Friday, May 27, 2011

Milwaukee or Bust.

I've been away for the best possible reason. I had a mini vacay with no husbands, no kids, no neurotic cats, spending money I don't have, and loving every second of it. Today while doing bills I almost regret buying the most comfortable pair of pants I've quite possibly have ever owned even if they do look weird on the bottom but then again... I pretty much don't. You're just gonna have to wait student loan payment!

Anyways. ;)

I took a fabulous trip with my friend Amy to Milwaukee for the purpose of attending the book signing for Jen Lancaster's new book If You Were Here. I am a huge fan of hers and would like to be her BFF. (Jen, I'm prepared to try making friendship bracelets. I wasn't good in my younger year, but dammit-- I'll give it another whirl for you.) BUT we did lots of fun stuff along the way.

It started with me leaving my house at 4:45 am so I could get to Amy in time for us to leave and get to Milwaukee around supper time.
 We stopped at a McDonald's (in Rochester, I think?) and it was ghetto. So ghetto it had a blue toilet.
The drive to Milwaukee was really long. I was so fucking tired because I got *maybe* 4.5 hours of sleep before. But Amy and I had talked about a ton of stuff so it felt like it went by rather quickly. We stopped in Wisconsin Dells for some outlet shopping. I ended up getting the kids some toys at the Disney Store but Amy.... well she caved and bought a pair of Crocs. She tried to convince me but the flats felt like suction cups on my feet and I just didn't know if I could do it. But she did and she loves them. When the rubber meets the road, baby.

After that we made it to our hotel which was really nice. It offered free drinks and free pizza. When we checked in the nice girl at the desk (who clearly wanted to be our BFF) told us the third floor was haunted. Coincidentally, we were staying on the third floor. We went up to our room and the window looked out to the pool area. And then I saw it.

A gang (does 3 make a gang? Let's pretend it does) of lesbians. This trip took a sudden turn for glorious. Not only was there one girl who kept hitting her head (seriously- I couldn't get a good picture of her doing it but it was weird), but there was one in particular who was special. I'll apologize now that I didn't get a picture of her ass, I believe I was blinded when I saw it. BUT I did get a picture of her hiking up her boxer shorts. (Yes- you'll all appreciate my super awesome zoom because these were taken from a third floor window, while we kind of hid behind some blinds)
 And her practicing the Rump Shaker with her girlfriend.
 From afar we only suspected they were lesbians. Fortunately, on the way down to get our free pizza we shared the elevator with them. How Amy and I didn't bust out laughing, I don't know.

The next day our mission was clear: shopping so Amy could get her J.Crew & NorthFace fix, eating at Frank's Diner, and the Jen Lancaster book signing.

We shopped. Amy got a lot of cute stuff, I got a pair of pants that are amazing and weird at the same time, and I got a brown cardigan for my Vegas trip. It's super thin and light so I can wear it over my strapless dresses if I get chilly. Which I might not, but it'll go in my purse perfectly. See? I have some smarts. We got some other random stuff too but we had to hustle it to Franks before one... because after that they don't serve anyone anymore.

Amy found this place that she wanted to go to badly. Seriously, anything I write can't do it enough justice, but you can watch the clip of their diner here and it's a totally accurate description of our visit there.
 After seeing the place in action, I already want to go back. And I'm going to get the most massive pancake I have ever seen. But Amy and I ordered burgers because it was lunch time for us. Now, while I ordered a regular burger with fries (and pickle.. obviously)...
 Amy ordered a HUGE burger unknowingly. But hers had bacon and bleu cheese in the middle. She said it was really good. AND she got home made tater tots. Seriously. They looked good. So our food was amazing and we were so full. We also got a kick out of sitting right behind the grill at the bar. We got to see how they made everything and it was fun.
 And then we got our picture outside of the place.
Now... tomorrow I'll tell you about the rest of trip. Mostly because I'm tired and Blogger won't let me upload any more pictures and I have a bunch more for you.

Yeah... Dear Sara is postponed. Suck it. ;) (Not really- I'm on my period and that would be gross.)


Oilfield Trash said...

Her burger with the blue cheese on it sounds delicious.

Anonymous said...

Look at how HAGGARD my hair looks. jeeez... this is what you get people when I'm rushed for time. :)

Also- YES. When rubber meets the road. lmao. So many fun times :)

Unknown said...

Now, one day in the future when I google "Milwaukee lesbians" I'm going to be directed to this post.

Is that a good thing? =P

My Own Private Idaho

middle child said...

Gotta see a picture of those "weird" pants.

Julie H said...

FUN! I've read a few of Jen's books but not the last 2 I think. Too cheap to pay for the big ole hardback haha.

Holly Diane said...

I am cracking up over here and so thankful that you didn't cave in and buy but seriously a "gang" of lesbians? Don't you know we are called "family" it's a family of lesbians, sounds so much nicer than gang.
That is one freakishly large's way bigger than your hamburger..but it did look yummy. Glad you had fun!

Nikolett said...

LOL at sharing an elevator with the 'gang' of lesbians ... I totally would have been the one to burst out in laughter if I was there. Can't wait to hear more about it but sleep tight 'til then, m'lady :D

Unknown said...

i'm visiting from the lady blogger :) nice to meet'cha sassy!


Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog and this trip to Milwaukee is no exception.

I have to say I have been to this McDonalds you speak of and actually planted my ass on that blue toilet. Fun times.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Have to say Frank's Dinner looks like a great place and I wish we had someplace like that over here.

The gang of lesbians made me laugh

Dana said...

I'm glad you got some time away from your fam and could be with your friend and do whatever you'd like! Frank's looks good!