Sunday, October 30, 2011

KY Intimacy Experiment Week Six: Getting Back In Touch

For those of you newbies playing catch up with us, enter at these back links for more chances to win your VERY own KY Intimacy Experiment set.

Week One- Love Nest
Week Two- It's Not Just About Sex
Week Three- Everything Old is New Again
Week Four- Outside the Comfort Zone
Week Five: Fun and Games

I am going to be honest- I really struggled this week. I should tell you now that when it comes to physical touch, Matt and I are polar opposites. He likes to be touchy feely, kissy/huggy, and I like my three foot bubble. It's not that I don't like to be kissed or hugged, it's just that he always tries to do it when I'm folding laundry, cooking, or doing physical activity. It's annoying to me to stop what I'm doing, give a hug, and go back. That makes me sound terrible, I know. So when I say I struggled, I did.

This week we had to work on staying connected outside of the bedroom. The workbook mentions that many women (and men) complain that their partners only touch them when they want sex and that's true for us. I don't miss it, but I know that it's important to Matt.

Our day exercise was to try to do ten touches but make them a mix of nice and naughty throughout the course of the day. I think Monday-Wednesday I only did 3 and Matt completely fulfilled his obligation and called me on it. Thursday-Saturday I stepped up my game but only making it to ten touches on Saturday. It's hard, yo. Some examples that you could try hugging (but it had to be the 30 second hug that is ridiculously awkward for me), holding hands, cuddling, etc. Part of my struggle is that it's just really awkward and uncomfortable to be really affectionate when our kids are right there. I just think that kids shouldn't see their parents making out and stuff, but maybe that makes me kind of prudish.

The night exercise was an erotic massage. I am absolutely all for this and I do a damn good massage. Matt sucks at massage and always has. I really thought he would struggle through this but he did a pretty good job. Usually it's a lot of start and stop with his massages because he's distracted by TV or something, but this time I made sure we had nothing else going on except me so that was great. I know that most of our problems lay with us being so exhausted at the end of the day that thinking about sex is kind of the last thing on our minds. We decided we were going to try to do an erotic massage a few times a week instead because it loosened us both up, it felt great, and it leads to sex. The win is that we both want a massage and we both get one and we both end up happy later on. Who knew something so simple would be so effective?

Our challenge this coming week? Sometimes a Fantasy... stay tuned!
OK- so every Sunday night I will post about the KY Intimacy Experiment and offer you chances to win your own kit. At the end of the experiment I will put all of your entries from every single post into a bucket to win. So you are going to have a lot of chances to win... I highly encourage you to enter and spread the word. Here are your chances (and you MUST be a follower through GFC, and you MUST leave me your email address so if you win I can contact you!):

1. Comment on this post- how many touches do you think you and your partner do in a day?
2. Share this on Twitter (leave separate comment)
3. Share this on Facebook (leave separate comment)
4. "Like" CouplesPlace on Facebook (leave separate comment)
5. Blog about this! Mention my blog series (and link back to this post)! (leave separate comment)


Ruth said...

I don't know that I would ever make out in front of my daughter, but I think hugs and kisses and holding hands is fine.
I don't always like to stop when I am busy for a kiss, but I do.
I love hugs. A lot.
Maybe on an average day, we will hug about 6 times. A few kisses.
Sometimes it is more, but that's about average.

Nikolett said...

Ohhh I could use an erotic massage right about now (too much TMI? haha) but The Boy kinda sucks at them, too. I'm the master of them. I always wonder how my affection towards my significant other will change once we have children; I know it would feel awkward to do the whole make out thing in front of them, for sure.

Shirley said...

Chris is so good at massages, but then I fall asleep and he sits there all frustrated looking at me like he might smother me with a pillow.

Shirley said...

I "like" Couples Place on Facebook.

Julie H said...

I get a peck when he leaves for work and a peck when he gets home. How's that for touches?

My favorites are smacking him on the ass when he least expects it. Probably not his favorite haha.