Book Review: The Light Through the Leaves

Happy Friday! I am so glad it is Friday. I've had such a full week it feels like. Whether it's health related, my birthday, mom life, or all of the other things, I just feel worn down. I was wishing for a few days of doing nothing but that certainly won't be this weekend... or next. Next week though is spring break for my kids so I'm hoping I can just sleep in and do nothing.. crossing fingers! 

The Light Through the Leaves

 Glendy Vanderah

One unbearable mistake at the edge of the forest.

In a moment of crisis, Ellis Abbey leaves her daughter, Viola, unattended—for just a few minutes. But when she returns, Viola is gone. A breaking point in an already fractured marriage, Viola’s abduction causes Ellis to disappear as well—into grief, guilt, and addiction. Convinced she can only do more harm to her family, Ellis leaves her husband and young sons, burying her desperate ache for her children deeper with every step into the mountain wildernesses she treks alone.

In a remote area of Washington, a young girl named Raven keeps secrets inside, too. She must never speak to outsiders about how her mother makes miracles spring from the earth, or about her father, whose mysterious presence sometimes frightens her. Raven spends her days learning how to use her rare gifts—and more important, how to hide them. With each lesson comes a warning of what dangers lie in the world beyond her isolated haven. But despite her mother’s cautions, Raven finds herself longing for something more.

As Ellis and Raven each confront their powerful longings, their journeys will converge in unexpected and hopeful ways, pulled together by the forces of nature, love, and family. 

Oh man, what a book. If you are looking for a light read, this really isn't it. If you're looking for a book that will really get your heart, dive into this one. 

As a mother, one of my biggest fears is and has always been child abduction. I was almost nervous to start this one but I have read another book by Glendy Vanderah, and I really enjoyed it so I felt OK going into this. We have Ellis, already a mother struggling a lot, and she makes a mistake that so many of us have done in some capacity. It only takes a moment, hindsight is always 20/20, and while it is easy to say what we would have done, we never truly know what we would do if in the same situation so reserve your judgement. One of my favorite thing about Glendy's books is she really ties in nature and the natural world but also a touch of supernatural, in a really great way. 

The story starts with Ellis, out and about with her infant daughter and toddler twin boys. The boys start acting up, for a literal second Ellis is overwhelmed while dealing with the tantrum and suddenly, her daughter Viola is gone. She's gone and her whole world spirals. Her marriage goes to shambles, she becomes addicted to drugs and alcohol, the media is BRUTAL to her, and she has what is maybe the world's worst mother in law, so she gives up her twin boys because she harbors so much guilt and grief and sees herself ruining her entire life and it breaks your heart. 

Fast forward several years. Viola is now known as Raven and she's living a not so great life with Mama, who has volatile moods (clearly mental illness is at play) and she has become self reliant but she spends a lot of times in the forest to connect with nature, which is tremendously helpful for her. 

The story flip flops between both Ellis and Raven and how their independent lives/stories eventually merge. I can't tell you how it happens or anything once it does because it really is magic. The ending is spectacular, it really clenched this one for me. I loved all of the secondary characters, too. I felt like all of the little story strings were pulled together and I loved it. 

Absolutely giving this one 5 stars, this pulled me right out of my reading slump and I am so grateful. It makes me so happy to have been on this tour, and Glendy is on my list of go-to authors. I cannot wait to see what comes next. Thank you to TLC Book Tours for having me on this tour and providing me an ARC for review. 

I highly suggest this one if you're looking for a book to really sink into, it is a perfect weekend read. 

 

This post contains affiliate links.

Book Spotlight: Gerta

Happy Friday, lambs! I hope you have a good one and that you have a pretty good weekend lined up. I don't have much planned, Olivia is doing a school thing for a good part of the day tomorrow and Matt is working so I think I'm going to do crafts and... clean my office?  

I know, I'm living a thrilling life, calm down. 

I also need to get more reading done. If you are also in that boat, and you are a fan of historical fiction, here is an incredibly interesting book that needs to be on your radar. 

Gerta - Katerina Tuckova

1945. Allied forces liberate Nazi-occupied Brno, Moravia. For Gerta Schnirch, daughter of a Czech mother and a German father aligned with Hitler, it’s not deliverance; it’s a sentence. She has been branded an enemy of the state. Caught in the changing tides of a war that shattered her family—and her innocence—Gerta must obey the official order: she, along with all ethnic Germans, is to be expelled from Czechoslovakia. With nothing but the clothes on her back and an infant daughter, she’s herded among thousands, driven from the only home she’s ever known. But the injustice only makes Gerta stronger, more empowered, and more resolved to seek justice. Her journey is a relentless quest for a seemingly impossible forgiveness. And one day, she will return.

