Friday, May 20, 2011

Dear Sara... where the f**k have you been?!

Folks- Dear Sara is back. The vlog portion is not back but the exercise for your eyeballs portion is, so just be happy with what you get. I'm effing exhausted so the fact that I'm even doing this AND getting on the fuckmill (for the first time this week... whoops) right after is big.

See? My love for you is more important than my personal well being apparently.

Anyways. Let's get on with the show. Or words. Whatevs.

1. What are the major differences between raising a girl and raising a boy? Anything odd or interesting about a boy that you would never have thought of? Yes. Yes there are. First off, girls are moody. Girls will tell you that you are a terrible mom because *how dare you* not let her wear red lipstick to preschool with a tutu. Boys... are lovable. At least mine is. I have a complete mama's boy and I seriously wouldn't have it any other way. Jackson will give me random hugs/kisses, tell me I'm beautiful, etc and I know it's because he loves me. Olivia will tell me I look nice, then ask for some quarters. But baby care wise... (for me) I felt like Jackson was easier. Never mind the fact that Olivia cried *a LOT* and she projectile vomited *a LOT* and was more dramatic than the kids on GLEE. Jackson was a very chill baby, he never really freaked out when I clearly struggled to get baby food open, whereas Olivia would just scream louder and louder. Jackson just seemed to know his mother was challenged in every way possible. The other fun part about boys is that they will piss on you. Pretty much all of the time. Unlike the small percentage of men who are able/willing to control their urine and try to get into a proper receptacle, boys don't have this control because they have small parts. So... you'll get peed on. And so will your walls and furnishings. Then when you potty train, everything will be urine soaked yet again, because as Jackson so eloquently describes, "It just keep flipping out mom". Yes. Yes it does, Jackson.

So overall- boys and girls are way different. Take everything you know about babies and throw it out the window. Be prepared for a completely different personality and temperament. They will grow up and they will fight. A lot. You don't know how sensitive your ears are until you have two toddlers screaming at full capacity over an orange marker that you damn well know you have five of. God speed, friend.

