Friday, January 7, 2011

Dear Sara... vlog

Before I get into our Dear Sara post... I need to say HELLO to the 5 new lambwhores/goatsluts! If you get offended by being called such things you are most certainly in the wrong place.

OK. Let us just get right into our Dear Sara post because I have a lot of great questions. So thank you.

1. What would you do if you found out your daughter thinks she's bisexual? And you found out this info when she left her facebook logged in on your phone and you snooped through her crap. (It is your phone right?)  First off, I will say that you have EVERY right as a parent to go through anything your kids are doing so long as they are under 18. And even if they are over 18 and they are living rent free in your house and you are paying the phone bill, internet bill, etc... by all means- see what they are up to. But back to your question. Think about it for a bit. Does it matter to you that she might be bisexual? Will you love her any less? Would she be any less of a person if she were? She's the same person as before she just has an extra special quality to her. And that's ok. I think parents freak out about this because most of us (me included) are raised to think the "norm" is to be in a guy-girl relationship. And that just isn't the norm any more. So I wouldn't dwell on that so much. BUT I would try to talk to her. You can say something like, "You know- I was on the phone and I accidentally saw your Facebook page. And I know I don't have to worry about anything on there because I trust you, but I saw that you were maybe questioning stuff about you. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to talk about it?" Be neutral and calm. Maybe she's scared to say something to you. I was married and 22 when I got pregnant and I was terrified to tell my mom even though I had no reason to be. So maybe approaching it in a way she knows that you are on her side no matter what. Especially now- look how many kids are ashamed of who they are when they are born that way- it's terrible and sad. So be supportive and be there for her. I'm sure it's a tough time for her.

2. Do you have certain TV shows that you never miss? What is it about the show that sucks you in? The only show that I will schedule my ENTIRE LIFE around is True Blood. I have been a huge fan of all of the books and I love, love, love the show. If season 4 does not start out with a very naked Vampire Eric I am firing off a very heated letter to HBO. We saw his ass last season.... viewers need to see the front. For staying-true-to-the-book purposes. Clearly. But what draws me in is my love of vampires. They scare the shit out of me but honestly? How hot would that be? Bite me, baby. Rawr.

3. What is your earliest memory? My earliest memories are not good ones, but the one that I remember most often is when I was around 2 or 3. It was night time and I remember sitting on the couch with a family friend. Basically my mom and biological dad were fighting, glass breaking, etc. It isn't something I like to talk about because it's not a good memory but I remember everything and I remember what it felt like in that moment. Being terrified, confused, and sad. It's not something a little kid should see but my dad didn't seem to care.

4. Do you have a favorite line from a show or movie? Honestly? I really suck at remembering movie/show lines. But the one I do remember is from season 3 of True Blood where Tara starts crying and her abusive kidnapper/would-be lover, Franklin is like, "What's the matter Tara? Did someone hurt you? I'll kill him!" and she cries and says, "No! No, it's just... it's just that I'm hungry. And they brought me day lillies. And I can't eat day lillies." I don't know why- but that cracks me up. HA!

5. If you had to get jiggy with Carrot Top or Richard Simmons--who do you pick? Girl, that is sick as fuck. Honestly. *barf in mouth* But if I absolutely HAD to... I'd say Carrot Top. Because at least he's in shape. And it'd probably be quick. But Richard would be squealing and the shorts would throw me off and I would envision him giving you the pep talk like, "You can do it! You can do it honey!" and that is just too much. Too fucking much.

But SURPRISE my lovely whores! It's my first vlog. And before you watch it- keep in mind a few things:
1. I want you to comment and leave your opinions either here, or on the blog of my wonderful question girl. You can read the entire story (here) that I'm using to answer her question.
2. I think I have a double chin.
3. My makeup and hair are whack ass. BUT it is late at night and I've been up since oh... 2 am. More on that later.
4. My crazy is tamed down because I'm tired. Bear with me. ;)

As always, I have more questions but those will carry onto next week, so if you sent me one and don't see it here... don't fret my pet! It's coming. Send any questions about me or ask me about your life's problems by emailing me at:


Jennifer Kay said...

