Tuesday, March 16, 2010

So after Chicago deemed me easy- it just wanted to cuddle.

Have you missed my first two posts on Chicago? (HERE and HERE) Well then you need to catch up. Otherwise you'll be the loser in the class that can't read.
So on my last post I showed you some of what we did on Saturday. But what also happened on Saturday was, apparently, the St. Patrick's Day/Observation Day celebration in Chicago. I always forget when traveling that you should try to go on a holiday. Nevermind what all those travel sites tell you. Because celebrating St. Pats in Chicago is AMAZING.
Because they dye the mother fucking river GREEN!!

So here is Matt and I in front of the bright ass green river. Which at first I automatically thought "Wow- they should get their sewage under control" but then I thought "Oh wait..I'm so fucking stupid." But yay! I pretty much convinced everyone to purchase these cheap ass shamrock beads because I didn't want to be the only loser in the huge crowd with NOTHING green on. I mean come on. So I made Matt get me two. Because two is my fav number AND because I have to be difficult. But I prefer to label myself as "different".
I will say there was some really atrocious outfits. Fat girls in bright green spandex. A lot of spandex and leggins were happening and I'd say 90% of it was on girls who had no business wearing it. Now I am no where near the weight of these chicks but you will never catch my ass in spandex.
Here's me rocking out with probably the worst hot chocolate I have ever had in my life. Starbucks can maybe make a good coffee (I don't drink coffee so I'll just take other people's word for it) but they butcher a fucking hot chocolate. Bitches.
More green river!

So we walked over, in the rain, to see the parade. Which yeah...wasn't going to happen. For one, we're all short. Like I'm 5'3 and tallest of our group (Matt) is 5'10. So by the time we got to the parade place it was packed. I had the idea of standing on this garbage can but then a 4 year old beat me too it. Brat. But in lieu of that we walked back over to Millenium Park. Which is fabulous.
And I will admit, I'm pretyt damn ignorant when it comes to famous things in cities. I just have no clue. Like I might look stuff up before I go but usually I don't. I pretty much rely on locals. But Dena kept talking about some fucking bean and I'm thinking, "I don't like beans" but then yeah. It's not a real bean. It's a giant mirrored bean shaped thingie. It's obviously reflective so here is me being a dork in the bean. (And some of my followers got a text pic of me in the bean. Apparently nobody cared. Or thought I lost my mind talking about beans)
Then the brothers, Matt and Karl, had to get in on the bean action. Wow- making their momma proud. I sure hope we make the family Christmas card.

And then once the novelty of the bean wore off, Matt took my picture in front of some huge building. Except you can't really see me because he sucks ass taking pictures.
Here's another Sara Fun Fact: I fucking LOVE picketers. I love a good protest. I would have been in my element in the 60's. And not only did Chicago give me a green river and not give me an STD, but it also gave me a good protest. And not just ANY protest. No, Chicago (obviously jockeying for a second date) gave me a SCIENTOLOGY protest! I fucking love it. I knew I had to get my picture taken with the masked crazies. And thank god when I asked this chick she was all eager beaver about it.
So here is Karl and I making friends with the crazy protest chick:
And although you can't see it well in this picture, my hands say "Free Suri" and Karl's says "Free Kate". Yes- that was my idea. And yes, the crazy chick loved it.
But then down the block, and I failed to get their picture which bums me out, were the talented protest guys who could break dance with masks on. They had fab music going and let's be real- anybody using fucking Pac Man images and electrical tape on a sign is awesome in my book.
That was pretty much it for Saturday in Chicago. It was a LOT of walking. I only did my fuckmill one day last week but the amount of walking I did over the two days we were there more than made up for it.
Now before I close out for the evening, pleace check out Amber and Chicken- they got their box from the Sara Awesomeness Giveaway and posted about it. Mr. O tells me he got his so yay! The mail system prevails!
Tomorrow I'm going to post about Hooters. And not just about MY particular hooters, but the fine family dining establishment. I promise you it will be funny. You *may* pee your pants. (Disclaimer: if you do, I am not responsible for cleaning up after your stank ass). ALSO!!! More FABULOUS news. I am going to be having another giveaway- look for this on Thursday. It's going to be artwork from a fellow blogger who is the shiznit and it's going to be fun! Supa fun! Yay!


Danielle said...

When I went to Chicago I heard about "the bean" as well, and didn't get it until I got there! We took an hour to take different pictures in the bean! My friend that lives there has a huuuuuge picture frame with everyone who has visited there in front of the bean! Its awesome! Glad you got to experience it! :)

The green river?! FUCKING SICK!!!! I wish I could have physically been there, despite the fact that I'm Puerto Rican and Lebanese so therefore, I don't have an ounce of Irish in me, its still pretty freakin sweet!

The things you wrote on your hands about Scientology, hilarious! Clearly displays why you're the shit! :)

Glad you had an awesome weekend Sara! I got away to Chicago this weekend too, vicariously through you! :)

Anonymous said...

The green river pic is awesome!

Julie H said...

I wonder if the environmentalists protest dying the river green. I'm sure it fucks something up.

Josie said...

That's the coolest fucking river I've ever seen.

Karls said...

I'm still just plain old jealous you saw Muse!

Organic Meatbag said...

That river is green because I was swimming naked in it...

Chicken said...

Green beer = Green vomit...are you sure the river was dyed? I love the jazz hands you're sporting in the picture with the hot chocholate. P.S. We cannot be friends if you don't like the evil empire of Starbucks. I believe those people own my soul.

Amber said...

The bean pictures are adorable :]

April said...

That river is AMAZING!
It almost makes me feel bad that Chicago is going to such extreme to celebrate St Paddy's day when over here we are pretty much ignoring the whole event.

And I am STILL jealous about the whole seeing-Muse situation...

Sam said...

I love The Bean. I had it set as my background for the longest time. Starbucks hot chocolate definitely blows. Sorry you had to taste that. They should just give you a cup of warm milk and a packet of swiss miss and you make it yourself, it would be way better!! :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is so ridiculously awesome. New resolution- MUST visit Chicago for St. Patties one day!
PS. Cool blog hun :)

Jaime Hungry said...

No way they color the river there?? Not fair! I go to Savannah (the freakin St. Patty's capital of the US!) and they don't it anymore! Something about the "enviroment" or "fish lives" or something or other, I don't know but I'm mad! I want a green f'n river!!

Anonymous said...

AWWWW....way to make me miss my second home now. But I am glad that you had a good time though. It is better being in Chicago at xmas time though.

It's Just Me said...

I love Scientology haters. Somewhere on this internet machine that I own, is a blog about them crazy mo'fos. I need to find that.

Sara said...

Love these Chicago posts! The green river is awesome! Your protesting it funny! :D