Sunday, November 3, 2013

Stoic Design WINNER and weekend realities.

 First up, let's announce the TWO winners of the Stoic Design giveaway! The winners are:

#4 Shooting Stars Mag

#11 Eileen Ward

So yay winners! I'll email you to get your mailing information and bam- you have either a gift for yourself done or for someone else's Christmas gift done. You badass, you.

OK, so how was your weekend? Mine was actually pretty effing productive. I've gotten some cleaning done, Halloween stuff put away and Thanksgiving stuff out, Christmas card list figured out so I can plan my cards, some scrapbooking done and a bunch of reorganizing in my scrapbook room. But I also have been mapping out the bills for the next few months and we have some huge price ticket items coming up and with Christmas next month already- I'm feeling the stress.

I applied for a second job. I know, ugh. It's not that I don't like to work- I actually love to work. And financially we get by but the slush fund is gone and honestly, I'd like to go on a vacation next year with just Matt celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary AND put a new roof on the house. I don't care how expensive a roof is or how nice it is- it's not an anniversary present. We don't need me to get a second job but things could be better with more of a reserve fund.

The hilarious part is when I told Matt I did it his first concern was if I was still going to be able to make dinner. Because god forbid you need to operate the stove on your own. And I'll be honest- I have no idea when I'd do this. I am going to be exhausted, I know this. I will regret this after a week and decide my sanity is worth something. But I can't help but feel like I should be doing more.

Which brings up school. Lambs- I'm still on the fence. My pro and con list? DEAD EVEN. So that's out a deciding factor. Here is my largest issue- while lots of you have said you don't regret school and your immense loans obligations.... how? How do you not hate yourself for a huge payment every month? Because my loans were only $130 at their peak and even that was terrible- I felt like I was funneling money that could be better spent at home instead it's for a degree that I don't even need.

Then my next thing, yes- I could probably freelance myself out there right now and get my start. Except I am nowhere near confident enough to do that so that's basically out.

I feel like what I need is a guarantee it'll pay off. And I'll never get that. It's one of the worst parts about being an adult, having to make decisions that have repercussions on not just you but your family. The worst part right now is I am getting no feedback from Matt. If I bring the discussion up, he says nothing. Well, sometimes he'll just shrug his shoulders and I'm not sure how to read that. I asked if he'd go to an admissions counselor with me because I am old and I don't want to get lost in the building because I sometimes go out the wrong doors at the mall because I am a child, and he said he didn't want to take a lunch for that. So.. yup. Just me, as usual.


Unknown said...

Can I just say when I saw the picture of Matt installing the toliet I squeed a bit for you (that sounds dirty...;) hehe). I know I'm definitely an adult because I enjoy home improvement/renovations and all that jazz.

Also, I do feel a bit nauseous when I pay $700 every month for my loans. That $700 could help pay off my car faster, I could be living in a plush loft downtown or even going to Europe every year. But honestly, it's just whatever to me. My parents never saved enough for us to go where we chose to go to school and I made the choice to go the expensive route. I don't cry or get depressed over it because it was a conscious choice I made and now I have to pay it back. Just like a home loan, except my loans will help me appreciate in value, not depreciate.

That being said it's not an easy decision to make. And I have complete faith in you that you have what it takes to start writing here and there. I'm doing NaNoWriMo and after a chapter and a half I realize how fucking terrible I am at writing. I will never get this novel published or even seen by the eyes of man (simply because I don't want to) but I enjoy writing it. Why don't you start your own website? More than just the blog, I don't know what it could be but just something where you write like a journalist and have others contribute. Promote the shit out of it and get all famous and partner with sites like Perez Hilton's and stuff.

Sigh, being an adult blows.

carelessly graceful

Anna said...

I guess I either don't have as much student loan debt as I thought, or I'm so old there isn't much left to pay on it...I pay under $100/month. And it's never been more than $125/month. AND I went to Scholastica. The "bonus" of private schools is they usually offer more scholarship money. And, not that I'm in love with CSS or anything, but they have a ton of options for working adults. It would totally be worth talking to someone there about the options. You can do it!