Nobody cares about anything other than my snippet that I maybe saw a dead body. And I don't know if you care that I was almost mugged or not, but I'm going to tell you about it anyways.
So on Sunday I was heading down to St. Paul for the Rhianna concert. I've already talked about this. Well it's like a two and a half hour drive from where I live so it can either be really boring and uneventful or it came be full of crazy fucking drivers who can't merge onto a highway or drive with their blinker on for 30 miles and eventually cut you off because they have no idea what they are doing.
But Sunday was different.
I was just driving along, singing along to some Awolnation, when I see this really nice, black Lexus with Illinois license plates and dark tint windows. Immediately I think, "Oh it's nice to see the recession hasn't hurt the drug dealers coming from Chicago" only to snap out of it when I see that the guy drives like an asshole essentially raping the line between our two lanes. Like I normally would do, I move one more over to my left because I am not sure if this guy realizes he's not the only one on the road. As I do that, a pickup truck pulls ahead so he's kind of next to me, but I can still see the Lexus.
AND THEN.
The trunk of the Lexus flies the fuck open and I obviously slam on my brakes because I don't know what's going on, and the truck next to me does as well. And guess what I saw?
A guy, just laying in the trunk with a jacket on and he looked like he was in the fetal position.
Now, I didn't drive up next to it to get a better look but out of nowhere, the driver of the Lexus kind of swerves and the trunk slams shut. The next thing I know the Lexus very unsafely whips into the next exit and I'm looking at the truck driver and we both have, "Holy shit, what the fuck was that????" looks on our faces.
"You called the cops, right Sara???"
NO. No I did not. Only because A) I didn't get the license plate number, B) I don't know what exit he even took and C) I can't even tell you what mile marker we were even on. I didn't look at any of these things because I was too focused on the maybe dead body in the trunk. Scary shit, peeps. Even now, I can't remember what city I was even near.
So that's my dead body story.
The next piece of action was when I pulled into the parking ramp for Rhianna. The guy at the pay booth informed me that they've had "some incidents" with stuff in the ramp so I should be careful and watchful. Creepy and weird, but duly noted.
After the concert, I was walking and I am so thankful that I parked as close to the exit, but as near to the elevator as I could. When I walked past a few cars, just as I was getting to mine, a GUY popped up between the cars I was just next to and all of the hair on my body went up. Then as I look in my rear view mirror, there are about five guys kind of scattered around the lot, crouching between cars. The whole thing is very sketch.
So I decide to not piss around with my GPS and I back out of my spot and try to haul ass to the exit. But the guy that was literally next to my car, started kind of running after me. I was totally scared. I was kind of annoyed there wasn't anyone in the pay booths otherwise I would have said something to them about the assholes clearly looking for someone to do something to. But nope, nobody around. I took off and thankfully was able to figure out how to get home without my GPS.
But all in one night, hookers. All in ONE night.
This chick needs some pepper spray and a taser.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Don't smoke pot kids, you'll end up looking like Rhianna.
So on Sunday I made the trip to St. Paul for a date night with my friend Amy and we were going to go to the Rhianna concert. I'll just admit I'm not the biggest Rhianna fan. But regardless of that, I wanted to go to this because she has a huge catalog of hits and honestly- I figured I'd dance my ass off.
But I did not.
First up, according to the ticket the show started at 7:30. Her opening act, A$AP Rocky, started at 8. And he was really kind of shitty. Like, unbelievably so. Sure, he is just coming off of an illness so perhaps his game was off, but I cannot take anyone seriously who has a pimp stick, a throne, and tube socks pulled up to his knees. You have lost any street cred you maybe had before.
But he finished at 8:30 and honestly, thank god. And at every other concert I have ever been to in my life, there is at most, a 30 minute stage change over for the headlining act. Which is totally understandable considering how much is involved with a stage act. But 30 minutes is not what we had.
It wasn't even an hour.
It was TWO FUCKING HOURS.
Two hours of admittedly decent music playing, two hours of watching women wearing less than most strippers would start their stage act wearing, two hours of men in short shorts, and drunks getting so drunk they think they are Rhianna's back up dancers practicing their moves in the audience.
By the time Rhianna came on it was almost 10:30 and quite frankly, I was over it before it started. She did a lot of her hits which is exactly what you expect for the price of the ticket. She also does not sign live exclusively. Maybe the drunk people and the teenagers didn't notice, but this concert vet did. I hear your backing track, Rhianna.
My other complaint other than that as a stage performer that is charging people to come see you, you should be on time? Well not only should you be on time, but you should also try to be sober. I said this about Chelsea Handler when she was so fucking wasted that she wasn't even funny and couldn't brush her hair and how since then, I can't even watch her show. I'm that turned off. Well in Rhianna's case, it'd be nice if you could just not smoke immense amounts of weed before you come on stage. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it, but she would try to put this "I'm sexy and you want me" face and it comes off more like "angry and confused stoner". When your sexy face borders on Pauly Shore, you have a problem. I'm just saying that anyone who tells you they can function while smoking pot are lying to you.
