Friday, March 4, 2011

Talk Sex with Dear Sara (and giveaway winners announced)

I'm amazed at how pervy my lambwhores are. Which I suppose with a name like "lambwhores" you wouldn't expect anything other than pervy. This week we are taking it back to sex and your questions.

1. Think back 10 years ago. What 5 things would Sara then tell the Sara now? Well let's think back what I was doing when I was 19 first. I was engaged to my first real boyfriend, in college, and getting ready to move into my first apartment. It was a time full of changes and "I totally know everything" and boy was I really effing off the mark. So to limit it only to 5 things..
  • Dump the boyfriend. He's a liar and you secretly know it but are too in lurve to really believe it. Dump him because you can (and eventually will) do a thousand times better. (Your future husband will have an actual job and you won't have to pay for his ass all of the time and even when you're broke he'll spend his last dollar to get you a McFlurry. With M&M's even.)
  • Don't move into that apartment. At $585 per month you are being raped with a blunt object in, at the time, your exit only hole. Your apartment will have no heat, the bathroom floods and none of the appliances are safe to use. And you have pigeons living in the closets for real.
  • When you finally do dump the boyfriend after moving into the apartment- don't expect him to act rationally. He's going to trash your stuff and not give any of it back.
  • Also don't date your boss. He's a loser with a criminal record and because you'll date him anyways you'll gain a stalker for 6 months. She's crazy and always carry something heavy in your purse. Because you just won't know what to expect.
  • Moving back home sucks as much as you thought it would. But instead of taking advantage of the rent free living and blowing all of your money on clothes because now you're back in the dating world and have to look hot... how 'bout you save some of your money from working your 3 jobs. And STOP USING YOUR CREDIT CARD you silly whore.
2. I have a friend who I have a really hard time relating to. She's really a nice person but every time we hang out, I feel like it's always about her. Sure, I get to talk, but she always changes it back to something about her. Consequently, I don't think she knows really anything about me. What should I do? Dude. Your friend sucks. I have had friends like that and I'm going to tell you that if she's a relatively new friend... she probably won't hang around long. The thing about people like this is that they really need to be the center of attention all of the time. They might say they don't want to be, but clearly that's not true if they always change it back to them. I'm torn whether I think people are really cognizant/aware that they do this though. Some people genuinely don't know I'm sure, and you should maybe start by saying something to them about it. If your friend kind of blows it off as nonsense or jumps on the defense.. I'd go ahead and maybe start distancing myself. With that kind of reaction it's clear they know what they are doing and don't really care. But I'm a big believer in being upfront and honest if a person has said or done something that either bothers or upsets you. And on the other hand, if your friend isn't aware they are like this.. maybe they'll be receptive and try to be a little more aware the next time you guys hang out. It's a learning curve, but I believe most people strive to be better when something possibly negative is pointed out.

3. What sex toy would you recommend for a couple that gives mutual enjoyment? I'm not going to put pictures on here for time sake but I have to be honest- vibrating cock rings are really super. They are a soft ring that slides onto the penis and the vibrating ones have a little bullet vibe that stimulates you.. either on your clitoris or your back door. (Men- use lube when putting this on unless chafing turns you on.) I don't think people should just purchase a toy and spring it on a person in the moment. Go online together and you each pick out three things, and then let the other person pick one thing from the other's list and go with it. Toys are meant to be fun. But that's one toy that I really recommend. The other thing is to go to a website like EdenFantasys and check out their "couple" section.

4. How many times a week should a couple have sex? How much is too much or too little. I could do it every day but I know my husband would not do it every single day. If I am lucky we average 3 times a week. Do you think this is normal? I have a few toys and sure, I used them sometimes when I need to get by, but I prefer the real thing and would even do all the work if it meant it was the only way it would happen. I'm also not talking about oral or anything I mean full on intercourse.  What do you think?  (and I realize it's a long vlog. But I had winners to announce, a shout out, and I did my best trimming this down. I've done it SIX times.. seriously. I'm done trying.)

The winner of the book giveaways were announced in the first part of the vlog but in case you didn't see them.. they are.. PrettyLittleReckless and SpiritPhoenix. Congratulations to both of you, and please send me an email with your mailing address to sarastrand9438(at)hotmail(dot)com.
But I'm turning this back onto you- what's your suggestion or piece of advice for question #4?


G said...

it would be so cool if you could actually send back tips to yourself...but sometimes it good to learn these post

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I've got nothing for #4 because she is already way ahead of me in frequency most of the time.

Oilfield Trash said...

Your vblogs are awesome. Very good topic, very good.

I wanted to add what is sex when you are married? Oh yea that was what my ex wife was having everyone but me. lol

Julie H said...

If only it was 3x a week! 17 years = not much sex any more.

Anonymous said...

Awesome response Sara. I look forward to the vlogs each week :)