking about them.

second - what the fuck is wrong with people where you live?! Can I blame this on the fact that they are Wisconsinites?

Another David said...

So I drove to an from Ohio this weekend, and all I could think about was how many more deer there were dead on the side of the road in Ohio than anywhere else. Seriously, there were more in Ohio than Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Maryland COMBINED. I feel like they should be an endangered species by now or something. It's ridiculous.