We didn't even stay for the entire concert. By 11:15 I was so incredibly tired and I had a 2 1/2 hour drive home still, and I didn't even feel safe to drive. I figured it was better to leave now than try to get out of the parking ramp with hundreds of drunk drivers all getting onto the highway the same time.
Am I bummed I didn't love it? Yes. Anytime I go to a show and feel like I could have used that money for something else that would have been better, I'm disappointed. I did have a good time with Amy and we had a great dinner at Burger Moe's and it's fun to spend time with my far away friend. We don't get to hang out as much as you could if we lived closer, so I enjoy any time I get with her. Plus, we now have Beyonce tickets and I know that won't suck. Beyonce has a god damn work ethic.
But tomorrow I'll tell you about the dead body and the almost mugging. Gotta leave you hanging.
But I did not.
First up, according to the ticket the show started at 7:30. Her opening act, A$AP Rocky, started at 8. And he was really kind of shitty. Like, unbelievably so. Sure, he is just coming off of an illness so perhaps his game was off, but I cannot take anyone seriously who has a pimp stick, a throne, and tube socks pulled up to his knees. You have lost any street cred you maybe had before.
But he finished at 8:30 and honestly, thank god. And at every other concert I have ever been to in my life, there is at most, a 30 minute stage change over for the headlining act. Which is totally understandable considering how much is involved with a stage act. But 30 minutes is not what we had.
It wasn't even an hour.
It was TWO FUCKING HOURS.
Two hours of admittedly decent music playing, two hours of watching women wearing less than most strippers would start their stage act wearing, two hours of men in short shorts, and drunks getting so drunk they think they are Rhianna's back up dancers practicing their moves in the audience.
By the time Rhianna came on it was almost 10:30 and quite frankly, I was over it before it started. She did a lot of her hits which is exactly what you expect for the price of the ticket. She also does not sign live exclusively. Maybe the drunk people and the teenagers didn't notice, but this concert vet did. I hear your backing track, Rhianna.
My other complaint other than that as a stage performer that is charging people to come see you, you should be on time? Well not only should you be on time, but you should also try to be sober. I said this about Chelsea Handler when she was so fucking wasted that she wasn't even funny and couldn't brush her hair and how since then, I can't even watch her show. I'm that turned off. Well in Rhianna's case, it'd be nice if you could just not smoke immense amounts of weed before you come on stage. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it, but she would try to put this "I'm sexy and you want me" face and it comes off more like "angry and confused stoner". When your sexy face borders on Pauly Shore, you have a problem. I'm just saying that anyone who tells you they can function while smoking pot are lying to you.
We didn't even stay for the entire concert. By 11:15 I was so incredibly tired and I had a 2 1/2 hour drive home still, and I didn't even feel safe to drive. I figured it was better to leave now than try to get out of the parking ramp with hundreds of drunk drivers all getting onto the highway the same time.
Am I bummed I didn't love it? Yes. Anytime I go to a show and feel like I could have used that money for something else that would have been better, I'm disappointed. I did have a good time with Amy and we had a great dinner at Burger Moe's and it's fun to spend time with my far away friend. We don't get to hang out as much as you could if we lived closer, so I enjoy any time I get with her. Plus, we now have Beyonce tickets and I know that won't suck. Beyonce has a god damn work ethic.
But tomorrow I'll tell you about the dead body and the almost mugging. Gotta leave you hanging.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Tuesday musings.
I've got a lot of things rattling around in my head, it's time to get them out and see if that helps me look at them differently or make a decision.
1. To tweet or not to tweet? I really hate Twitter and I'll be honest, I don't understand the point of it. I only kind of understand Facebook. But I feel like I'm one of the last people to get on the Twitter bandwagon. Almost everybody else has one and I'm feeling like my blog and my writing could go to the next level if I got on Twitter. Thoughts?
2. I am going to start my book. It's been decided. I am such a pain in my own ass that I don't know how to start. I have three concepts of books in my head. I'm trying to decide if I should write a chapter outline then go from there. I don't think I can just write freely without structure. I'm OCD, clearly I need structure.
3. I'm going to be a legit soccer mom. Jackson is doing outdoor soccer and I'm kind of dreading it. Mostly because I know it'll be rainy and freezing on every game day. You just wait.
4. My 2013 concert season is shaping up nicely. I'm kind of excited. Right now I for sure have Airborne Toxic Event, Fleetwood Mac and Beyonce coming up. I'm going to get a few more in there before the year is out.
