I'm doing such a horrible job working out, I'm almost ashamed I'm even talking about it. I think there are only two things keeping me motivated to try, this blog and what I have planned in April.
First up, you guys are HARSH but in a good way and I need to be called out on my crap when I suck. And right now? I suck. I know it, you know it, we all know it. I will tell you that this week I've done my recumbent bike a few times for at least a mile each time and I've done my treadmill twice. Fun fact, tomorrow I'll talk about my visit to the pulmonary place for testing, but guess what? You guys- my wheezing is a thing. It's not just me being fat, there's something not super with my lungs. So last night I ran on my treadmill for a song and then walked for another 10 minutes and swear on your life, my lungs were on FIRE. I had a wet cough, wheezing, my chest felt like it had been hit by a semi, the whole bit for almost an hour afterwards. I did the doctor online thing and they recorded this in my file (in case I forget by the time I get to my appointment which is 100% likely) and told me not to do that again until I see them. So I'll stick to my bike for a bit and hope for the best.
But you guys, it's practically February and I have this thing in April. I need to lose like 60 pounds by then, ideally.
Ha!
On Black Friday I decided on a complete whim, after being complemented on my eyes online by a lovely women's group, to sign up for a boudoir photo shoot. I almost did one years ago but couldn't because Matt's grandma was having a birthday party the same day and that was more important considering it was her last one, literally. But I wish I was as fat now as I was then because shit, bitch- I was THIN compared to now. This time I am going into it 100% terrified knowing full well my body is not in any way sexy. I'm reading a book right now where the character is in the process of losing weight but still sees herself as massive and everyone around her assures her she's hot, she just doesn't see it. I hope that's the case here but man... I don't feel it. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just glad that I didn't do March or February, I still have some chance to tone something up. These photographers are amazing though and everything I've seen has been incredible and beautiful so I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm giving them (hopefully) to Matt as an anniversary present but it's a surprise!! Don't tell him. I might be more nervous to give them to him because in a previous conversation, AFTER I booked this, he mentioned how he thinks this kind of thing is dumb so that's great. Hopefully they'll be so great it'll change his mind.
I just really wish it were summer, or at least warmer, so I could get outside for walks. I might actually take up mall walking because I feel like I could find a friend to do that with me at least. Matt went down to a local agency to see if we qualify for a reduced cost YMCA membership because no way could I afford a full priced one, but I know I have friends who go there and I do better with a buddy. I need someone to do things with me, preferably someone in just as rough of shape as me. Ha! That way we can trip over equipment and feel like we are going to die together!
What are you doing? Are you doing anything to stay in shape in 2018? Have you ever done a boudoir photo session?
5 comments:
I started BBG this year and I love it!
It can be so tough to workout, especially in winter! That's awful that you're having trouble breathing on the treadmill - definitely hold off on that until a doctor checks it out! The mall walking idea is a good idea to avoid the bitter cold weather of winter but still get some exercise :) Have fun with the boudoir photo shoot! I've never done one, but it sounds interesting.
I'm sure the photo shoot photos will look awesome! Honestly, I think you look great, but I DO wish I lived close to you because I would totally work out with you and we could feel like we're dying together for sure. haha I'm thinking of joining a gym in February so we'll see how that goes. I mostly just want to find some classes to do because that's slightly easier for me than trying to do something on my own. I'm so unmotivated half the the time, but I know I need to get moving more. Sigh.
-Lauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net
I would love to work out but I can't even stand without horrible pain
I really want to start doing yoga again. I keep telling myself it's time but then each morning I wake up and am all, "Ugh... too sleepy." Like... really? For real? Get your ass out of bed and do it. So annoyed with myself.
Also, I have done 2 boudoir shoots and both times was definitely curvy. It's all in how you feel. I promise no matter your size you are going to LOVE it.
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