Friday, October 24, 2014

Sometimes you actually need to be financially responsible.

I'll be honest, I'm probably going to get a lack of flack for this post and I'm OK with that. Because I feel like this is something we're all thinking, but nobody wants to be that jerk to say it, so I'll just be that jerk. Is not meant to cover your ass because you are bad at budgeting your money.

In the last three months I have seen over twenty of these accounts show up on my Facebook feed for various reasons. We have people who want to buy a home, can't pay their utilities/rent/etc, wants a more reliable car, wants to bump up the Christmas fund for their kids, wants to have more money because we have a stay at home mom/one income household, etc.

Which, all things it would be so nice to have extra money for. I get it, I really do. Matt and I don't get to do a lot because we have bills and that's a total buzzkill. He works, on average, 80 hours a week, and I'm working part time so I can shuttle kids to/from things and maintain the house while he's gone almost all of the time. It sucks.

You know what else sucks? Having to say no to nice jeans so I can pay my light bill. That sucks a lot. I'd really like to get a pair of jeans that fit me properly, or shoes that don't hurt the arch of my feet. Matt would like new glasses, he hasn't had any in twelve years, but we have a mortgage and utility bill that comes every month and damn if they don't want their money.

Websites like that are meant for tragic, out of your control situations like cancer, your house burned down, someone was in a horrific accident, etc. They are not meant to be your fix all because you can't manage your money. And this is coming from someone who will donate or buy a ticket to a benefit, even if I know I won't be there. You show me a tragedy and I'm there with my checkbook out because that's awful. I try so hard to help everyone I can who genuinely needs it. I always feel like I want confirmation that this really is a necessary last resort. To the people who can't pay their bills- show me that you have made an effort to utilize every financial avenue out there, including financial counseling because you clearly need it. You need someone to teach you how to budget because it's not like bills come up out of nowhere.

And then the people who ask for money to upgrade their lifestyle? How about you get another job? Maybe cut out expenses in your life you don't need like cable/satellite, your cell phone, Internet, whatever. You don't need any of those things. You really don't. Lots of people get by every day just fine without them. It's not convenient or fun, I'll give you that, but if you really want to upgrade in your life, you're willing to sacrifice in other areas.

It's getting to be a bit ridiculous. It's like nobody understands the concept of working hard to go anywhere in life. It's not meant to be easy. I don't think Matt wants to work that much, and I'd certainly love to not work, but we need to because we want to own a home and own our vehicles. We want to pay our bills on time every month and we want to eat things other than Easy Mac for dinner. I think back to when my mom was raising my brother and I on her own. She worked her ass off every single day, she'd pull doubles regularly, sometimes more, and sleep on the couch because she had no bed. We had the only bed in our apartment. I can't tell you in all of the years I've been alive how many times my mom ever went out with friends. I honestly think it's none. I'm not saying you should sacrifice your sanity because I know the value of getting away for a night, but some of these people who want all of these things are also the people out clubbing or having drinks on the regular. You know, I feel like if you have time to go out drinking, you have time to get a second job. It's like priorities are meaningless anymore, we'd rather just have a hand out from someone else.


Unknown said...

I totally agree with you. I'm doing my PhD, and so I don't have a crazy income, and there's a lot of things I like, but I can't afford them, so they wait. I know you and Matt work REALLY hard to afford what you have, and sometimes they means sacrificing other things.

Unknown said...

feel you on this. mike and i have a budget, if we go over and can't pay something. it's on us. it sucks, but that's it. we stick to the budget, we get a savings going and then maybe we can splurge on something.

also, check out firmoo for glasses. if he can get a rx you get your first pair of glasses free from there and coastal too. if you hate your glasses they are pretty good at letting you return them and
pick out a new pair.

Unknown said...

I'm totally with you. I've seen these show up so many times on facebook and every time it just makes my blood boil. I think when this whole gofundme movement started I saw it and thought, "Wow. What an awesome way for people to get help for a really shitty situation." I saw people who couldn't afford surgery for their child or their house burned down right before christmas and they just wanted to be able to get their kids something, etc. Then in the last few months I have seen nothing but these "gofundme bc I don't want to work," sites and it's making me so mad. Thanks for saying what everyone else is thinking because honestly it's bullshit and I hope that no one donates to that crap because there are plenty of other good causes out there that could use the funds!

Tamara said...

No flack from me! I couldn't agree more with this post. I love that there is a website that allows people to donate to a worthy cause, especially when there are tragic circumstances but it is just fucking ridiculous how people are taking advantage of it. I'd really love for people to pay off my house but nope, guess I'll suck it up and work my ass off and forgo that new vehicle so I can the pay the mortgage. Ugh, people.

Julie H said...

Yeah kind of sounds like begging eh? I've done a few that are for people I know who are DYING and want to take that last trip to Disneyland with their kids (and he did before he died) but I'd never donate so someone could get more Christmas presents, that's just redic.

Julie H said...

Yeah kind of sounds like begging eh? I've done a few that are for people I know who are DYING and want to take that last trip to Disneyland with their kids (and he did before he died) but I'd never donate so someone could get more Christmas presents, that's just redic.

Ruth said...

I saw some guy do that to get dentures. I would like to think that he did that because he could not find a job and he was pretty sure his awful teeth were a reason he had trouble getting one. But, he is also a moocher.
I would love more money. I would love a job. But, neither one will happen soon because of needing another car first.