Spanning decades and generations, Kateřina Tučková’s breathtaking novel illuminates a long-neglected episode in Czech history. One of exclusion and prejudice, of collective shame versus personal guilt, all through the eyes of a charismatic woman whose courage will affect all the lives she’s touched. Especially that of the daughter she loved, fought for, shielded, and would come to inspire.

Full disclosure, I am not finished with this one yet but I wanted to give you some insight as I go because though I'm not always a huge historical fiction fan, sometimes one just grabs me. Obviously the story of a young mother being herded away from home gave me visuals of the migrants at the southern US border. I pictured the women who were pregnant, with children already, walking miles and miles for some kind of safety and as I read this book that is what I'm picturing it. At least in the US, this piece of Czech history isn't touched on at all and I know I know a small amount of history of that region as it is but it is heartbreaking to know that things like this affect an entire family for generations after. 

If you are a fan of historical fiction, you will really enjoy this book. If you're just a history buff in general, I think you'll be greatly interested in this and it may inspire you to learn more about this time. The book is a translated version and so far, it has been done incredibly well. I'm roughly 240 pages in and I've only had a few bumps but it might be more me and my cognitive issues than issues with the actual translation. It does flip back and forth between time periods, which I think keeps you more invested throughout. I do think we've got a lot of different perspectives happening at once and I'm having a hard time holding all of these strings in my mind as we go, seeing how they weave together. I do hope this gets easier as the book goes on. 

Thank you to Over the River and Amazon Publishing for gifting me a copy, I am trying to push myself into reading things I think won't be in my wheelhouse and so far, I've been pleasantly surprised. This is also my second book this year that has been translated and they both have a beautiful rhythm to them, I imagine an audiobook version would almost be soothing to listen to. 

This post contains affiliate links. 

Book Review: Widowish

Hi, how are you? I'm kind of meh right now, and I'm just trying to get through each day. If you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen a video I posted about some shakeups with my medical team and things going on and yeah. 

I am overwhelmed and just totally over it. 

You know what I'm not over with? This book. 

Widowish - Melissa Gould

When Melissa Gould's husband, Joel, was unexpectedly hospitalized, she could not imagine how her life was about to change. Overwhelmed as his condition tragically worsened, she had to believe that while Joel’s loss was permanent, so was their love.

Left to raise their young daughter on her own, and to act as if she could resume life without her beloved husband by her side, Melissa found that she didn’t fit the typical idea of widowhood or meet the expectations of mourning. She didn’t look like a widow or act like a widow, but she felt like one. Melissa was widowish.

Melissa’s personal journey through grief and beyond includes unlikely inspiration from an evangelical preacher, the calming presence of some Real Housewives, and the unexpected attention of a charismatic musician.

A modern take on loss, Widowish illuminates the twists of fate that break our world, the determination that keeps us moving forward, and the surprises in life we never see coming.

Some of you might recognize this book as being one of the Amazon First Reads from January 2020 or December 2019, I can't remember. I would have picked it for sure but lucky for me, I received a copy for review from Little A, an imprint of Amazon Publishing, and I am SO GLAD because this was a five star read for me. Easily. 

This memoir follows Melissa Gould as she navigates her husband's death not long after his diagnosis of MS and watching that deterioration. I can't tell you much about what transpired that led to his death because you really need to go through that as Melissa does in the book. One of the best parts about this book for me was how she describes Joel's entrance to the emergency room and how quickly things go downhill, how she's getting information, and just... what it is like to walk out of a hospital like, "alright... so now I'm alone.... now what?", it just.... it gave me a different perspective that I didn't have. 

If you've followed me for awhile on this blog, you'll know that I died briefly in August 2016 when I gave birth to my youngest daughter. 

Obviously I survived, but for days, Matt was being advised that I might not make it, he was being made to answer some questions that we hadn't really talked about because we're young, we're too young to die, and while I survived... that's traumatic for Matt. I think about what would have happened if I didn't survive? How would Matt have picked up and carried on as a single dad to four kids? 

Fast forward to now, and I am riddled with a ton of health issues, including memory and cognitive issues, and I'm disabled. I'm unable to work, I rely 100% on Matt to take care of me even though I look totally normal/fine, I'm very much not. What would happen if he died? How would I take care of four kids? 

Needless to say, I devoured this book. The book is rather short, only 202 pages, and once you start you will not put it down, so just reserve a day for it. Melissa takes you through her and Joel's incredible love story, becoming parents, his MS diagnosis, his death, and her learning how to be a widow. Or widow... as a verb? I mean, is widowing an action? Maybe, depending on who you talk to, I guess. 