5. You know what I haven't done? Booked a rental car for our Florida trip. I keep going online to look for one and I start having all of this anxiety about it. Like, what if it's a piece of crap? How do I make sure I have booster seats for the kids? Why doesn't any website give me the option to pick up and drop off at the Orlando airport? Why is this so damn difficult?
6. Matt and I are going to quit caffeine in April. We're currently trying to work ourselves off it. Matt is going to struggle far more than me. His voice quivered when I said we were going to do this. The main reason for this is that soda is expensive, and I need to lose weight. Double win.
7. Also starting in April, and I'll document about this for you of course, but we are taking on the no-yelling parenting challenge. I have read so much about this in the last few months and it's basically parents who don't yell at their kids. Which I know what you're thinking- what if they start the house on fire? Do you still not yell?? Apparently you do not. Now I am going to struggle., I won't even lie. As of late I have almost no patience and Olivia's sass would turn me into an alcoholic if I even drank. But I'm realizing that it's not working. I need to switch up my game and I think I'll make it. I've taken enough parenting classes, I read a lot of useful information online and I have some books to turn to. I'm worried for Matt though who refuses to utilize any of these things.
8. My new favorite show? Ridiculousness. I can't even explain why I like this show but I cannot stop. I need to get rid of satellite before my brain totally wastes away.
9. So I have a friend who is offering to be my personal trainer. I'm equally excited and terrified out of my mind. Not going to lie, the first thing that pops into my head is every gym teacher I have ever had who screamed at me for sucking at everything having to do with athletics. I did make sure to tell her I suck at physical activity but I want to get better. I also need to lose weight and do I know I have to do this. But again, I'm kind of scared.
10. Tomorrow I'm going to blog about the Rhianna concert, how I was almost mugged, and how I'm fairly certain I saw a body in a trunk on the highway. SUSPENSE!
1. To tweet or not to tweet? I really hate Twitter and I'll be honest, I don't understand the point of it. I only kind of understand Facebook. But I feel like I'm one of the last people to get on the Twitter bandwagon. Almost everybody else has one and I'm feeling like my blog and my writing could go to the next level if I got on Twitter. Thoughts?
2. I am going to start my book. It's been decided. I am such a pain in my own ass that I don't know how to start. I have three concepts of books in my head. I'm trying to decide if I should write a chapter outline then go from there. I don't think I can just write freely without structure. I'm OCD, clearly I need structure.
3. I'm going to be a legit soccer mom. Jackson is doing outdoor soccer and I'm kind of dreading it. Mostly because I know it'll be rainy and freezing on every game day. You just wait.
4. My 2013 concert season is shaping up nicely. I'm kind of excited. Right now I for sure have Airborne Toxic Event, Fleetwood Mac and Beyonce coming up. I'm going to get a few more in there before the year is out.
5. You know what I haven't done? Booked a rental car for our Florida trip. I keep going online to look for one and I start having all of this anxiety about it. Like, what if it's a piece of crap? How do I make sure I have booster seats for the kids? Why doesn't any website give me the option to pick up and drop off at the Orlando airport? Why is this so damn difficult?
6. Matt and I are going to quit caffeine in April. We're currently trying to work ourselves off it. Matt is going to struggle far more than me. His voice quivered when I said we were going to do this. The main reason for this is that soda is expensive, and I need to lose weight. Double win.
7. Also starting in April, and I'll document about this for you of course, but we are taking on the no-yelling parenting challenge. I have read so much about this in the last few months and it's basically parents who don't yell at their kids. Which I know what you're thinking- what if they start the house on fire? Do you still not yell?? Apparently you do not. Now I am going to struggle., I won't even lie. As of late I have almost no patience and Olivia's sass would turn me into an alcoholic if I even drank. But I'm realizing that it's not working. I need to switch up my game and I think I'll make it. I've taken enough parenting classes, I read a lot of useful information online and I have some books to turn to. I'm worried for Matt though who refuses to utilize any of these things.
8. My new favorite show? Ridiculousness. I can't even explain why I like this show but I cannot stop. I need to get rid of satellite before my brain totally wastes away.
9. So I have a friend who is offering to be my personal trainer. I'm equally excited and terrified out of my mind. Not going to lie, the first thing that pops into my head is every gym teacher I have ever had who screamed at me for sucking at everything having to do with athletics. I did make sure to tell her I suck at physical activity but I want to get better. I also need to lose weight and do I know I have to do this. But again, I'm kind of scared.
10. Tomorrow I'm going to blog about the Rhianna concert, how I was almost mugged, and how I'm fairly certain I saw a body in a trunk on the highway. SUSPENSE!
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The Secret Life of a Submissive
Before my family freaks out, just know this is not me. I am not a practicing submissive. Anyone who knows me in real life knows how incredibly laughable that is. But here is an incredibly TRUE STORY that you should read.