I would not be a true lambwhore if I lied...5 minutes and 27 seconds was to long. Good first try but even Jon said "if she's not showing boobs, tell her she needs to cut that shit in half.

I saw no double chin and now I know what you really talk like in real life so that is fun!

I think it's funny that the camera tried to focus on you every time you moved, stupid camera.

Yeah for five new followers! I think you should move the followers to the top of your page so people can see it better and not have to scroll all the way down to find it. People love you.

The Mrs. said...

Fun Fact: The Mutha actually did contact the Dr. Phil show via email. They called THE.NEXT.DAY. She thinks it's because of the brother/sister turmoil. REALLY? It has nothing to do with the 21/40 couple???? Hahahaha...Thanks, Sarah. Glad you enjoyed! I totally pissed my pants laughing! Now that I've puked it all over the blog world I feel tons better....and honestly, it hasn't come to mind once. So you healed me with those lamb-whore-fingers.

I'm feeling pretty whore-a-riff-ic being the first v-log and all! V-Log featured button??? ;)

Again thanks!

kimberrleigh said...

Such a great vlog! :) I'm starting to vlog too :P We can not only be blog buddies but vlog buddies (LOL I'm so stupid..)

And 5:27 is not that long. Has anyone ever actually watched a vlog? I don't think so, that's how long the most popular vlogs usually are.

And you sound EXACTLY how I pictured you to :P Love you dear!

Oilfield Trash said...

Your answers always crack me up.

And good job on the vlog.

Shirley said...

Good job on the vlog! But I have to tell you vlog reminds me of venereal log....don't know why.

Katie P said...

I love the way you say about! i love the vlog!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

SARA! Grr. I miss you! Not fair.

And now I need to do a vlog. I am jealous.

Miranda said...

Its official. I love you more than I thought I did. One day I'm gonna upgrade my life, get a laptop that doesn't suck ass, and a webcam it'll I will vlog the shiz of the shiz with you... All up in this grill... Or something. Yay!!! Can't wait for next week. Oh and yeah just make sure your friend packs those toilet seat cover things - I bet the seats at Maury are infested with disease.

Mr O said...

Don't take this the wrong way, but you look young in that video. I swear if I didn't know your story, I would think late teens/early 20s young.

Northern accents are fascinating to me. I was just smiling at them the whole time I was in South Dakota.

Kind of a random first topic, but I will go with it. From now on, you should play the piano part on "What Sarah Said" as your intro in the videos. Just sayin.

Also, I believe I was pretty mature at 21.

Anna @ The Owl and The Phoenix said...

I love the 'stabby'. I'm totally going to start using that =)

Anonymous said...

I loved the vlog!! Your answers are always funny and truthful, maybe the truth can be funny. Great job :)

middle child said...

I love you even more now that I've seen your vlog. Cougar? Men MY age aren't even grown up. What would I want with someone who only wants to watch cartoons everyday?

____j said...

I never even thought about you having an accent! But it's so funny/cute! The vlog was cool, except when it kept auto focusing in and out.

Ang said...

first of all - your answer to #5 is epic! seriously.

second... next post should be a critique of yourself on the vlog and all the comments about you having an accent - because you and I both know that you don't! haters.

Josie said...

Aaaahh! I was so looking forward to this, and I can't hear you! I have to fix this shit now.

AmberLaShell said...

I really liked your vlog.. I love the way you say about.. sounds like your saying a boot.. hehehe I'm from texas so i sound all country, and I would make a vlog, but i think you would all laugh at me... :) great answers to all the questions...

____j said...

P.s. Matt was not pretty mature at 21. Don't let him fool you.

Chicken said...

Carrot Top is a double bag job for sure one over his dick and one over his head. Ewwwwwwwwwww. I can't see a ball gag hurting the situation either.

Julie H said...

Love your voice and cute little northern accent :)

New weird chick at work said her husband is 24 years younger. EWWWW