I really couldn't stop reading this, I cried because I tried to imagine what I would do if this was Matt and I, and I won't like, it triggered my PTSD and panic attacks because I am still really focused on death and dying and I don't know if I ever won't be. Who knows. I loved Melissa's humor and self deprecating personality because she speaks about the types of people you encounter in the grieving process and I totally understood it. To this day, I'm four years out, but I get people who ask how you are and they don't really want to hear, they'd much rather hear that you are totally fine an grateful, that you know you're blessed, because they will know they've done the socially expected act of wanting to care, but they don't want to be obligated. Instead, if you tell them how awful things are and that you're struggling you'll get one of two responses: the look of a caged animal not sure how to escape or the "well, at least you're alive!" faux chipper response, both of which are just awful.  

I totally related to that and I just wanted to hug her because I feel like nobody gets it.... and she does. 

I also really liked how she talked about trying to parent while grieving and making sure that you're helping them get through the grieving process whole, nobody wants to be responsible for screwing them up. I totally got that, and I really loved her candor. Overall? I really liked this book and if you are in the market for a good non-fiction, this should be at the top of your list. 

This post contains affiliate links.

Book Review: Your Story, My Story

If you follow me on Goodreads you maybe saw that I decided on 128 books for my 2021 Reading Challenge goal. My friend Andrea gifted me a weekly planner so I decided to use that solely for my blogging and Instagram goals, so I feel like I can be diligent about my reading all year so hopefully I can actually make that goal. I basically have to read two and a half books every week. All year. Think good thoughts, lambs. 

Your Story, My Story - Connie Palmen

In 1963 Sylvia Plath took her own life in her London flat. Her death was the culmination of a brief, brilliant life lived in the shadow of clinical depression—a condition exacerbated by her tempestuous relationship with mercurial poet Ted Hughes. The ensuing years saw Plath rise to martyr status while Hughes was cast as the cause of her suicide, his infidelity at the heart of her demise.

For decades, Hughes never bore witness to the truth of their marriage—one buried beneath a mudslide of apocryphal stories, gossip, sensationalism, and myth. Until now.

In this mesmerizing fictional work, Connie Palmen tells his side of the story, previously untold, delivered in Ted Hughes’s own uncompromising voice. A brutal and lyrical confessional, Your Story, My Story paints an indelible picture of their seven-year relationship—the soaring highs and profound lows of star-crossed soul mates bedeviled by their personal demons. It will forever change the way we think about these two literary icons.

I went out on a bit of a limb to read this one, if you have been following me for awhile you know that literary fiction isn't really something I read a lot of. I have been seeing this book all over Instagram and the cover is just intriguing and I couldn't say no. I also should note that I am not terribly well versed in the story of Sylvia Plath (except the highlights, of course) and I always seem to forget she was ever with Ted Hughes, so I didn't remember that there was ever anger towards him for her death although she clearly committed suicide. All of that to say that because I am not knowledgeable in this history, I can't tell you how reliable this could be called Ted Hughes's point of view. It is, of course, a work of fiction, but it really does read as if it is a reprint of a journal or maybe even an interview years later. 

YOUR STORY, MY STORY is well written but without chapters, merely only periodic line breaks so it makes it difficult to take a break during the book. The writing does sound rather... snooty? I suppose if it is written as if Ted Hughes has written it, that is maybe true to form, but it made it difficult to get into for me. When the story veers off into the drama between Plath and Hughes, that was the most captivating for me because any kind of glimpse into the demise of someone is captivating, as terrible as that sounds. I definitely can't call this a love story although I think the intention is to turn two people who really probably shouldn't have been together into a romantic goal, saying she loved me so much she killed herself, thus binding us and our story together. This isn't a Romeo and Juliet story but it almost feels like this relationship is being sold as such. Certainly, Hughes was a dirt bag in his own right but Plath was clearly unstable in her own right that I wonder if she used him as an excuse to end her life. 

I mean, who knows. I was reading this late at night and was starting to get confused so I feel like I am missing plot points. 

Overall? It was definitely an ambitious and interesting take on a tumultuous love story that doesn't really seem like a love story after all. Instead it seems like the story of two young people, each brilliant in their own way but having no idea who they are or what they could become, being drawn together. It's like two stars combusting, and nobody ends up brighter in the end. It was sad in parts and I think if you are a fan of Sylvia Plath, or maybe you hate Ted Hughes, this would be a really intriguing read for you. 

Thank you to Over the River PR for having me on this tour and providing a copy for review! 

This post contains affiliate links.