The Secret Life of a Submissive - Sarah K
The Secret Life of a Submissive - Sarah K
When Max comes into Sarah’s life — charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t stop herself. Before long she has surrendered to him in every way: becoming his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire, powerless to fight his sensual temptations.
As Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits, she begins to realize that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world. She’s addicted — to the adrenalin, to the sensation, to Max himself.
Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…
Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is the explosive true story of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play.
I should mention that I mostly read this book while at indoor soccer for my kids. I'm fairly certain those parents think I'm some kind of freak. Matt even picked it up, read a few pages and while looking a mixture of confused and scared while asking me if I was into this. Even my seven year old read a page when I wasn't looking and wanted to know what a flogger was.
The lesson here is to not leave this book unattended.
Basically this is the true story of Sarah, a writer who was married for quite some time and raised her children. Things in life change and after her divorce she is finally feeling like she can explore the things she basically kept hidden because her husband didn't share the same.... interests as her. So instead of just regular online dating, she starts doing research on the BDSM phenomenon after being commissioned to write an erotica novel. Realizing you write better when you write from experience, and recognizing that she is really interested in BDSM, she embarks on a journey. Who knew there was the equivalent of Match.com for people who want to find a Dom or Sub? I certainly didn't, but it completely makes sense.
So she meets Max. Max is an experienced Dom, he's handsome, he's charming, he does everything that would sweep a girl off of her feet. But he is a Dom and he makes that clear and he has expectations of Sarah. They sign a contract and she starts.
I will be honest with you. What you read in Fifty Shades is not anywhere near this. This is so much more... gritty. It feels so much more violent. In my few days of BDSM research most would balk at me saying that this is violent but in my mind, there is no other way to explain it. In Fifty Shades you have Ana as a sub but it's erotic. It's written erotically and millions of housewives ran to the sex stores and bought floggers and ben wa balls. (I may have been one of these housewives. I'm stimulating the economy as well as myself. Don't judge.) So let me just insert in here that I am not a prude. I'm a pretty open minded individual. Also let me say that there were some experiences Sarah recounts in here that made me gasp... and feel absolutely angry and horrified.
You learn about Max's back story and how he started in BDSM. I learned a LOT about the community, how it works, and what people get out of it. Well, kind of. I feel like no matter what, if you need to apply an antiseptic cream to your back after a sexual experience, that's not healthy. I'm a fan of a little slapping but if it leaves bruises or actual welts? How can you enjoy that? It's absolutely foreign to me.
Which is exactly why I loved this book.
I had to take a few days to reflect after I read this book because immediately after I finished it I was horrified. I could not understand why a human being would not only want to try this but to continue. I left this book feeling a little angry at Max, and a little annoyed with Sarah. There is one scene where she is being caned (I believe that's what it was) and she screams out her safe word half way through her "punishment". And while Max stops, he doesn't really do anything to confirm it's OK. Sarah basically talks herself into continuing. As a soft feminist, I was ANGRY with her that she would talk herself into this and how Max rewards her basically. I still don't know what to think about this.
But I want you to read it. Like right now. Read it and tell me what you think and how it makes you feel afterwards.
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Monday, March 18, 2013
Dark Tide
Oh don't worry lambies, I have other stuff to post about, but let me share a really good book with you. Grab your cups, possibly with a lil' extra in them (looking at YOU, stay at home mom's), and pay attention.
Dark Tide - Elizabeth Haynes
Dark Tide - Elizabeth Haynes
Genevieve has finally escaped the stressful demands of her sales job and achieved her dream: to leave London behind and begin a new life aboard a houseboat in Kent. Not many people know that she financed her fresh start by working weekends as a dancer at a less-than-reputable gentlemen’s club called the Barclay, and she’s determined to keep it that way. But on the night of her housewarming party the past intrudes when a body washes up beside the boat, and Genevieve recognizes the victim, a fellow dancer from the Barclay.
As the sanctuary of the marina is threatened, and Genevieve’s life seems increasingly at risk, the story of how she came to be so out of her depth unfolds, and she discovers the hard way the real cost of mixing business with pleasure. . . .
Having read her first book Into the Darkest Corner, which was absolutely amazing and I loved, I knew I was in for a suspense that wasn't going to work out the way I thought it would. What I hadn't planned on was for it to kind of take a turn to romance, which wasn't a bad thing- it was just unexpected.
The book is basically about Genevieve, who has a regular job during the day and after taking pole dancing classes for fun/exercise, finds herself introduced into the world of gentlemen's clubs. She knows that she can make good money doing this and it would get her closer to her dream of buying, fixing up, and living on a house boat. What she doesn't know is that she is incredibly naive, is plunged into the dark and seedy world of backroom deals and where nothing is as simple as it seems. She meets Dylan, who is part bouncer, part grunt work guy who she can't read very well. She makes a friend, Caddy, who eventually ends up dead and floating alongside her boat.
