Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Book Review: Saved by Hope

Hi, is it Friday? No? Well, crap.I am already struggling this week, feeling overwhelmed, and its only Tuesday. I need to just... be better about getting up at a reasonable time, staying on task, and doing what I need to do. I know if I do that, I can get everything done, it's just...... snacks and naps, am I right?? 

Saved by Hope- Jenny Lowe

Jenny Lowe was 34 when she sought help from fertility specialists. An unsuccessful IVF attempt to conceive her first child left her painfully aware of the sting and stigma surrounding infertility, and brought her face to face with something insidious fighting against her.

Saved By Hope is the honest and emotional story of Jenny’s continued fight for motherhood. She recounts raw and devastating realities of grief and loss while shining light on love, selflessness, and something that could never be taken from her: Hope.

Oh my. I knew going into this it might be hard for me, not because I've experienced a great loss like this, I've only had one miscarriage and I know what that felt like, I cannot imagine going through it more than once. I feel like every obstacle that could be thrown her way, Jenny Lowe experienced it. Her descriptions of hospitals, rooms, lights, sounds, are so real and so descriptive that they became triggering for me from when Lucy was born. I'm always grateful in a way that I can't remember that time because I think maybe I'd be in a worse place than I am now, even six years out, but wow. 

To say this book unexpectedly blew me away would be an absolute understatement. Jenny left me out of breath and only able to think "wow" at the end because this is an incredibly powerful story so many women are living out, often quietly. I loved her honesty and vulnerability, but also making it a teaching lesson we could all use, in that let's maybe not ask a woman when they are going to have a baby. Or jokingly give the "you know how babies are made, right" jokes, all things that are well-meaning but can be devastatingly hurtful to women who are already desperately trying and struggling. 

I also like how she touched on adoption and non-biological parentship, and how common it is to worry that either you won't bond with the baby enough or they won't bond with you. To be honest, I really worried about that with my first because I was as hands off as I could be because I had postpartum depression so badly, and then I worried because of that, my child would hate me. With Lucy, I was in the ICU for days and when I came out I wasn't really with it, and at times I didn't even remember I had even had a baby. No path to motherhood looks the same, but all paths are OK. 

If you are looking for a gut-wrencher, this is your book! It does contain triggers for pregnancy loss, grief, cancer, medical trauma, surrogacy, IVF, and depression, so know that going in. The book itself isn't very long but will absolutely keep you glued to it and pack a punch. Thank you to Red Clover Digital for my copy for review and to Jenny for sharing your story. Wow.  

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