Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The College Dropout

I mean, the title kind of says it all, right? I won't lie, yesterday, I listened to this song on repeat because it seemed appropriate.

But here's the thing- as of yesterday at noon, I was officially a college dropout. And... it feels weird? I feel like maybe I should add that to my resume, maybe it says I'm unconventional and too cool for school, literally. It certainly wasn't a decision made lightly. I really was on the fence my entire first week. I had gotten ahead on assignments in every class, took a few quizzes already, and it was, so far going alright? But here are the things that played a part:

  • Major life change happening soon. I have an entire blog post coming about this soon so just hold tight. Like two more weeks so I can get information and pictures ready for you. Sorry. But know I'm just as anxious as you. 
  • I honestly think I'm too old. I say that because I'm reading the discussion boards and while I wasn't the oldest, I felt like I was maybe one of the more mature ones? These people were hardcore, all about school. I'm all over here thinking, "I just want to pass, none of this interests me at all." 
  • I literally cared zero about any of the classes. I couldn't get into readings and I felt like I was totally wasting my time, and the instructors, knowing I'll gain zero from any of this. 
  • I'm kind of like the old dog who couldn't learn new tricks in a way. I think maybe being 32 years old and having seen life, I've formed opinions and I maybe know too much. I can't look at things objectively anymore like I could when I was 22 even. I can't make the argument for the other side to plays devil's advocate because I just don't care enough. 
  • One week of being locked away and not seeing or hanging out with my kids was kind of brutal. That's always awesome when you've sent them away, or you're on vacation and you know in a few days you'll see them anyways. But this was like, years of being like this. 
  • I really did the math on tuition and books and what it would cost us financially and honestly? Not worth it. I have dreams of RV'ing sooner rather than later and honestly, I can be just as happy working at McDonald's as I could using a degree that really isn't going to pay for itself anyways. Having been in a situation with a crushing amount of debt over our heads to now which isn't so bad, I can't go back. I really can't. 
So with all that, I've chucked deuces at college life. I thought I'd feel really sad and bummed out and I'm surprised I don't. I feel relieved, I feel kind of like a choice was made for me and in this case I'm alright with that. I think my life is going to work out just fine even if I don't have an awesome degree. Yes, I wish I had continued on after my Associates degree to get my Bachelors, but I didn't and it's fine. Really, it is. I think Matt's relieved, but doesn't want to come out and say it. Which is OK too. 

But don't think I have all of this free time on my hands, either. I have lots happening in the next few weeks and months so you'll not see me all lazy and stuff. Nope. Stay tuned. 


Unknown said...

Congratulations (wink wink)

Steff said...

Honestly, if it isn't a degree that you know you'll 'earn' your money for later, I think it's a wise decision to not pursue it now! There is always another 'season' in your life to do it. It's ok for people to get art degrees and philosophy degrees when mom and dad are paying for it, but it's so much more real when you are responsible! You at least tried and you aren't pursuing it for valid reasons (family and debt) instead of just being scared to try something new or hard! So either way, you rock.

jn said...

hey Sara....
Just had to comment to you today. If it feels right then do it. If it doesn't thats okay too. You know in your gut when something isn't right so go with it. You would always wonder "what if" if you hadn't given it a go. But never say you're too old to go back to school. Whether it's a "have to" or "want to", maturity goes a long way in college. Look at Bree.....35 and has her first career starting. But it was right for her.Can't wait to read about your news! Take care darlin'

Julie H said...

You do so much stuff I honestly didn't know how you were going to squish that in too. Sometimes you just need to enjoy life a little bit and not make it so hard ;)

thotlady said...

Good for you. You sounds happier with this decision.

Amber Daulton said...

Good for you. College is a big choice no matter your age but the price just isn't worth it. Thirty plus years ago I believe it was a good idea to attend because there were more jobs available in most fields. Now, there are too many graduates for the same position and the price skyrocketed.
I have my Associate in Arts but I didn't continue with my Bachelors because of the debt I'd now be in. For me, there were classes that interested me and still would (I'll be 28 next month). If not for the price and lack of jobs, I'd go back to school to be a librarian, which requires a Masters and 100 grand to pay for it.
It sounds as though you've made the best decision for you and your family. Congrats. It's time to celebrate, relax and just enjoy life. :)

Shirley said...

High five for feeling relief! I know you've struggled with this decision for a while. Love your face.

elaine Gallagher said...

Congrats (no wink) Happy for you all.