All of the things that happen in this book you see coming- Genevieve is so incredibly naive and how she thought she could do parties and let things go a little further than pole dancing and it'd be all OK, I have no idea. What a moron. But what I absolutely, no way in hell, I could not believe it but it really happened- Dylan. Dude, I had NO IDEA about Dylan and I was flabbergasted. I had one theory that maybe he was a bad guy trying to turn good but no. It's not that, but I certainly didn't see it being what it was. Which, I'm not going to tell you because it clearly ruins it. What I don't understand is why Dylan is the way he is towards Genevieve at the very end. Is he always going to be a non-communicating asshole? Yikes.
But I absolutely loved this book. It didn't have the one liners in the book that literally haunted me and a story that scared the pants off of me like Into the Darkest Corner, but I think that means she's growing as a writer. She definitely has a talent with words and painting scenes and crafting a story around a female lead that has clear faults but is trying to hard to pull her hot mess together. Definitely an author on my favorites list.
Please check out her website, Facebook and/or Twitter. Then buy her books because you'll thank me later like you always do.
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Monday, March 11, 2013
The Dark Heroine
Oh lambwhores, get your "to be read" list out and add this baby on there because you will love it. LOVE it. Swearsies.
The Dark Heroine- Abigail Gibbs
The Dark Heroine- Abigail Gibbs
A chance encounter on a deserted street plunges Violet into a world beyond her wildest imaginings – a world of elegance and beauty where aristocratic vampires live for decadent pleasures…a place from which there is no escape…
But beneath the splendor lies a darkness, embodied in the charismatic but dangerous heir to the throne, Kaspar Varn.
As Violet and Kaspar surrender to a passion that transcends their separate worlds, they soon discover that it’s a passion that comes at a price…
So you know I love me some vampires and romance novels and when you combine the two, it is really hard for me to not like it. I admit- I am a bit biased but this book deserves that love because I really loved it. I also loved Kaspar and dammit why couldn't I have met a hot vampire pre-Matt? WHY, world, why?
*sigh*
But this book is clearly the start of what absolutely be a series. If it is not a series I'm going to be a very unhappy romance novel/danger for the girl/bad boy turning out to the be hero loving reader.
It begins by Violet witnessing the mass murder of 30 humans, in the middle of London, and then being kidnapped by the vampires who do the mass murder and is essentially held hostage ever since. You meet the Varn vampire family, and the prodigal prince son Kaspar along with others who you will either love or hate. It's seriously a toss up and what you feel for them in the beginning will most likely change towards the end.
Vampires are tricky like that.
But then as Violet begins to have feelings for Kaspar, and is conflicted with the political strife which doesn't make sense to her- she finds out (kind of) about the Prophecy and the Heroines. Everything rides on this Prophecy which not everybody believes in, but turns out to be true. Very true. Confusing, but true. And under it all is this really weird "will they or won't they" relationship between Kaspar and Violet. Kaspar is conflicted about Violet because he knows he is "tied" to someone and whether he likes her or not, he's stuck with her but he doesn't know who she is. Violet doesn't know this and while he's developing feelings for Violet, he knows that him being tied to someone will break her heart.
Or will it?
I can't tell you, but I was literally on the edge of my seat finishing this book up. There are still so many unanswered questions- the largest being who are the other heroines? You find out who one and two are in this book but there are many more. And who will die as a result of the discovery of the rest of the heroines? What happens when they go to Athenea?
I'M IN SUSPENSE, PEOPLE.
The best part about this book? Is that really, it reads as a YA because Violet is 17 in the beginning, but it has very adult stuff (not graphic, but you get the hint of what exactly is happening), and I loved having the best of both worlds. I want you to get this right now, read it, and then tell me what you think.
Check out the author's Facebook page as well as her Wattpad page. I am so excited to see where this author goes with the rest of the series because she is going to catch the attention of pretty much every vampire lover out there.
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Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The Bronze and the Brimstone
This is the second book in a trilogy and I'll get the review of the first book up soon, but let's start with this one so I can thoroughly get you all confused.
The Bronze and the Brimstone - Lory Kaufman
Hansum, Shamira and Lincoln, three teens from the 24th-century, are trapped in 14th-century Verona, Italy. They’ve survived many deadly experiences by keeping their wits about them and by introducing futuristic technology into the past. Principal among these inventions is the telescope, which brought them to the attention to the rich and powerful.
But standing out can get you into unexpected and dangerous situations. The nobles of Verona now believe Hansum is a savant, a genius inventor, especially after he brings them plans for advanced cannons and black powder. Being the center of attention is great, but the potential for trouble is now exponentially greater because people are watching Hansum’s every move.
