Friday, June 17, 2011

Oh Dear Sara..

I almost didn't do a post tonight because I am on a cleaning and organizing rampage but alas... here I am, taking a break from that to give you something tonight.

1. What do you do when you despise your significant other's friends? Oh man. You are walking a fine line. As of right now Matt has no friends because he's moved into a more anti social way of life, but back in the day... he had a group of friends. Most of them were losers and have no intention of changing despite the fact they are no longer 20 somethings. I didn't like them but I think part of the test any guy gives a chick is how she can handle his friends. I'm a firm believer that each person should have their own group of friends, and then the couple has couple friends. If it's not a huge problem with your spouse, just tell him that you want him to go have fun without you. Matt had his time with his guy friends and it was fine. But there will always be times when you will have to hang out with them too and just be easy about it. Sure, they probably are ignorant idiots who are forever drunk but who cares? I don't drink but I don't mind hanging out with my friends who are drinking. Plus, if any of them get rowdy or really annoying, you can always leave.

2. The other week, a friend totally ditched out on me. She has been a particularly bad friend and I'm in general just tired of her shit. I'm willing to be nice and pretend nothing happened though to maintain a peace in the world. I mean, we're not really friends. More like email friends, but we do know each other in person. I haven't heard from her since The Event and am wondering What the Fuck. I don't know what to do. Do I scrap the "friendship"? or do I just go on and pretend nothing happened? If the friend gave you ample notice and had a good reason- it's not worth scraping a friendship over. Things come up and it's OK. But if it was last minute and she literally left you hanging then absolutely not OK. Not only would I scrap that friendship (since it sounds like it isn't a 50/50 friendship anyways) but I would let her know that it's over and why. I'm in a similar situation myself so I can relate. But I'm a big believer that if someone did something to either hurt your feelings or make you angry, then they should absolutely be told. It maybe won't save that friendship, but maybe it'll help them in another friendship later on.

3. My daughter wants to start gauging her ears since all of her friends are and I'm really torn. I say no but she's laying the guilt on thick. What should I do? Stand your ground, mama! It hasn't been that long since I've been a teenager and I know the pressures there are to be a cool kid. I get it. But honest to shit- gauging your ears looks dumb as hell. They might not get it now, but eventually they will have to get a job and nobody is going to hire them for a serious job with gigantic holes in their head. Until they are 18 you are in charge of what happens to them and I say stand your ground. She'll look ridiculous someday in a nursing home. All the residents will be throwing peas at her head like she's some kind of carnival game.

4. My friend from college is getting married this wknd and I was unable to go to get time off to go. I've made several attempts to say sorry and to even just say hi, what's up. She hasn't responded to any of it. I'm kinda mad at this point. You can invite me to your wedding after us not talking for nearly 2 years? And when I contact you, you won't respond? It takes 30 seconds to type "hey, got your msgs, sorry you can't come, let's catch up sometime!" So she can't be that busy. What would you do? Gut instinct: tell her you think this is shitty and rude. Honestly. The more I think about it the more ridiculous it is and the more "gift grabber" it seems. I would absolutely send her a note saying that you're really upset about how the friendship has gone south and that you were really hoping that you'd get the chance to catch up, but obviously this isn't a mutual feeling. Honestly- it's kind of tacky to invite people and not exchange pleasantries if they can't come. I mean, Hostess 101. The people who couldn't come to my wedding at least got an email from me (but most got a handwritten note) saying, "I'm so sorry we'll miss you on our day- let's get together soon!" and we did get together with just about everyone within driving distance.

5. What's in your cd player/ipod/musical player right now? I'm really into Kanye West's song "Monster" but in my CD player is a mix of Panic! At the Disco (Vices and Virtues), All Time Low (Dirty Work), Death Cab for Cutie (Transatlanticism) and Fleetwood Mac (The Dance). I'm kind of all over the place.

6. What book are you reading? I've got a HUGE stack and lots of reviews coming up but I'm in the middle of "Long Journey Home" and "You Are Not Your Brain". One's good so far... one not so much. Stay tuned.

7. What are your summer must haves? Books, sunscreen, bright nail polish for my toes and flip flops. Sadly, hardly any of these are being used since it's freezing.

8. If there was one thing you wish you could do better... what would it be? Honestly? I wish I knew how to do my own hair. I suck at doing hair. I really do. I have never been good at it, my hair never looks nice and I basically half ass it every single day. So I wish I could do better.

9. I really like this guy and really want to blog about him because he makes me giddy, but you see, he was sorta meant to be set up with someone else. And here I am and just swoop in and steal him away. He wasn't interested in the other girl anyways and we've really gotten to know each other and I really like him. The thing is- she reads my blog. She doesn't know he and I have kept in touch since the night we met. She added him to facebook as well and has even tried chatting him up- which just confuses him and he asks me what she wants to talk to him about. So is there any Girl Code here? Do I not write about him? He knows I blog btw, but doesn't know the link. I feel like if I wrote about him, it would hurt her feelings to know that he and I are kinda hitting it off. What do I do Wise One? Honestly... I say Girl Code doesn't apply and here's why. There is a certain time span in which both the guy and the girl have to act on said hook up attempt by third party. If the guy isn't interested but the girl really is (before you start chatting him up) then Girl Code would apply. But it sounds like she wasn't interested initially either and so Girl Code no longer applies. If you plan on blogging about him I assume you wouldn't necessarily be mentioning names or specifics? If that's the case I'd play coy if she asks you more details by saying, "I don't really want to jinx it because nothing is really official or anything" and a girlfriend should respect that. But in the event she does find out, her attempts to woo him came after yours. So I think you're in the clear.

10. My pool has mold. I'm thinking about hiring a pool boy. What should I name him? You should name him Dusty. And then have this song playing when he comes over. Mostly because it sounds like a sad stripper song.

11. If you were to go back to college, what would go for? I would either like to get a degree in English or I would go to school to become a geologist. I have an inner science nerd and I can't help it. I would have gone for either one of those originally but I didn't have anybody around me telling me I could do it. And at the time I wasn't really outspoken or assertive enough to do anything different. But at least I know for when my kids are going to school to just encourage them regardless. I might give an opinion, but ultimately I would support whatever career path they chose.


Oilfield Trash said...

Geology is a good choice but not many jobs in it.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Some great answers and advice here, like you I can not do my own hair and at the moment it looks blah and I hate it...........but can not afford to get it done.

Anonymous said...

LMAO.... I heart you so much. Great answers and yes- very sad stripper song.

Shirley said...

I can't do my hair to save my life.

Unknown said...

Hi from Lady Bloggers--love your blog-very humorous and good writing! I will be back!

Melynda@Scratch Made Food! said...

visiting from LBS (again, I have visited before), good advice!


My friends and I were just discussing #1 last night! One our childhood friend's husband does not like one of our other friends. We had suspected this for awhile and finally received confirmation last night, although his reasons for not liking her are childish and invalid. What a mess!

Julie H said...

Great answers and questions this week :)