Thursday, November 29, 2012

Hoarders, Assholes, and Antiques.

It's a good thing I always have my camera or my phone with me at all times so I can take pictures of random crap for you.

So I really have a thing about hoarders. I know that it's a mental illness and all of that, I've seen countless episodes of the show yet when you come in contact with a hoarder in real life, it still throws you back. My mom's neighbor is a total hoarder. Just by looking in the windows you see all of this crap and the thing that sets me on edge? The deck.

You see, they have this really great deck on their house. It's gorgeous. The things I could do with a deck like that. But they have this area rug draped on it. For the last two or three years. In fact, it only moves from one section to the other when it rots out part of the deck. This summer they actually replaced a section of the deck only to put the rug back on it.
 I swear to you, one of these days I'm going to come armed with rubber gloves in the dark of the night and get rid of it myself. They'll thank me later.

Then one of my favorite things is to wander around second hand stores and thrift shops to find cool stuff. While at a second hand store the other day, I saw this sad gem:
 Can we say unwanted Christmas gift? It didn't even look opened.

And sometimes it's best just to recycle something. Because this is not a decorative tin.
 And can I just say that I hate people who park like this? Because you are an asshole and your car isn't even that nice.
Tonight I am working on my Christmas cards and wondering why I even do this to myself. I shouldn't say that, I do it because I like making cards and I like sending these out and people asking me how the fuck I found time to make all of these in my schedule. I limited my list to 100 this year because I like even numbers and because I have to make these bitches. And they involve coloring in snowmen. My hard is numb. I stop at 100, bitches.


middle child said...

I can't believe you didn't buy that Rotatoe thing. Isn't there anyone that you dislike enough that you could get that for?

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

Andy's grandma is a real hoarder. She bought a second house because she filled the first one to the brim. He won't let me go in her house because he's seriously afraid of what's in there.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I have said it once and I will say it again, my evil Mother in law is a hoarder. And what do 100% of all hoarders have in common? Not only the hoarding (of course), but the are ALL lazy as fuck. My MIL is NO exception. She has had a Christmas wreath up in the same spot on the back of a door now for 15 years. I remember when she put it up. It is full of dust and all she had to do was put it back in the box and put it in the closet (the door it is on is the closet door by the way), but she is too fucking lazy to do it.

And she is sick in the head too.

It's so gross. Her house smells and she has shit in there that is just garbage, but she won't get rid of it.


PS: I have every intention of doing Christmas cards too. Let's see if I can pull it off this year!

Seana said...

Oh hoarders, how I loathe thee.. I've had much personal experience with them, being my grandma was one and my mother's sister is a HUGE one. (You can barely walk from room to room, there's crap from floor to ceiling..and she has multiple cats and used to have a dog.)

I LOVE thrift and antique stores! I don't get to go as often as I'd like.. but I make do with the Stuff, ETC. store that's across the street from my work. And there's a few antique stores in West Branch and Mt. Vernon that I get to a couple times a year. I really don't think that tin is decorative, but one's person's food trash is another person's food treasure, right?

And don't get me started on the parking! Oy Vey. That reminds me of the local Hy-Vee where it appears to be where everyone loses their rationalizing ability and it's a free-for-all, head to the door at your own risk situation. Any given trip there, and you're going to be in no less than five almost accidents with cars and pedestrians alike. Yikes..


Ruth said...

I might be a little sad, but I quit sending out cards a couple years ago. I never got any back and it just got pretty depressing spending all that time and getting no acknowledgement whatsoever.
I do still bake gifts for certain people though.
You'd love parking next to my husband. He has to be exactly straight and right in the middle of the slot. He hates being crowded. Other people's parking drive him nuts.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

that Rotato thing? Such an awesome gift for a secret santa or pass the parcel sort of gift exchange.