Sunday, May 31, 2009

Such a Pretty Fat

No, it's not how I am describing myself (today at least), it's the new book I just finished reading. If you don't know who Jen Lancaster is, then you are totally living under a rock. Her and I have the EXACT SAME personality, which is a tad creepy. It also makes me feel more normal, which is always a welcomed thing.

Also in reading this book it has given me the motivation I really needed to get my ass moving. So this week I have really tried harder at exercising- I went to Curves once (I swear I'll go at least 3 times this week) but more notably, I walked for at least 30 minutes using my iPod. Good songs to listen to while walking- Xhibit, GUnit, The Living End, etc. Stuff that you shouldn't walk to- Jewel, Celine Dion and pretty much anything that is in regular rotation at a pop station. I really wanted to kill myself for the two blocks it took me to figure out how to rearrange my songs. And thanks to Matt for uploading 85 of my CD's for me. He only has like 600 to go. :) Then I'll really be cooking. AND, I even walked in the dark last night. For those of you who know me, that's huge because I am terrified of being outside in the dark. But it didn't matter, because I had 50 Cent and GUnit jazzing me up to pop a cap in someone's ass in case I needed to. I totally could have taken a mugger down last night should the occassion risen. Oh, and I tried running. I just want to apolgize right now for the people who live on the 53rd block of Banks Avenue- if you happen to be outside or looking out your window, it was my jiggling ass attempting to run. I made it a block before my calves felt like they would spontaneously combust. But hey, a block is better than nothing. Right??

So back to my original reason for blogging today- read the book. I laughed a LOT during this book so much so that Matt politely asked me to read in another room because my uncontrollable laughter was annoying to him. Ass. But it's totally worth it. And my new favorite line that I cannot wait to use- "I'm sorry, are you having a seizure? Because I know you didn't just roll your eyes at me." HAHAHA!!!! I feel like if I met Jen in real life, she and I would totally be new besties. Seriously. Watch out world.

OH!!!! And because her memoirs are so incredibly popular, one of my 30 things before I'm 30 is going to be- write a memoir. You so know you want to read about my insane life. Seriously. I have more hilarious things that happen to me in one week than would happen to a normal person in a year. It's kind of sad, but my life basically is a sitcom. I'm waiting for the day I walk out of my house to see the TV crew, can lights, and booms hanging over me. Just a matter of time I say. Hopefully they weren't filming my loser attempt at running....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think Bitter is the New Black is still my favorite.

But, I am LOVING Pretty in Plaid and I think it may just be the winner in the end.