Thursday, December 29, 2011

Strippers and Runaways.

Let's talk about weird stuff that I think about during the day:

1. If I were a stripper? This would be my jam.

I am a huge Black Keys fan and I got their newest album "El Camino" for Christmas and I'm pretty much addicted to it.

2. My kids informed me that they were running away the other day. The destination? Massachussetts. I was informed that Olivia was going to be a rock star singer and Jackson was selling purses.
 At least they look happy?

3. We are getting a shit ton of telemarketer calls as of late. Usually I like to answer with them and start being completely inappropriate to make them hate their jobs even more, but with being sick I haven't really felt up to it. But the best part? Is how some of them are coming up on my caller ID:
 You know what? Props to you for being up front legit that you are a phone scam. You can't knock that hustle and it almost makes you want to answer it.
 And then somehow I've gotten on this call list? Really?

4. I've also been trying to conserve my utility bill again even though it's not even winter yet since it's still well above zero and no snow on the ground which is WEIRD. But this means I don't use the gas heat and plug my little electric heater in the evenings.
Except my cat Stumpy wants to be selfish and hog the warmth? Except he's too stupid to realize he's on the wrong side of the heater. I can't help it- I have a soft spot for mentally challenged animals.

In other news, I feel like the plague of death is turning into something worse? Like, it's probably heading towards bronchitis as usual. But according to WebMD I also could be in the late stages of emphysema, heartburn, plague or tuberculosis and am probably dying. No where on my list of possible things wrong with me was common cold so.. maybe this is farewell folks? Maybe my lungs really will flop out?

Being sick has also made me realize that there is a point in which I am no longer a perky, patient, and helpful person. All day today I was faced with challenges brought forth by people with minimal intelligence. Usually I go above and beyond to spell things out for them, to give them the easy route, and to just generally do a kind deed and make them not feel dumb. Today? None of that was happening. I hope I can kick whatever crud I have over the weekend so I'm raring to go next week.


Carrie said...

Ok. Seriously love that the kids are going to run away and Jackson is going to sell purses. I could barely even read the rest because I was laughing so hard.

Life Love & High Heels said...

Step away from webmd. That shit is scary. But you're right, it's probably bronchitis.

And now the karaoke machine makes sense! She's hitting the road!!!

Stay warm lady and get some rest!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I never get interesting callers. They all come up "Unavailable' or "toll free call". Hope you feel better soon.

Julie H said...

Time to go to the Dr! Although I've found when I know I have bronchitis I get much better meds if I go to Urgent Care, none of that cheap 3 times a day for 10 days crap.

Stumpy is so cute, in his defense it's probably still warm in the "area" ;)

I got rid of our house phone since the only people we talked to on it were telemarketers and our parents (who can call our cell phones now).

Nikolett said...

LOL your kids are adorable and so creative, too. And ahh, gotta love The Black Keys and mentally challenged animals. I really really hope you feel better and that those phone scammers leave you alone, too. And early Happy New Year! :)

Anonymous said...

The plague is running rampant here as well, and everyone with it has been instructed to stay the hell away from me seeing that if there is a cold germ within five miles of me, it will find me and give me pneumonia.


I hope you feel better soon girlie.

PS: I am totally in love with Stumpy.

Seana said...

Your kids are so adorable!

Although I can't relate to having kids, I can totally relate to the interesting intelligence of cats! My boyfriend has one of the most adorably ADD cats ever!

By the way, Sara, your blog made an appearance into one of the first sentences of my first blog entry of the new year. Hmm.. can I fit the word 'first' into there a third time..?

I LOVE reading your blog! Makes me laugh everytime. You have an awesome way with words...

Cherie said...

I love that your cat's name is Stumpy.

Never trust WebMD. Ever.

Cherie Jamison