Monday, September 10, 2012

That time I cried in the car. And then at my mom's. And then on my way to work.

Phew. They say the first day is the hardest, right? Surely the second day should be easier than today.

Today was Jackson's first day of 4K. A few of you have me what the hell is 4K because it sounds foreign and crazy, but it's 4 year old Kindergarten, otherwise known as preschool. But with more work. They are basically training the kids to be ready for Kindergarten. It's three hours in the morning which is about how long you can expect a 4 year old to hold their attention in organized activity. It was great for Olivia considering she had never been in daycare so the socialization aspect of it was very beneficial for her.


So Jackson started today and I was a hot fucking mess. I was. All summer we have all been hyping up how great 4K was because I was so worried he would refuse to go but I didn't really think I'd be such a mess. He's my baby and somehow letting him go was ten times harder than letting Olivia go. She was so ready and eager to go to school and he's just kind of meh on the whole thing. He's perfectly content getting cuddled all day by my mom or I.

This morning he got dressed, thrilled to be wearing his new school clothes and to be able to tote his super hero backpack and even wanted his picture taken.
And then one without the backpack for good measure.
So we dropped Olivia off at school first and then we headed to his which is like 3 blocks away or so. As soon as I pulled up he tells me he's scared. And wants me to walk him in. Which, obviously I'd walk him in. so we do the picture out front.
And then one with his overly protective, super sad but trying not to cry, mama.
And then one by the door.
So we go in and he finds his hook right away, hangs up his backpack and sweater, and walks in holding his teacher gift. He actually went right up to her and handed it to her but then totally clammed up and then clung to my leg. At this point he tells me he's scared (again), doesn't want me to go to work, and is holding onto my leg with watery eyes. I'm starting to tear up because he's my baby and I'm trying to point out all the cool stuff. They have boys and not just girls in there, they had trucks and cool boy toys, they had a cool back yard of toys, and it was going to be fun. Because I can always change his mood around by making jokes, I tell him he A) better remember to bring me home a picture or else and B) he better not grow while at 4K because he promised he'd be my baby forever. So he kind of giggled and let the teacher take him over to where they can color.

I then bolted out the door and to my van and proceeded to cry like a baby.

And then I drove to my mom's and cried in her dining room. Sometimes I just need my mom to sympathize and tell me it's going to be OK.

So I then went to work and cried the entire way there, and worried sick. Was he under a table crying? Was he missing me? Was he being beat up by the scary day care kids? Who knows, but I think of every terrible scenario.

Then I got off work only to find that he did awesome. My mom picked him up from 4K and he immediately declared that he wasn't scared any more. He also reported that some kid cried all day even after they went outside. At bedtime Jackson was telling me the kid just would not stop but he's going to ask him tomorrow if he wants to play or be his BFF. I mean, I love the empathy my kids have for others. It's kind of great.

So here's hoping tomorrow is better for me. I'm sure none of this was made better by the fact I am clearly PMS'ing this week.


Ang said...

at least this story has a happy ending! Hopefully he's able to comfort the other kids a bit, sounds like he's a great little boy!

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

My mom is subbing in preschool right now. She said there are kids, even three weeks into the school year, that cry the entire time they are there. I mean, how could you cry the whole time? You do awesome stuff like play outside, eat snacks, and build shit with blocks. Sounds like a good time to me.

Anonymous said...

He is so freaking cute!!

The grow up so quickly, but I am totally not surprised that he did well. It sounds like yall prepped him well and he was ready for it.

This was a big hurdle for yu and am just happy you got through it in one piece. Crying is not on okay, but kinda reiterates that I think you are a jam up mama.


Lin said...

What a little cutie! Glad he did well & didn't cry (like that other kid) all day. It's definitely gotta make you feel a lot better that he's excited about going back & wanting to ask another kid to be his 'bff' :)

thewriterslife said...

LOL this was sooo cute. My kids are grown-ups now but I do remember saying to myself if I had to do it again it's homeschool all the way because I can't take the torment, haha.