Meanwhile, artistic genius Shamira has fallen for a Florentine artist with bloody and disastrous consequences. Lincoln, considered an incompetent back home in the 24th-century, has blossomed – at least until he’s shot in the head with an arrow. And Hansum, after secretly marrying his new master’s beautiful daughter, Guilietta, is offered the hand in marriage of lady Beatrice, daughter of the ruler of Verona. To refuse could mean calamity for all the teens.
Amazingly, none of this is their biggest challenge. Because a rash illness is spreading across Verona – and it is threatening to consume everyone.
Do they have a future in this past?
OK, now I will say that these books are involved. And by involved, I mean that a LOT of thought and planning went into the writing of all three of these books. Some complaints I have for all three is that in some spots there is too much detail, too much time spent on insignificant things. Some of the dialogue is a little strange but once you get passed that and really look at the story as a whole? It's kind of great.
These book are "Post Dystopian Fiction" and are written far into the future. As a summary, when you're in school and you do something wrong, instead of going into what we call school suspension, these kids go into what are called "history camps" where they essentially learn how hard it was in the past and hopefully they learn to be more respectful and understand what plight it. Except as is the case with school suspension, these kids don't take it seriously and get kicked out history camp and put into the actual past. There are no "enactors" (teachers playing a part)- there is real danger and they are really thrust into it.
In this book lots of things change and are a catalyst for book three, naturally. The really cool thing about this being geared towards YA is that people reading this are actually learning history because a lot of research went into this book. I will say that character wise? Lincoln gets on my nerves. I didn't like him in book one and I didn't like him here either. I like Hansum, who is highly intelligent and very inquisitive, but his judgement in bringing modern day technology to the past has terrible consequences. It seems like the best idea but doesn't work out. Shamira is... OK. I don't know how I feel about her. You know her relationship with her artist beau is a problem but the fact she still does it shows that the author has some experience with teenage girls. HA!
I want to spoil the ending for you because I really liked it and it made me pick up book three immediately after. So, so very excited to finish the third book because there is a baby involved. Take THAT for suspense!
The Bronze and the Brimstone - Lory Kaufman
Hansum, Shamira and Lincoln, three teens from the 24th-century, are trapped in 14th-century Verona, Italy. They’ve survived many deadly experiences by keeping their wits about them and by introducing futuristic technology into the past. Principal among these inventions is the telescope, which brought them to the attention to the rich and powerful.
But standing out can get you into unexpected and dangerous situations. The nobles of Verona now believe Hansum is a savant, a genius inventor, especially after he brings them plans for advanced cannons and black powder. Being the center of attention is great, but the potential for trouble is now exponentially greater because people are watching Hansum’s every move.
Meanwhile, artistic genius Shamira has fallen for a Florentine artist with bloody and disastrous consequences. Lincoln, considered an incompetent back home in the 24th-century, has blossomed – at least until he’s shot in the head with an arrow. And Hansum, after secretly marrying his new master’s beautiful daughter, Guilietta, is offered the hand in marriage of lady Beatrice, daughter of the ruler of Verona. To refuse could mean calamity for all the teens.
Amazingly, none of this is their biggest challenge. Because a rash illness is spreading across Verona – and it is threatening to consume everyone.
Do they have a future in this past?
OK, now I will say that these books are involved. And by involved, I mean that a LOT of thought and planning went into the writing of all three of these books. Some complaints I have for all three is that in some spots there is too much detail, too much time spent on insignificant things. Some of the dialogue is a little strange but once you get passed that and really look at the story as a whole? It's kind of great.
These book are "Post Dystopian Fiction" and are written far into the future. As a summary, when you're in school and you do something wrong, instead of going into what we call school suspension, these kids go into what are called "history camps" where they essentially learn how hard it was in the past and hopefully they learn to be more respectful and understand what plight it. Except as is the case with school suspension, these kids don't take it seriously and get kicked out history camp and put into the actual past. There are no "enactors" (teachers playing a part)- there is real danger and they are really thrust into it.
In this book lots of things change and are a catalyst for book three, naturally. The really cool thing about this being geared towards YA is that people reading this are actually learning history because a lot of research went into this book. I will say that character wise? Lincoln gets on my nerves. I didn't like him in book one and I didn't like him here either. I like Hansum, who is highly intelligent and very inquisitive, but his judgement in bringing modern day technology to the past has terrible consequences. It seems like the best idea but doesn't work out. Shamira is... OK. I don't know how I feel about her. You know her relationship with her artist beau is a problem but the fact she still does it shows that the author has some experience with teenage girls. HA!
I want to spoil the ending for you because I really liked it and it made me pick up book three immediately after. So, so very excited to finish the third book because there is a baby involved. Take THAT for suspense!
