Thursday, February 23, 2012

Sara's mini rant on birthday parties.

I am currently trying to figure out what the hell to do for Jackson's fourth birthday party which is coming up in April and it reminded me of what I hate about birthday parties. Well, specifically little kid birthday parties. And let's just do this bullet style because I'm feeling efficient tonight.

  • If you are a parent and are considering just dropping your kid off and celebrating a few hours of freedom? Don't be that asshole. Because I'll tell you what- you try organizing 10+ kids that aren't yours and it's a nightmare. First off, I don't trust anyone with my kids as it is, I just don't. Never mind the fact that those parents probably don't know my kid; therefore, they would have no idea what kind of description to give to someone should my kid get lost. Second off, your kids are not always great with adults other than you. Third, assume other parents are going to take off so be that really awesome parent who sticks around as an extra set of hands. 
  • If you are throwing a birthday party for kids, have a freaking AGENDA. Don't let it become a free-for-fucking-all. 
  • If you are throwing a pool party- make sure kids can SWIM. If they can't swim, then you better have enough adults in the water to supervise so someone doesn't drown on your watch. I have heard lots of my friends witness kids almost drowning at pool parties because grown up's aren't watching. 
  • Don't serve beer at a kids party. I don't care how country you think you are, that is ridiculous. 
  • Pinatas are never a good idea. You will always have over aggressive kid that almost takes out the birthday kid and has no concept of sharing. 
  • Biggest party pet peeve? When kids other than the birthday kid is trying to open presents. So incredibly rude and the parents who just stand there and don't pull their kid off? Useless. 
  • Boiling hot dogs? Never OK, folks. Never. 
  • Forgetting to pick up your kid because you were too much of an asshole to sit and supervise your own kid? Not OK. 
  • If the kids need swimsuits, sled, boots, some kind of bib/apron for messy projects, or money to partake in activities? Fucking SAY THAT on the invitation so kids don't show up unprepared. 
  • Send a mother fucking thank you card for the gift we bring. BIGGEST PET PEEVE EVER. Don't be that unappreciative asshole. If you have the time to write out and mail/deliver the invitations? You have the god damn time to write out and mail/deliver a thank you. And this goes for any kind of holiday or party. 
Do any of you have kid party pet peeves? 

This past weekend Olivia was invited to a birthday party for one of the girls in her Girl Scout troop and I totally thought she should go and have a good time. I had the intentions of being the parent to go with her and bring Jackson, but I had a horrendous migraine and it wasn't happening. So instead, I told Matt he'd have to go. Matt wanted to LEAVE her there and I was all, oh hell fucking no. First up, I don't know these parents. I don't know if they have other kids, I don't know if they have aggressive dogs, do they have guns in their house, do they smoke, are they running a meth lab, whatever. These are the things that go through my head. So I was like NO WAY are you going to just leave her there- especially as they aren't right down the road, it's like out in the country so it's a bit of a drive. He was kind of pissed off about having to stay, but I basically said to stop being such a lazy ass parent and participate in their lives. (Which may or may not have been said super nicely. *admitting guilt*) But in reality? He does maybe two or three kid parties in a year, and those are usually with me. I do all of the other ones, so he can just buck up. Anyways. It turned out fine. Nobody was injured or killed and everyone (except Matt) was happy when they came home.  

We are going to a party on Saturday and that should be good- it's for my friend's son's first birthday. I haven't seen her baby ever and it'll be nice to see her again since we reconnected since the high school reunion. He looks stinking cute on Facebook so I'm excited to see a baby! Well, a kind of baby! Then we have a pirate party next week which Jackson is SO excited for. But I am running into problems with Jackson's- do I do something fun at a place, or do I cram a bunch of people in my house? I probably won't do my house, but I might rent the town hall and just do something there? I don't know. I'm undecided. It also doesn't help that he changes his birthday party ideas daily. I might just pick something and roll with it. 


Julie H said...

LOL, well I disagree with you on that one. I hate when parents that I don't even really like stay and hang out and bring all the siblings along. Just leave, but make sure you come back! I never stay for kids parties either.

Julie H said...

Oh and my biggest pet peeve is no RSVP. We are going ice skating tomorrow, not one kid has called to say if they are coming or not.

Josie said...

I agree with you about the pinatas, and pretty much everything else. Unfortunately, if I don't have a pinata at my daughter's party people will go home because, well, everyone is Hispanic. No pinata, no party. No food, no party. No beer, no party. And if we don't supply the beer, someone else will go get some, whether I want them to or not. It's a win/lose situation. Or I guess a win/win/lose, because a little beer makes some of the guests more bearable.

Unknown said...

@Josie--hilarious comment. know what my pet peeve is? I only had one real 'party' growing up and we never did that 'invite your entire class over' thing. I don't remember any of these pet peeves happening b/c I just never got parties so for my 25th my husband threw me a huge kid's themed party and yes there was a pinata (full of glow in the dark bouncey balls and candy) and silly string, and a rented helium tank. It was almost awesome to make up for the shitty childhood memories...
and...if a parent came and dumped their kid with me, I would SHIT A BRICK. umm...what if your kid is allergic to something and doesn't tell me? Are you going to hold me liable when he dies? wtf...that's just irresponsible parenting. Video games can't be more important.