Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Vaginas are just as important as penises.

Earlier today I came across this article in regards to women being breadwinners of a family and could that, in turn, play a negative role in a marriage and to a greater extent, society as a whole. It's not that this is a new conversation so I'm just not slighted by it, but the fact is- this has been a conversation since women became prominent in the work force. I see how people are trying to tie in the equal pay argument into this because it all kind of balls together, doesn't it?

I think the thing that galls me the most is that in that article, it referenced an episode of Fox & Friends and it wasn't just men on the panel. If it were just a panel of men, I could shake my head and say they were just angry because they have some bizarre inferiority complex. No, there were two women on that panel. Those two women essentially sat and said nothing. They just took it from those men like it was just another day at the office. They let colleagues of theirs talk down to them and to do it so publicly, and they couldn't even stand up for themselves. Granted, this is the Fox News Channel we're talking about so these are the most intelligent people we're working with. They legitimately maybe didn't understand what was being discussed or are slow in general.

I don't know them personally, I can't say any of that for sure.

I'll be the first to say I am not what I would consider a strong feminist. I am not going to be that woman out there at rallies and burning my bra. I'm at least woman enough to understand that I need that bra and I don't like inclement weather and you don't see that those rallies happening on sunny, gorgeous days.

I do believe women should get equal pay if they earn it. You don't just get a great paycheck because you showed up. Simultaneously, I think men should have to earn their paycheck as well, and quite frankly- I'd like to say most don't. I really don't believe most people in this country are doing enough work to quantify the wage they think they should get paid. You know what, just because gas is almost $4 a gallon and the price of milk is obscene does not mean you need to be making $10 an hour or more. How about you go to college and earn your way.

Another discussion for another day.

Do I think women need to ban together and take back our ovaries? Kind of. But the problem is that for every woman we have campaigning towards making the work place equal, we have a handful of passive women who are too dependent on their jobs who don't want to rock the boat and be a trouble maker. Top that with thousands of men out there that have their self worth tied to what they bring home. Because at the end of the day, I think what makes men so insecure is that we are able to do it all. For every woman that touts that it's career or family? I'd like to knock off a bridge. The people who say that are the people who can't do it, so they turn to knocking down those of us who do.

You know what? I work almost full time, I volunteer at least 15 hours a week with various programs, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, and my house? Spotless. I'm not Super Woman, I'm organized and driven. I want my kids to grow up knowing a clean house is an expectation, not a fun surprise occasionally. I want my kids to grow up seeing me as a bright, intelligent, independent person who can love, work, and give back without sacrificing anywhere.

My husband doesn't resent me because I bring home a paycheck. We've always been partners, we're equal. For years I was the breadwinner. I wanted to do other things and our home life necessitated that, so we reversed roles. We're fine. I get angry when people try to rationalize the high divorce rate with women being successful. You know why the divorce rate is so high? Because people are lazy and selfish. Sure, some situations warrant a divorce- I'm not anti-divorce. But divorce is an absolute, dead last option. Marriage is hard and it can fall apart so easily if you don't put forth a real effort every day.

But back to vaginas versus penises.

I think the fact that women versus men in the workplace is even a thing is because people are a little outraged, but honestly- it takes a lot of effort to get things done. Nobody has the time. The people who are the most upset about it are those of us who are working our asses off and maintaining a family and homestead and we really just get excited about being able to pee alone. In silence, if we're really lucky.The women who are just kind of meh about the whole thing are the ones who don't understand what this means for their daughters later on, or the women who don't give a damn because they are just happy to take whatever success they can get, even if it means sitting on a degrading cable network show and smiling blindly at the camera because by god- they made it! But does that really  make them any better than say... a stripper moving up to the title of exotic dancer?

Not really.


Deeds said...

the income disparity between men and women sucks. here's the shitty part, in industries like Tech/Science/Math/academics etc, women make 20-30% less. Why? B/c when they ask for more and say exactly what men say, they are bounced out. fucking ridiculous. so lots of women never ask for what they deserve to at the very least be equal in men for the same work. The US is terrible about gender disparity as a whole. We're not even top ten in the world on treating women well. which is sad.

middle child said...

All people should be hired because they do the better job. To hell with having to meet certain quotas.
I prefer my man to be the man of the house. It would be nice if he would take care of me.
And is it too much to ask that they have a good working brain?

Kattrina said...

Actually, there was one woman on that Fox show who was pretty spot on in her defense. She happened to be Miss NY or something and she said that if men feel like it's their "job" to take care of their wife and family then there are other ways to do that besides bringing home a paycheck. And I feel like that was a great comment - providing for your family financially is NOT the only way to provide for your family and it's not the most important way. I agree that often money is tied to self worth and people (both men and women) feel like they are more important the more money they make - but if the argument is that men have an innate need to take care of their family then they can do plenty of other things that would fulfill that obligation.

And I do think that this causes problems in people's marriage. I totally disagree with it, but I think it happens and I think it's because of the way we raise our sons (hopefully not the way I raise mine). Until that changes, men won't change. When I was in Honduras people complained so much about how the men would constantly cheat on their wives and were so "machisto" but in reality, who raises all these men?? Women do! Yes, some men are raised primarily by their fathers, but (especially in Honduras) women play a huge roll in raising our sons and how they turn out as adults and how they treat women and their wives. Just a thought.

And not that this post was about minimum wage, but since you mentioned it, I do think everyone is entitled to a livable wage and I don't think it should be based on whether someone went to college or not. First, I don't think college is for everyone and I don't think people should go just because. And second, I think that if a person works full time, no matter what they are doing or how educated they are, they should at least make enough money to support themselves. If they are lazy and wasting time and goofing off instead of working, well then they should be fired, but if they are working hard then they should be able to make a livable wage. There will always be jobs that people will have to do that don't require a college education (picking strawberries, working at a fast food joint, working at a gas station, cutting grass, etc.), but someone is going to have to do it and that person may have rent and a family to feed and they should be able to do that.

So, those are just some (long) thoughts of mine.