Monday, December 19, 2011

Hot Bitch Monday and Rant About Love & Hip Hop

Guess what lambwhores? I am down to 156! It's kind of an awesome and I've done nothing. Seriously. I wish I could tell you I was doing something to help this weightloss out... but I'm not. I will tell you that I have been eating a lot of truffles and home made peanut butter cups? And I've discovered that Wendy's has AMAZING hamburgers? Like they are way better than they used to be. Seriously.
But let's talk about the VH1 show Love & Hip Hop because it's a hot fucking mess. You know I love me some hot mess and this show delivers. I think the best way to handle this is to run down each character:

Yandy: What the fuck s up with her facial expressions? She always looks like she's constipated with the scrunched up eyebrows? You know what I'm talking about. I can't even focus on anything she does because her hair is always swinging around with her constipation face. It's distracting.

Chrissy: What a bitch. She is so out of line angry wth life and everyone she encounters it's a wonder anyone invites her out. I'll talk about Kimbella next, but Chrissy can't just go around punching people when they do something you don't like. Get some fucking class ho bag. But here's a tip- if so many people are demanding an apology from you--- maybe it's you.

Kimbella: She needs to stop talking like she's a solo actress in a daytime soap opera. She needs to stop. And I kind of peed myself when her hair caught on fire. And how could she really think it would ever be OK to say that she dated the ex of someone else? Especially if you don't know her. I mean, come on. COME ON. Sure, you can pull her aside when it's just you two and have a conversation about it. Alternately...

Emily: ....needs to get over it. If she knew her ex cheated on her repeatedly? Maybe it isn't always the other woman's fault? Maybe your ex should learn to keep it in his pants? I also want her to stop wearing leggings. And anything that emphasizes the hugeness of her from the waist down. God damn. And she also is so damn angry and whiny. It drives me nuts and I feel like giving her a vibrator.

Olivia: I love Olivia. I do. I remember when she came out with her first CD like forever ago (which I own) like forever ago. I like how gangsta she is and I feel bad that she gets knocked around in the music business because she's talented.

Somaya: What the fuck is going on with her? Seriously? Is she hispanic? Is she not? She isn't talented at all and god help us if she gets a record deal.

Side note: So VH1 Divas just came on and can I say how much I can't stand Jennifer Hudson? I liked chunky Jennifer Hudson on American Idol. Give her some fame, money and a fucking diet and she thinks she's hot shit. You aren't.

And I don't understand these soul singers- most it sounds like random screaming to me? Or when you pull the Mary J. Blige "yeah, yeah, yeah" in random spots in song. I need to stop watching this show- I'll only get stabby.


Unknown said...

Sorry, but I can't watch anything in VH1 but Pop Up Video. Their shows are just... trashy...

All the 'wives' shows bother me to no end. Too many fabricated shows, trumped up as 'reality.'

I'd rather go to the mall and make fun of all the kooky mormon kids. :)

Life Love & High Heels said...

I don't have cable so I haven't seen it, but what is up with those names!?!?

Congrats on the weightloss!

Dana said...

I don't have cable either so I haven't seen the show but you've given us hope for weight loss with candy and burgers!