Book Review: What We Give, What We Take

Are you completely full of jelly beans? I am! I can't even say I ate them just yesterday, I've been eating Sweet Tart jelly beans for months now because even at 40 years old, I have zero self control. Let's start the week off with a book review though. 

What We Give, What We Take - Randi Triant

In 1967, Fay Stonewell, a water tank escape artist in Florida, leaves for Vietnam to join the Amazing Humans—a jerry-rigged carnival there to entertain the troops—abandoning her disabled teenage son, Dickie, to the care of an abusive boyfriend.

Months after Fay’s departure, Dickie’s troubled home life ends in a surprising act of violence that forces him to run away. He soon lands in Manhattan, where he’s taken in by eccentric artist Laurence Jones. Fay, meanwhile, is also facing dangerous threats. From the night her plane jolts onto a darkened Saigon runway, she is forced to confront every bad decision she’s ever made as she struggles to return to her son. But the Humans owner is hell-bent on keeping her in Vietnam, performing only for war-injured children at a hospital, daily reminders of the son she’s left behind.

Decades later, Dickie is forty, living in a Massachusetts coastal town with a man who’s dying of AIDS, and doing everything he can to escape his past. But although Spin may be giving Dickie what he’s always wanted—a home without wheels—it seems that the farther Dickie runs, the tighter the past clings to him.

Ultimately, What We Give, What We Take is a deeply moving story of second chances and rising above family circumstances, however dysfunctional they may be.

Wow, wow, wow. I honestly don't know if I can do this book any justice because it was just so good. It's such an incredible picture of a dysfunctional family, at best, but also the complications of second chances, but also shows us that our past never really escapes us. I also honestly don't want to talk too much about this because I went into this knowing nothing about it (aside from the description on the back) and I think that was really for the best. Having each event pop up when it does and watching how it plays out for both Dickie (the son) and Fay (his mom), even when they are separate, it was so interesting. I had such a hard time putting this one down, so I ended up getting through this book over the course of two days and it was so good. 

You have to go into this knowing it will be an absolute emotional rollercoaster and even at the end I felt like I needed to just think about it, and put some time in between my next book. It also has a suspense thread running through it, which I didn't expect but I really loved it. I also liked that the author wasn't afraid to really tackle the HIV/AIDS crisis and everything that came with that. As a mother I struggled, but also understood, Fay's ambivalence towards motherhood but I definitely can't understand the choices she made, so that alone was fascinating to me. Even at the end, I feel like I should understand her better but I really don't. The story is completely heartbreaking, and it isn't really about redemption, but this would make an amazing book club read. I feel like this would give you so many discussion points but also everyone is going to feel differently about it, I suppose given your own life experiences. 

Overall, this was a fascinating read that you absolutely should pick up if you're in need of an emotional rollercoaster. Thank you to She Writes Press for sending me a copy for review, this was definitely 4 stars. No question.  

Book Review: Where Do You Hang Your Hammock

It's Wednesday, and school ends for my kids on Friday and I am equal parts thrilled and annoyed. I am not ready for everyone home all day, every day but I also love knowing I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn and put pants on if I don't want to. I mean, that's a win. 

Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? - Bella Mahaya Carter

In Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? seasoned coach and author Bella Mahaya Carter shows writers how to use their present circumstances as stepping-stones to a successful and meaningful writing life, navigated from the inside out. It encourages writers and authors to rethink their ambitions (which may be fueled by the tyrannical demands of the ego) and trust in their heartfelt purpose and values in the journey to becoming, or continuing on, as authors.

Many writers believe their self-sabotaging thoughts are trustworthy and true. They take rejection personally. They surmise that if they don’t achieve their goals they have failed, and lose sight of who they are and what matters most.

This book is for writers looking for inspiration and for authors daunted by the publishing process, who might lack the requisite author platform to get published the way they dreamed, or whose careers may not be unfolding as expected. It aims to be the friend and trusted expert writers turn to when hijacked by their own thinking. Ultimately, it reminds authors that they are infinite creators.

If you know me at all, you know I have been working on writing a memoir about the birth of Lucy, my amniotic fluid embolism, dying, then not dying, then the aftermath in which we are all flying by the seat of our pants, and how that is really hard on a family in general, the unseen side of surviving death, if you will. 

I mean, I'm not done, but I feel like I have a solid outline and the basics in there, I just need all of the stories connecting things to make it a book. I feel like the advice of "just write, it'll come out!" is probably the worst advice ever but also the first block in the wall that is writer's block because... where do you start? I feel like, for me at least, if you give me an assignment with actual steps, that is easier to process versus something vague like just do it. 

That's where this book comes in. When I say this has kicked my rear into gear? I am 100% genuine. I have referenced this book so many times when I go back to review what I've already done, made some changes and it feels more like me. I love the author's way with words, she writes with common sense so it doesn't feel like you're reading the most boring textbook of all time. The book has so many chunks to really get into, and it feels like it is a step by step process (as writing and publishing is) and you aren't going to read this cover to cover, you read the chunk you're in. 

I loved, loved, loved the information about publishing, and the information about promoting. The great thing is how relevant this book is even if you aren't specifically writing a book. Maybe you're just writing essays to get published, or maybe you're trying to become an influencer and just need some guidance- the promotion chunk in this book is full of really great information, most of which I had no idea so I highlighted a bunch of things that I felt might be best for me. 

Also a favorite- throughout the book there are journaling prompts and that has some significant question to really get you back to basics. The very first one was the one that stumped me the most and actually a question I get asked in therapy all of the time and struggle with, who are you? Seriously think about that and strip away all of the things: your job, your family, your hobbies, your likes/dislikes, the way you look, etc- when you take literally everything away.... who are you? Part two of that is also a stumper, in what way(s) might I filter my primary experience through the roles that I play? 

Do you see what I mean? These questions are HARD. I mean, I don't think they are meant to be but I really struggle with this kind of stuff and I think about it a lot. 

I really enjoyed this book and it has really inspired me to work on my own book some more. The short chapters are nice because you can get through the book quickly, but if you take your time and actually do the journaling prompts, you will get so much more out of this and also get a better idea of what kind of writer you already are. I feel like it also helps put other parts of your life in focus as well, so if you don't consider yourself a writer, it might really help you get a better idea of where you need to put your attention to in your life in general. 

A huge thank you to Bella Mahaya Carter, She Writes Press, and FSB Associates for having me on this tour and providing a copy for review. If you're really just stuck, or need a little pick me up in your writing, I highly suggest giving this one a try. 

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