Friday, August 21, 2020

Book Review: The Grown Woman's Guide to Online Dating

Oh calm down, I'm not trying to date anyone! I am still happily married to Matt, but I was interested in this book because I now have three friends who are trying to find people online to date and each one are having wildly different experiences. All of them are using different dating sites/apps and to me, the entire process is bizarre and kind of terrifying, hence, this book. I just wanted to learn more about it so that maybe I can give better advice than, "I don't know, he sounds like a serial killer." One of these times I'm going to be right, I'm just throwing that out there. Ha! 

The Grown Woman's Guide to Online Dating - Margot Starbuck

Does the thought of joining a dating site invoke feelings of fear and anxiety—or, worse, insecurity or unworthiness? If so, then The Grown Woman’s Guide to Online Dating is the book for you. With practical advice about how these sites work, what to expect, and when to join and quit, along with proven tips for making the most of them, The Grown Woman’s Guide equips readers with all they need to take the plunge.

Four years after an unexpected divorce, bestselling writer and funny lady Margot Starbuck found herself venturing into the unknown waters of online dating. What she discovered surprised her—and changed her. With her signature sharp wit and a solid biblical foundation, Margot shares what she learned, including how to:

determine which sites are best and what to expect;
write a first message that is most likely to get a response;
avoid common pitfalls in creating your profile; and
live out the truth that you are God’s beloved.
So dive into embracing your true value and drawing closer to God even in the midst of fear and questions. Because whatever your endgame might be, richness awaits. Margot promises, “You got this, girl!”

Right out the gate, if you tell me to write a profile about myself I would have absolutely no idea what to say. None. I'm with myself every day, you'd think I'd be able to tell you what I would (ideally) want in another person. 

You would be wrong. 

I can write a pretty all right resume and cover letter. I cannot write a profile. The best part about this book by far for me were the chapters on how to create a profile that stands out, conveys what you want others to know about you right away, and to pick the right picture. I've never been on dating sites but I've seen enough texts from friends of pictures they've seen to know a lot of you need to learn how to take a decent picture of yourself. And guys, please for the love of everything, stop posting shirtless photos and photos of you holding a fish. Honestly. Just stop it. 

Also interesting about this book, that I think a lot of my friends who are on these apps would find useful, is the entire section on browsing someone's profile and picking up clues about them as a person, but ALSO, the "Seeking Discernment" section, which talks about how to gauge their interest and taking risks. 

I feel like I should also mention this book does have a religious base to it, and although God is mentioned, I do feel like if that isn't your jam that you will still find value in this book and it would prove useful. I also really like that this book covers catfishing and safety, it also has a chapter/section about how to tell if the person you are talking to might ghost you. Also valuable is the chapter on red flags. I know in my first relationship there were a million red flags but I was certainly far too young to see them as such, and in hindsight I realize how naive I was. In the end it talks about the different ways an online relationship will end and how to navigate how you feel through all of them. 

Overall? I have to say this book was rather interesting, and I think this is really aimed more for someone new to the world of online dating; although, I do think that if someone is getting poor (or no) results from it, this might help you fine tune your profile and how you communicate with people. I thought it was funny in the right parts, and though the Bible passages spread throughout aren't my thing, they are easily ignored so I wouldn't let that steer you away. 

Thank you to Thomas Nelson Publishing and TLC Book Tours for having me on this tour and sending a copy for review to me. I'd easily give this one 4 stars. If you're nervous about jumping in, this will really help make it less scary. 

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