Back to School 2023-2024

I feel like we've had a really great, long summer, and it felt like more than three months. We managed to get a ton of concerts, two road trips, a county fair, swimming in our pool, and lots of yard play. It was a pretty great summer, but like every year, school has begun. 

Olivia is a senior this year and I'm not even ready for it. She's ready for it though and it is so exciting to see all of her hard work all of these years coming to an end. She's gearing up for new adventures, but I hope she enjoys this year to the absolute fullest. Jackson is a sophomore and he's going to be learning how to drive this year and that feels weird to me. I'm actually excited about that because that kid needs freedom and that's the gateway to freedom. 

Penelope is in third grade and she is READY. Multiplication and division is her biggest challenges this year but if anyone is up for it, it is most definitely her. Lucy is in second grade this year and she's nervous about it. It's so hard seeing her grow because I want her to stay little but it is also exciting seeing her hit new milestones. Now if she could just learn how to tie her shoes, we'd be set. 

It's exciting because Jackson is trying a new sport, Olivia is going to continue with dance, same with Lucy, and we might get Penelope into swimming. She needs to find an activity she feels fits her, we just haven't found it yet. 

I am hoping to get into good routines again now that everyone is in school. I need to get back into my weight loss routines, I need work on positive self talk, I need to get back into being mindful, and I really need to get back into doing kind things for others. I always due, but I think I need to do more, more often. I'm trying to make goals for each month and really work towards them, including budgeting. I'm doing well with that but you know, we can always do better. 

But fall is here, and I'm here for it. It's going to be a good fall. I'm trying to not let mental health get the best of me like it usually does, so stay tuned. It'll be OK. 

Summer of Concerts: Sam Smith

When I think back to the summer of 2023, the whole year actually, I will remember how many concerts we went to this year. I wouldn't trade it for anything, spending time with my teens is always great because the time is fleeting. Soon my oldest will be in college and it'll be so quiet. And weird.  

One of the concerts we went to this year was Sam Smith, which was a last minute ticket for us. There were seats for $25 so who is turning that down? I mean, really. 

Back in the day I could drive to St. Paul and back (it's about two and a half hours one way) with no problem. Now I have to pre-game and by pre-game I mean I have to take a nap knowing I won't get to go to bed at my usual time of 10pm. I'm old now and I don't even feel bad about it. On this day I didn't get my nap because I had appointments so by the time I got to the concert I was exhausted. 

The opener was Jessie Reyez who I wasn't familiar with, but she was pretty good. 

I've already seen Sam Smith live before and I know that he is a tremendous performer. With that said, I'm not a huge fan of this weird Gloria phase he's in, but you know, do you, booboo. 

Jackson isn't a huge fan but he's a fan of live music, but Olivia really likes Sam Smith, so she was all about this. 

It ended up being a great concert. We left with like five songs left but truly, I was fading fast and having to drive another two and a half hours in the dark was daunting. We were missing the newer stuff so I was OK with that. 

We had a good time though and I'm so surprised it wasn't sold out. He's a great live performer and if you get the chance to see him, especially at $25 for a seat, absolutely take advantage of that! The people watching alone was completely worth it. I'm always a fan of drunk people hanging over balconies and you're just wondering if they are going to go over or puke. It's really a toss up, you know? Either way, it's bonus entertainment. 

Book Review: Ride or Die

 I can't believe I didn't post at all in August. We did go on our second road trip of the summer and then the back to school prep kind of took me out. I'm back now and with one of the best memoirs I've read in awhile, a husband's journey through grief. It isn't very long but oh so impactful. 

Ride or Die - Jarie Bolander

Modern society has a warped sense of the partner-caregiver role, especially for men. Too often, men are ill equipped to handle switching from provider to caregiver, and the “just suck it up” advice so many offer up falls as flat as the Kansas prairie in the face of the reality of life and death.

Ride or Die takes its audience through the intimate conversations and thoughts of a Gen-X latchkey-generation husband—a man who has always had to fend for himself and believed that it’s up to him to solve his own problems—as and after his wife, Jane, succumbs to a terminal disease.

Jarie Bolander wrote this raw, heartfelt tribute to Jane and her handling of her illness to help men and the people who love them through the experience of loss and grief. A frank chronicle of how an intimate relationship can change and grow—even when the people involved feel there is nothing left to give— Ride or Die offers a detailed exploration of the male experience of grief, in the hopes that others suffering through it will not feel so alone.

Right off the bat, this reminded me of Matt and I. Sure, I don't have cancer and I am not dead, but it just struck me that this could have been Matt. And though I am not dealing with cancer, after having Lucy I haven't been anywhere near the same. I'm left with a multitude of ailments and illnesses and complications that are here for the rest of my days and that's meant that Matt had to change, too. Where I was once overachieving working and PTO mom, volunteering us left and right and going out of my way to help everyone while maintaining a perfect home and cooked meals everyday, I am now that absolute opposite. It is hard to get out of bed, I'm not volunteering anywhere, I'm not working, I had to quit the PTO, my house is a mess and I can't cook to save my life. But, like the author mentions, "the sickness and health" seems like an abstract thought until you're hip deep into it. 

In Ride or Die, we follow Jarie at the unexpected start of a cancer battle with his wife, Jane. We know she doesn't survive so its a real arc and you feel like you're on this journey with them. I absolutely loved this book and read it in one sitting because I couldn't stop. Jane reminded me so much of myself and Jarie reminded me of Matt, except I don't know that Matt would have even offered to keep my business afloat! 

Me, fresh out of the ICU, and Matt- August 2016

I really loved the circle of friends Jane and Jarie had and how in their own way, each one rallied to support them even in the darker days. Jane was the strongest woman battling leukemia and I'd like to think I can understand what her frustrations were maybe like having been an everything to everyone woman myself and knowing I can't do it, but I want to, that need never shuts off in your brain. You still have those expectations of yourself despite being unable to do it, which makes you feel bad and guilty. So for her to battle that, and leukemia, at the same time is just remarkable. I'd like to think she'd be proud of her husband for everything he did for and around her. 

I highly recommend this one, it's powerful and just heartbreaking, but a true testament to love. Big thank you to SparkPoint Press for inviting me on this book tour, all thoughts are my own. 

This post contains affiliate links.