2. What did you feel when you found out Bin Laden was dead? Honestly.. not much. I mean, shock that someone got him first of all. Second, I realize that he was a terrible person and yadda, yadda, yadda- but so is half the world. Seriously. Then there was all of the.... celebration... of his death. I'm not a religious person but I'm *pretty fucking sure* that God doesn't want you celebrating the death of your neighbor. You're supposed to love your neighbor... sharing recipes is totally optional. I think part of the reason that religious radicals (and let's be honest- that's what he was) are the way they are is because they can get people fired up. While I agree 9/11 was a senseless tragedy... it's not new. Countries all over the world have similar things happen all the time. Why are we special? Why should our loss be more profound than every other loss from terrorism around the world? And part of me feels like THIS is why so many other countries hate the US. Because we clearly have no clue what we're doing. We can't feed all of our citizens, we have an out of control economy, we have so many people without any kind of health care, we have a Congress who can't shut the fuck up and work together for more than 30 seconds to get this Country moving in a positive direction, and then we have all the rednecks celebrating the death of a terrorist with a name nobody can agree on the spelling of. <-- Tell me again why we're so awesome? I would hate to see it and it would be tragic... but you have to think that antagonizing radicals (that already hate us) is like beating a hornets nest with a stick. Come on. To think we won't be retaliated against is naive. And scary.
3. I have a co-worker/friend. Sometimes she's a lot of fun, but sometimes she gets really stressed and seems to have a lot of anxiety. When she gets like that she is kind of annoying. I don't really even like being around here because she is so negative and seems to want to pick a fight about everything. I sit right next to her cube at work so I can't really get away from her. Would you tell her she needs to mellow out or just ignore her? I'm going to assume you are not in a position to get some street Valium or something for her? Or a tranquilizer? Which is too bad because that would be a win all around. People like this need a reality check. Honestly? I feel that most people are the way they are because they have always gotten away with it. You can be honest with a person and not be bitchy. You'll end up being called a bitch because people are scared when someone says they lack in an area. Everybody says they like constructive criticism but nobody really wants to hear their shortcomings. In your case, I absolutely would say something to her. It doesn't mean you're a bitch, a bad person or you like her any less. It just means that you want her to be the best person she can be - and that means she needs to change something in herself. Will she change? I don't know and I wouldn't hold my breath. But I respect a person who can say something from the heart and mean it positively. Hell- I've had lots of people tell me to back the fuck off or calm down. And it's good because sometimes I don't know when I've tipped over the edge and it's nice to have honest people around you to pull you back.
4. What's your take on same sex marriage? My take is who the fuck cares? Honestly. Who CARES if a same sex couple gets married? I think people should have the right to get married if they want to. I have a problem with laws when they are based on something God supposedly frowns on. First off- you can't govern a group of people based on a belief system that not everybody shares. You can't bring God into school, but yet we can tell people how to live their lives? How does that make any sense? It doesn't. I believe that you don't just become gay/lesbian/transgendered/whatever the hell else you can be... you are born with that genetic marker. It's no different than being born with schizophrenia. And while you may not like the thought of two same sex people having sex... I think of it as- they probably get grossed out thinking about you and your husband having sex.
5. In the same area, what would you do if one of your kids said they might be gay? Support them. Who they end up having sex with is not only none of my effing business, but it doesn't change who they are as a person. It doesn't change the fact that they are my child and I loved them every moment up until that point... why would their preference change that? I think people get depressed because they think their child's life is ruined, they won't get married/have kids/etc. Who's to say they won't? They might get married (I hope it's legalized for everyone), they might adopt kids (who's to say you'd love an adopted baby any less), they might have more opportunities in life because they'd obviously be happier. I think as parents, our job is to encourage and love our kids. No matter what. No matter how scary it might seem. That's the job we took on when decided to be a parent.
OK. Holy hell- heavy topics, huh? What are your thoughts on any/all of these??
Tomorrow I'm going to the Death Cab for Cutie concert. But the super exciting thing is next week.... my Milwaukee trip. WOO HOO!!


Oilfield Trash said...

Very well said. You already know how I feel.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I only had girls but have two grandsons one of which is living with us at the moment along with his mother of course. Anyway the difference I noticed is he is a climber I do not remember any of my girls climbing onto every thing the could.

As for same sex marriages why not if that is what they want then so be it it is not my place to judge.

I do like what you said about America seem to thing they are special and I mean the country not the people I feel most Americians do not think they are any more special then Austrailians or the English or any other country if that makes any sense.

Diane and Chad said...

You are amazing! I love your honest and heartfelt thoughts...keep it up:)

Anonymous said...

Those are some heavy questions! Here are my thoughts on a few:

3. I hear ya. I totally have "that friend" too. I used to cater to her and be all "ohhh it'll get better" blah blah bullshit, but that was so exhausting, that I just got real with her. I straight out told her what I was thinking about the situation and then she settled down and stopped spazing out. People just need to hear it sometimes and not have everything sugarcoated or for them to be ignored. Half the reason they're so annoying is because they're reaching out for answers. So I say- be real.

4. Equality rules! There shouldn't be an argument about same sex marriage. Seriously, people just need to grow the eff up. Does it effect you? No. Let people just be. Cripes.

5. No offense- stupid question. What are you going to do? Never speak to them again? It's not their fault they're gay. You don't just decide one day that's how you're going to be. I hate to be all cliche', but you're Born This Way. (and yes, I hate myself for quoting Lady Gaga.)

middle child said...

My experience has also taught me that girls are moody and boys are loveable.
Fast forward......women are moody and men are loveable.

Steff said...

Those are all heavy topics for sure! I agree with all your stances and you explained all of them well. I love that these were typed instead of video, because I never seem to watch anyone's videos! I don't know why, I think it's just faster for me to read. But I loved 'em. =]