Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Sets me right over the edge.

OK, this summer has been busy. That's an understatement, and normally I try to hit every party I'm invited to. I try to make at least an appearance because I feel like if someone took the time to invite you, you should try to be there.

Except the last two kid birthday parties? No. Let me emphasize that- these were KID BIRTHDAY PARTIES. Not that what I'm going to tell you makes it right for adult ones, but I haven't encountered this with an adult one. Just two kid ones.

Folks- it is never, ever OK to post a REGISTRY for birthday gifts. Never, ever. First off all, a one year old birthday party will include cake mess, cute outfits, and toys they'll outgrow by Christmas. You don't ask for a fucking bed, you don't ask for an Xbox, you don't ask for a PS3, you don't ask for a fucking iPod. Quite frankly- I feel like birthday gifts aren't a big deal. You should not be telling people, "Hey- you are invited to my party and you can bring me an iPod." No.

You just don't do that because it is rude. It is obnoxious and there is no way to turn this so you don't look like an asshole.

The argument of, "It's for family that doesn't see the kid often". OK- I have that issue with my kids as well. Do you know what I say? I say anything you give them is more than enough and it's just fine. If they prod me more on what to get, I say what size clothes they are in, I say something generic like chapter books, Barbies, craft stuff, etc. I never say anything more than $20. Do you know why?

Because I am not an asshole, that's why.

It's best to teach your kids early on to be grateful. You need to teach them that you will sometimes get lame gifts. It's not about the actual gift, it's about the fact that someone went out of their way to buy you a gift to help celebrate your birthday or even Christmas. You teach your kids to be gracious and say thank you. You teach your child to enjoy people coming together for an occasion and if they bring you nothing at all, be happy they brought themselves. Because life isn't about things, it's about relationships and the connections we make with others.

You know what else sets me right the fuck off the edge?

The lack of god damn thank you notes.

And I don't care if you think an email, a text, a Facebook message, or tweet is enough to say thank you. It's not. It's impersonal and quite frankly, it is unbelievably rude.

If you have the time to receive a gift? You have the time to write a thank you. Each and every time.

I hate when I go to a wedding or send a wedding gift and get nothing. Do you know what I did for my wedding? Our wedding was a Saturday, our honeymoon started Wednesday. I divided up my thank you's for each night and those things were in the mail Tuesday night. Checks were not cashed until I put the thank you in the mail.

When I had my kids? I wrote my thank you's while in the hospital when the baby was sleeping. Kid birthday parties? I have my thank you's ready to go before the party and the kids and I sit down and get them done the next day.

Because it's the right thing to do.

There is absolutely NO excuse for not sending a hand written thank you note in the mail. None. I don't care what argument you have, it's inexcusable. You be grateful when somebody does something nice for you and/or your family and you show it.



Martha Hokenson said...

Damn, how rude! I can't believe someone would have the gall to create a gift registry for frigging BIRTHDAY PARTY. And I'm so with you on the thank you notes. When I was a kid my mom drilled it into me to always write a thank-you, even if I didn't care for the gift or barely knew the person, etc. etc. Now I send a hand-written thank you note for everything. I don't care what it is. It's just decent!!!!

Unknown said...

A registry for a birthday? Wow. Just wow. That is unbelievably tacky and rude. I completely agree with you. The thank you notes: I guess I'm an ungrateful jerk. While I totally make my kids write age appropriate thank you note, I don't always hand write one. There are some cases where it is necessary, like weddings. If I were to receive a random gift for no reason at all then that totally scores a card. So do gifts from other children and there are other circumstances too. But a lot if times, especially if I've already profusely thanked someone in person I really don't see what is wrong with a follow up email thank you. As long as you are grateful and appreciative, that is what is important. And if someone really needs an acknowledgment parade, what better way to do a thank you than facebook? That way,everyone can see how awesome they are.

Unknown said...

God damn I love you. <3

BRCA2+ said...

You are spot on girl. I'm so with you on this one. I'm quite a few years older than you and was afraid that the lack of written thank you notes was a generational thing. You have restored my faith in the younger generation with this post. Emily Post would be proud. I so totally agree with you on the gift registry thing and thank you notes. You always make me smile. Love your blog.

Jill said...

This is a thing?! People do this?!

Unknown said...

Aahhhhhh!! Now I'm horribly paranoid whether or not I've forgotten to send you a thank-you for the last box you sent Ethan!

♥ Drazil ♥ said...

Seriously....AMEN. Honest to God - I'm getting pissed off at wedding invites who tell me EXACTLY what NOT to get them. The last one I got said - no presents - we just want cash or a gift certificate to this specific store. Pisses me off that I have no say in what I get you. UGH. If someone around here registered for a kid's bday party - I'd send the invite back. Christ.

Steff said...

I was too nervous to do a registry for my WEDDING because I didn't want people to think they had to buy us something haha I couldn't even think about a birthday party! That's totally nuts.

middle child said...

Right on!
Is it really a gift if you didn't choose it for them?
I would question if you were telling the truth about the kids registering except for the way my stepson and his wife worded their invitations.
And written thank-you cards? Naturally. Good mom you are for one so young.

Ruth said...

First of all, now I feel kind of shitty for not sending you a note when you sent my daughter that book. I sent an email. I did keep the envelope for the return address thinking I'd send you something one day. And than you moved. I don't have an excuse.
I have never heard of registering for birthday gifts. But, they have them for weddings and baby showers...
What little kid needs that stuff? My daughter turns 17 on Sunday and the only thing on that list she has is the bed. She's getting books.
By the way, she saw me looking at your blog a few days ago. She loves that you call your readers lamb whores.