Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The time Matt almost let Jackson drown.

I was going through some pictures on my computer and I realized I completely forgot to tell you about the time Matt almost let Jackson drown. Matt isn't known for being super cautious with the kids and that's worrisome, but some offenses are worse than others. The time he almost killed them at the zoo was bad, but this is probably worse.

It started off like two or three weekends ago. It was a really nice day and I thought hey- let's go to the pool. And by "the pool" I mean the pool I used to swim at when I was little in Cloquet.  A lot of awesome memories were made there, like the countless times my brother almost drown, or the times my friend Jessica and I would swim out to the middle and stand on the tire for hours. For no reason. (Yes, they put a old tire on top of a drain on the bottom of the pool and the "cool kids" would just stand on it.) So we went.

And honestly? It was kind of chilly there. Like, a good fifteen degrees cooler than in Superior which was unusual because Cloquet is further from Lake Superior and therefore... should be warmer. Anyways. The kids were excited and that was fine. They have two little kid slides in the shallow end of the pool and they both wanted to go on it. I was helping one kid get out and make sure that they weren't getting pushed by bigger kids and Matt's job was to stand at the end of the slide and catch them. Since neither kid can swim.

The kids each go down the slide a couple of times and before we move on to something else, Jackson wanted to go one more time. So he goes. Keep in mind, I'm not next to the bottom of the slide because I'm helping Olivia with her bathing suit which was giving her wedgie after wedgie, so I didn't see him go. Matt was standing right there. What I do see is Jackson go completely underwater and Matt's ridiculous delay time of getting him. So I literally fly over there and get Jackson who is PISSED OFF that Matt completely failed to catch him. He's crying, he's got boogers all over his face, he's clinging to my neck so hard my lips were going numb, it was nuts. So after that he refused to go anywhere with Dad. He would not go back down the slide and wanted to sit on the beach area by himself but I told him he had to stay in the water.

Mostly because I paid $12 for our asses to get into the damn park, we're getting $12 worth of swimming out of this.

So I ended up walking around in the water with a three year old choking me to death. Fun for all.

Then we got out and that's when I realized how fucking cold it really was.
 Olivia obviously looks thrilled.
That's Jackson when a breeze came. Hilarious. Right after that, he got up to inform us we were leaving. HA!

Can I just say I wish I had the camera? Because the women's bathroom was DISGUSTING. Every toilet was overflowing with poop. I understand that water will sometimes make you poop. I get it. But JESUS CHRIST, let's maybe do a courtesy flush, huh? Do you have to back up every toilet??? People are pigs.

So yeah. That's the time Matt almost let Jackson drown. Now is the time where I'd say I was CPR certified and have the Red Cross card to prove it, but I let that expire and quite frankly? I didn't pay attention. It turns out if you just show up you can get the card. So yeah. I am not certified to save anyone.


Julie H said...

LOL well hopefully it was one of those slow motion moments when it seems like it was forever but it was only a second.

Oilfield Trash said...

Julie up there said the same thing I was thinking.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I thought my hubby was the only one who does stupid things like that at least Jackson is ok but really you are having a nice time out and you end up feeling strangled by a 3yr old and feeling like you are married to a dill...........

Anonymous said...

Oh man.... when your kids are older, they're gonna be afraid of everything. lol. Poor Jackson.

Ruth said...

I am glad everything turned out OK. I am also glad you didn't have your camera. Hearing about poop toilets is enough. I don't need a visual.

Ang said...

aaahhhh... the zoo - fond memories, right?! LOL.
Sounds like maybe you need a babysitting for your hubs? ;)

Jill said...

What's childhood without a good "My dad almost let me drown" story?

In my case it was my swimming lesson teacher. Comforting, right?

I still can't really swim. :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, first off....I am glad he is okay. But second? I laughed. Is that bad?

Not at the potential of Jackson drowning and all, but at the statements "The time Matt almost let Jackson drown" not long followed by "The time he almost killed them at the zoo".

Dare I say Parent of the Year?


PS: CKC is just around the corner!! YEAH!