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books
Monday, March 4, 2013
The Lass Wore Black
And she fucking rocked the black stuff she wore. Hypothetically speaking, of course. While no pictures were included on the pages, I can only assume she rocked it. Because really, you have to be really homely to not be able to rock black, right??
The Lass Wore Black - Karen Ranney
The Lass Wore Black - Karen Ranney
Catriona Cameron was once famed for her seductive beauty and charm. Now she saw no one, hiding from the world . . . and no one dared break through her self-imposed exile.
No one, that is, until Mark Thorburn burst into her home, and Catriona’s darkened world began to have color again. Thorburn, secretly the heir to an Earldom, claimed he was a footman. But Catriona didn’t care about the scandal their passion could cause . . . for his very touch sparked her back to a life of sensuality, one she thought she’d never have again.
Little does she know that Mark is part of a masquerade. One that will end when they become the target of a madman set on revenge. Mark realizes he will have to do more than win her love . . . he will have to save her life as well.
I'm going to just come right out and say that I have a really not guilty pleasure of loving Avon Books. Growing up I never thought I'd be one of those women who read romance novels at every chance I got, but I also wasn't married and had no idea that I was not Cinderella and that my Prince Charming would snore and occasionally smell bad. But hey- it's the American Dream and I'm living it, lambwhores.
Anyways.
I really liked this book. In most romance novels you have a woman who is rude, bitchy and hates life for really stupid reasons and makes everything an absolute chore, including falling in love. Like it's this huge inconvenience. But Catriona has a legitimate excuse for being locked in her room- she was in a pretty horrific accident that has left her face horribly scarred. She has always gotten through life relying on her beauty and after the accident she no longer has that and she feels like she has nothing to offer a man, let alone anyone else. Sad day.
But then really hot doctor Mark comes along and under the guise that he is a footman in charge of ensuring that she does not starve herself (because she detests doctors so he can't very well go in there saying he is a doctor). He gets to know her without seeing her face (she keeps it hidden behind a heavy veil) and eventually, they have relations and she questions the feelings she feels for him. He also is wondering why he's feeling the way he does about her, neither of them understanding that this is actually love and they should do something about it.
BUT THEN, (dun, dun, dun) Catriona's ex lover Andrew (who is a crazy pants womanizer) is basically trying to kill her under the "if I can't have her, nobody will" idea. Can Mark save her? Does she ever not wear her veil? Will Mark ever even see her face? What the hell happens to Andrew?
I can't tell you, obviously, but I will tell you I really loved this book. And I'm not even on who really likes historical romances but dammit if I'm not intrigued enough to pick up a few more. Specifically things from Karen, she is a fantastic writer. None of her characters are too whiny, the t hings her characters say and do are what you would expect a reasonably normal person would do. Sure, the story has some dramatics but it isn't so over the top where you're left saying, "Are you kidding me right now? Because like THAT would ever happen.". I definitely think you should give this one a shot if you are in the mood for a good romance novel and/or feeling especially fat and ugly after eating a box of truffles and on your period.
Not that I say that from experience. Obviously.
In the meantime, check out Karen's webpage, Facebook, or Twitter to see what she is up to and look at her other books.
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books
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Naked and All In.
I bet you thought I was blogging while naked or something. But fear not lambwhores, I am fully clothed but I am talking about books.
Naked (The Blackstone Affair #1) - Raine Miller
Brynne Bennett is living the good life. An American art student at the University of London and part-time photographic model, she’s putting her life back on track with school and lots of hard work. When ultra successful London businessman, Ethan Blackstone, buys her nude portrait, he isn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer. He wants Brynne in his bed and makes plans to keep her there no matter what. His dominant nature captivates and ensnares despite the demons she carries inside her. But there are secrets in this relationship. Huge ones. Can Ethan free Brynne from the past that has marked her? Will Brynne let him or will the specters tormenting her resurface to destroy them both…
I'm just going to get my complaint out of the way right off the bat because I'm finding myself getting really annoyed with romance novels post Fifty Shades- we need to move past the vulnerable woman with emotional issues and wealthy men with control issues. We need to. You can change settings, names, and little things but basically it's all the same story that we're reading. Come up with an original idea.
That being said? I did like the book because I liked Fifty Shades. Granted, we don't have the BDSM theme running through the book but everything is basically the same. Brynne is emotionally fragile and she meets Ethan, who is hired by her father to basically look after her because of potential threats in regards to her horrible past. He basically falls for her and she falls for him but of course she finds out that he's not just interested in her and that he was in fact, hired by her father, so they have a falling out. Just like you knew it would.
Despite it being so incredibly similar to Fifty Shades, it's different enough where you find yourself reading it to the end and eagerly picking up the second one.
All In (Blackstone Affair, #2) - Raine Miller
The second part in The Blackstone Affair series! Looming danger. A love worth fighting for. A man who’ll go all in.
Ethan Blackstone has a problem on his hands. He’s broken Brynne’s trust and she’s left him. He’s unwilling to live without her and isn’t giving up—he’s dead-set on getting his beautiful American girl back. The passion between them was explosive, but the secrets they hid from each other are dark and chilling and are powerful enough to destroy their shot at a life together. With political threats now directed at Brynne, Ethan is running out of time and he’ll need to gather all his strength and agility to protect her from the dangers that could take her away from him forever. Will Ethan be able to save Brynne from a past that keeps her locked in fear? Will he ever feel the warmth of her touch, the solidity of her trust again? This is a love-struck man who is willing to do whatever it takes to possess the heart of the woman he loves. He’ll go to any lengths to protect her. He’ll go all in.
Here is the fiery story of what happens when two people surrender to a love so great it can heal the scars of the past and give way to a life of pure, rapturous ecstasy.
And dammit if I didn't like this one better than the first. Again, the story line is still remarkably similar to Fifty Shades that I did find myself frustrated and I was a little let down knowing that I already knew what would happen. This story is told through Ethan's point of view which honestly, I liked better than Brynne's. Brynne has all of these emotional issues and I really struggle with people who can't just buck the hell up in life, so I find myself not liking Brynne at times. Every time things get dicey you run? Come on, get over yourself nut job.
Of course we find out more about the threats against Brynne and finally at the end of the book we get some action! I'm finding myself hoping that book three turns into something more like a black ops vet saves the girl book.
Despite my annoyance of the series so far being predictable, I do like Raine's writing style and I do think she holds real promise as a writer. I will definitely check out other works of hers in the future.
Naked (The Blackstone Affair #1) - Raine Miller
Brynne Bennett is living the good life. An American art student at the University of London and part-time photographic model, she’s putting her life back on track with school and lots of hard work. When ultra successful London businessman, Ethan Blackstone, buys her nude portrait, he isn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer. He wants Brynne in his bed and makes plans to keep her there no matter what. His dominant nature captivates and ensnares despite the demons she carries inside her. But there are secrets in this relationship. Huge ones. Can Ethan free Brynne from the past that has marked her? Will Brynne let him or will the specters tormenting her resurface to destroy them both…
I'm just going to get my complaint out of the way right off the bat because I'm finding myself getting really annoyed with romance novels post Fifty Shades- we need to move past the vulnerable woman with emotional issues and wealthy men with control issues. We need to. You can change settings, names, and little things but basically it's all the same story that we're reading. Come up with an original idea.
That being said? I did like the book because I liked Fifty Shades. Granted, we don't have the BDSM theme running through the book but everything is basically the same. Brynne is emotionally fragile and she meets Ethan, who is hired by her father to basically look after her because of potential threats in regards to her horrible past. He basically falls for her and she falls for him but of course she finds out that he's not just interested in her and that he was in fact, hired by her father, so they have a falling out. Just like you knew it would.
Despite it being so incredibly similar to Fifty Shades, it's different enough where you find yourself reading it to the end and eagerly picking up the second one.
All In (Blackstone Affair, #2) - Raine Miller
The second part in The Blackstone Affair series! Looming danger. A love worth fighting for. A man who’ll go all in.
Ethan Blackstone has a problem on his hands. He’s broken Brynne’s trust and she’s left him. He’s unwilling to live without her and isn’t giving up—he’s dead-set on getting his beautiful American girl back. The passion between them was explosive, but the secrets they hid from each other are dark and chilling and are powerful enough to destroy their shot at a life together. With political threats now directed at Brynne, Ethan is running out of time and he’ll need to gather all his strength and agility to protect her from the dangers that could take her away from him forever. Will Ethan be able to save Brynne from a past that keeps her locked in fear? Will he ever feel the warmth of her touch, the solidity of her trust again? This is a love-struck man who is willing to do whatever it takes to possess the heart of the woman he loves. He’ll go to any lengths to protect her. He’ll go all in.
Here is the fiery story of what happens when two people surrender to a love so great it can heal the scars of the past and give way to a life of pure, rapturous ecstasy.
And dammit if I didn't like this one better than the first. Again, the story line is still remarkably similar to Fifty Shades that I did find myself frustrated and I was a little let down knowing that I already knew what would happen. This story is told through Ethan's point of view which honestly, I liked better than Brynne's. Brynne has all of these emotional issues and I really struggle with people who can't just buck the hell up in life, so I find myself not liking Brynne at times. Every time things get dicey you run? Come on, get over yourself nut job.
Of course we find out more about the threats against Brynne and finally at the end of the book we get some action! I'm finding myself hoping that book three turns into something more like a black ops vet saves the girl book.
Despite my annoyance of the series so far being predictable, I do like Raine's writing style and I do think she holds real promise as a writer. I will definitely check out other works of hers in the future.
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books
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